Pigskin Predictions

First things first. You should keep in mind that this forecast is by no means fearless. Also, you should be aware that this is for entertainment purposes only. If you wager any of your hard earned money based on my prognostications, you do so at your own risk and deserve to lose. Okay, that being said, here we go:

AFC

EAST – The Patriots will run away with this division. They have the third best quarterback in the NFL in Tom Brady and evil genius Bill Belichick has even added a new target for him. The Bills will surprise and vie for a wild card spot. The Jets and Dolphins won’t surprise when they vie for the bottom spot.

NORTH – Look for the Ravens to edge out the Steelers. It will be decided when they play each other on November 18 in Pittsburgh and then again, two weeks later in Baltimore. The Steelers will make the playoffs via the wild card route. The Bengals don’t have enough defense and the Browns don’t have enough of anything.

SOUTH -  Texans, Texans and more Texans. Even with Andre Johnson’s annual injuries, there is nothing in the this division to prevent then them from winning it going away. Not the Titans, not the Colts and definitely not the Jaguars.

WEST- The Chiefs will win the division with the Broncos and Raiders battling it out for a wild card spot. I look for all three teams finishing right around 9-7. It will be interesting to see if Eli’s big brother can stay healthy in Denver. The only time the Chargers will be appealing is when they sport their baby blue jerseys.

NFC

EAST – I don’t know why, but I just can’t count out the New York football Giants. Payton’s kid brother isn’t very flashy, but he sure knows how to win. The Cowboys and Eagles are somewhat enigmatic to me. While they both possess plenty of offensive weapons, neither team does it for me. That being said, one of these teams will qualify as a wild card team. The Redskins just aren’t good and have now screwed up their classic uniforms this season. Snyder is a tool.

NORTH – This division is no longer the “Black ‘n’ Blue” division, it’s all about the offense. It will be the unenviable task of the Lions and Bears to keep up with the Packers’ vaunted aerial attack. Good luck with that. If the Lions defense can avoid be suspended at a record breaking pace, they will earn a wild card. The Bears defense is getting old real fast. (See Brian Urlacher) The Vikings aren’t even in the discussion.

SOUTH – The Saints and Falcons both boast explosive offensives. The difference is New Orleans is lead by Drew Brees and “Matty Ice” is the guy calling the shots for Atlanta. Enough said. With the suspension situation currently reversed, the Saints will take the divisional crown and the Falcons will procure a wild card spot. Cam Newton and the Panthers will make it interesting for a while, but fade in the end. The Buccaneers’ uniforms make me vomit in my mouth.

WEST -  The 49ers features the top defensive squad in the NFL. It is good enough to make up for the inadequacies of Alex Smith and all the time Frank Gore will miss due to his inevitable injuries. Early in the season, with Russell Wilson at the helm, the Seahawks will give the 49ers a fight for the top spot with the Niners emerging on top. The Rams will slide into the third spot with a listless Cardinals team finishing a distant fourth.

PLAYOFFS

I won’t bore you with the Wild Card and Divisional games, let’s go straight to the Conference Championship games.

AFC

The Texans knock off Tom Brady and the rest of the Patriots, 37-28 in Houston’s Reliant Stadium. Matt Schaub hooks up with Kevin Walter late in the game to put the game out of reach. Schaub’s performance earns him MVP honors and puts the Texans in the Super Bowl.

NFC

On an unusually warm January day, the Packers destroy the 49ers, 42-17 on the not-so frozen tundra of Lambeau Field. Jordy Nelson, with three touchdown receptions is the MVP. Clay Matthews and B. J. Raji lead a stubborn defense and Green Bay is headed to New Orleans in February.

SUPER BOWL

What was supposed to be an offensive shootout, turns out to be a defensive struggle with the Packers scoring a hard-fought 17-14 victory over the Texans on the synthetic turf of the Superdome. The Vince Lombardi trophy returns to Titletown. Charles Woodson becomes only the eighth defensive player to garner an MVP award. The defensive back picked off two Schaub passes, returning one for the game-winning TD.

There ya go, my not-so fearless pigskin predictions for the 2012 NFL season. Before you race off to call your bookie and put a few shekels on the Pack going all the way, make sure you cast a vote on my new poll question.

Until next time…from the booth.

Getting Old

Yesterday was the first Saturday of college football. With the Fighting Irish playing Navy over in Ireland, you could start watching games at 8:00 am. Sometime after 10:30 pm, USC finished trouncing Hawaii. In between, there were games on at least a dozen channels. I took a look ahead and saw that there is a minimum of 31 games on the tube next Saturday. You are probably thinking that I am in my glory. 

Well you would be wrong. I am not. I have come to the brutal realization that I really don’t care about college football anymore. I’m reluctant to admit it, but I think I am getting old.

It’s true, it has dawned on me that I no longer possess the rabid enthusiasm for most sports that I once had. After a bit of reflection, I was able to come up with a list of the sports that I am still passionate about. Here it is:

1. Major League Baseball
2. NFL Football

That’s it, and in that order.

Last season I did not watch one complete NHL game, not even during the Stanley Cup playoffs. I’m not really sure why hockey no longer captures my interest. As far as the NBA goes, I doubt that I watched more than 5 minutes of any one game this past season. That’s basically because the NBA sucks.

As far as other sports go, I still have a mild interest in them, but not like before. I still enjoy March Madness and will tune into the major tennis and golf tournaments, but not 24/7 like in the past.

I am sure that my time spent listening to sport talk radio will diminish considerably over the next few months. When the talk turns to college football or the NBA, I will simply turn the dial. The impending work stoppage makes the NHL a moot point.

Maybe I should have seen this manifestation of apathy coming. Looking back, I noticed that I didn’t have the same infatuation with many of the superstar athletes as most people do.

Despite their greatness, I never liked John Elway, Cal Ripken Jr., Michael Jordan, Ben Roethisberger or Serena Williams. In the past, it wasn’t a matter of just disliking these jocks, I actively rooted against them. Now, it’s more a case of not being able to care less.

Now my indifference also extends into my hatred of specific teams. In the past, my loathing of the Cubs, Bears, Bulls, Vikings and Cardinals was all consuming. As hard as I pulled for the Packers, Brewers and Bucks to win, I rooted just as hard for those teams from Chicago, Minnesota and St. Louis to lose. I had such strong contempt for those teams, it was ridiculous.

But not anymore.

Sure, it still bothers me if the Cubs beat the Brewers or if the Bears should knock off the Packers. However, it doesn’t gnaw at my gut like it used to. As my friend Bev has told me on more than one occasion, it’s only a game. And she’s right, a game isn’t worth getting all melodramatic and emotional over.

Now granted, there are Cub and Bear fans that still get under my skin with their moronic, knuckle-dragger remarks, but not to the point where I want to squeeze their heads until they pop like a pubescent zit. That’s in the past.

But not anymore.

It amazes me that it took Saturday’s glut of college football games to make me aware that I am no longer as obsessed with sports as I once was. Don’t even suggest that I am more mature and have finally grown up. No way. I am as childish as ever. I prefer to think that I am just getting older.

I’m gonna watch the Tigers/Sox game now. Or maybe I will read a book. Have a safe Labor Day holiday. Until next time…from the booth.

I Got Some ‘Splaining To Do

Me circa 1990

In my last three blogs, “So Sad”, “So Happy” and “One More”, I wrote about one of the most wonderful weeks of my life. I chronicled those five remarkable days in Oshkosh at the Pioneer Inn during the summer of 1990. In that trio of blogs, I related many of the experiences that made it such a special time. However, I never made it clear what exactly made them so memorable. You might think you know why, but there is much more to it.

I guess I got some ‘splaining to do.

In the time leading up to Oshkosh, I had gone through a rather monumental personal metamorphism. Not only had I been promoted to Human Resource Director at Koos Inc., but I had also lost some weight. A considerable amount of weight. A whole lot of weight. Without getting into exact numbers, let’s just say that I was half the man I used to be. Literally.

It was a gradual process, taking over a year before accomplishing this tremendous physical feat. By the time I made that trip to Oshkosh, I was the lightest I ever was since junior high school.

Reminiscing, it was sort of surreal. My appearance was totally different. People that I hadn’t seen for awhile didn’t recognize me. It was amazing being able to buy clothes off the rack at “normal” stores. I even wore shorts in public.

This was all fantastic. I definitely enjoyed being “normal” and all of the perks that went along with it. The numerous compliments that I received were appreciated but unnecessary.

The thing is, in my mind, I was still Paul the jolly fat guy.

Perhaps because I never mentally morphed from Paul the jolly fat guy, I never accepted the whole concept of being “normal”. No matter what the package on the outside looked like, the inside hadn’t changed. I was still Paul the jolly fat guy, not some “normal” guy.

That is the reason the week in Oshkosh was so exceptional. These were people that never knew Paul the jolly fat guy. They had never met me before and yet they liked me. They really liked me!

Don’t get me wrong; even before I became a “normal” guy, I had no problem meeting and socializing with others. After all, I was a jolly fat guy.

But it was always on my terms. I had to initiate the interaction; I had to be in control of the circumstance. It was my defense mechanism. There was an unmistakable need to be sure the situation was comfortable. I needed to be prepared for anything that might happen.

The lack of being in control is what made the Oshkosh event so unforgettable. I was completely unprepared for total strangers to be friendly and to spark relationships with me.

The icing on the cake was when the ladies asked me to dance with them in the nightclub. Women weren’t supposed to be attracted to me. I was Paul the jolly fat guy. I never saw this coming and was totally flummoxed. Things like this weren’t supposed to happen to me.

But they did. And that is why those five days in Oshkosh at the Pioneer Inn during the summer of 1990 were a such remarkable period in my life.

Over the years I have transformed back to Paul the jolly fat guy, both physically and mentally. Looking back, I never quit being Paul the jolly fat guy. Not even when I was “normal”. I will never forget Oshkosh. It will always be special.

I hope that now you understand, because I’m done ‘splaining. This was originally posted August 5, 2011. Until next time…from the booth.

One More

In my last blog I mentioned that I might be able to come up with one more story from my experiences at the Pioneer Inn. In the last few installments of From The Booth, I have been gushing about the fabulous week that I spent in Oshkosh back in 1990. In “So Happy”, I wrote about the wonderful people that I had met and the incredible party we had on the last night there.

As great as that party was, it wasn’t the only fond memory from that week. There was something else that comes to mind that provides me with one more story.

If you recall, the first classmate that I met at the Human Resource seminar was my “next door neighbor”, John. He had the room next to mine and came knocking on my door minutes after I arrived. Given the proximity of our living quarters, John and I got to know each quite well and usually ate lunch together at the resort’s outstanding restaurant.

John lived in Milwaukee, commuted to Madison daily for his job and had just recently gotten married. I knew this because he often excused himself to call his bride. I recall one afternoon when he bolted out of the conference room the moment class ended. As he rushed down the hall, he looked over his shoulder, smiled at me and shouted, “The wife drove up for a visit!” He was young and in love.

I may have neglected to tell you one other noteworthy thing about John. He was black and now that I think of it, I would imagine that he still is. To me, the color of a person’s skin is irrelevant. However, for this particular story it does have significance. Trust me, you will see.

Typically, our class was from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm with an hour off for lunch. Except for Wednesday, that was our short day. After an early lunch, we were free for the rest of the day.

It seemed like everyone had plans on how to spend their free time. Many of the ladies had planned to go shopping at the huge outlet mall located in Oshkosh, while others were going to enjoy Lake Winnebago.

Since the Green Bay Packer training camp was in full swing, I had decided to go watch the team practice. I asked the people seated near me in the restaurant if any of them were interested in joining me.

They all politely declined, except for John. He quietly said that he would like to go with. I told him, “Cool, let’s go” and got up from the table.

As we were walking toward the parking lot, John asked me if I was really okay with him coming along. Somewhat perplexed, I reassured him with a loud, “Why wouldn’t I be?” and we were on our way. The 50-mile trip on Highway 41 went by quickly and we arrived in Titletown less than an hour later.

Practice hadn’t started yet, so I chose to drive around Lambeau Field to give John a tour of the venerable stadium, driving slowly through the large parking lot.

As I carefully maneuvered my bulky silver-gray Dodge Ramcharger through the multitude of Packer fans that were milling about, some began approaching us. John’s eyes widened when the fans started waving at us and slapping the hood of my SUV.

When I noticed the Packer players were riding bikes and making their way from Lambeau Field to the practice fields across the street, I decided to get a parking space and find a spot for us to sit.

While walking to the portable bleachers, fans continued to wave at the two of us, many cheerfully shouting hello. When we finally sat down, John had a twinkle in his eye and said, “Man, the people up here sure are nice. Thanks!” I smiled and told him it was no problem.

A heartwarming story, don’t you think? Let me reveal the humorous wrinkle to this tale.

Remember that I said it was noteworthy that John was black? Well, not only was he black, but he was also tall, good-looking and put together well. In fact, he played varsity tennis in college. He had an athletic look about him.

Now factor into the equation that we were in Green Bay, Wisconsin in the year 1990. At that time, there were very few blacks in Green Bay that weren’t playing for the Packers or a part of their organization. Especially young, athletic-looking black males.

John was a young, athletic-looking black man at Lambeau Field in Green Bay, Wisconsin and training camp was going on. He just had to be a Packer! At least that’s what those fans thought on that warm summer day in 1990.

I am pretty sure that’s why they were so hospitable to John; they thought he played for the Packers. But the thing is, if they actually knew John, they would have been just as nice to him even though he wasn’t a Packer. I know that I’m glad that he spent the afternoon with me.

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This blog was originally posted July 30, 2011. The final chapter of this saga will be posted on Thursday.

Until next time…from the booth

So Happy

Okay, the sadness I was experiencing previously has finally ebbed enough for me to make good on my promise to do a blog about more joyous times. If you recall, at the end of “So Sad”, I pledged to let you know why my stay at the Pioneer Inn was so memorable. I also said that it would be a joy reliving those glorious moments, and it will be. That week was unquestionably one of the most wonderful periods of my life.

It made me happy. So happy.

This glorious span of five-plus days revolved around a Human Resource seminar in Oshkosh, Wisconsin and took place the summer of 1990. The setting was the rustic Pioneer Inn resort, nestled on sparkling Lake Winnebago.

This resplendent lodge featured 182 beautiful guest rooms, 10 suites and complete conference and retreat facilities. An award-winning restaurant overlooking the lake was available for your dining pleasure.

Other amenities included a nightclub, an indoor/outdoor pool, whirlpool, a fitness room and a game room. Available outside was a sizable marina, watercraft rentals, a bike/walking path, volleyball courts and a miniature golf course.

This place had it all and it made me happy. So happy.

When I checked in early Sunday evening. I had barely put my luggage away before there was a knock on my door. My “next door neighbor”, John, had seen me entering my room and figured that I might be there for the same reason. He was right; we were both attending the same seminar.

The next morning I met the rest of the group that were there for the training session. The group was comprised of 20 individuals from different parts of Wisconsin. Besides John and myself, there were only two other males. That’s right, 16 women and 4 men. If my Tremper High School math serves me correctly, that’s a 4-to-1 ratio.

Are you beginning to see why I was happy? So happy.

The seminar incorporated many interactive projects that included a great deal of role-playing. This provided an excellent way to get to know the others. For some reason, the more boisterous individuals seemed to gravitate toward me. It didn’t take long before I realized that this was going to be fun. And this was just the seminar.

For the most part, the schedule was class from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm with an hour off for lunch in the marvelous resort restaurant. That left plenty of time to enjoy the many features offered at the Pioneer Inn and to explore Oshkosh. I also continued to become more acquainted with my new classmates.

Typically, the day would end with a number of us meeting in the nightclub for a drink. At first, we would only discuss the seminar. But once we had become more familiar with each other, we started joking around, telling stories and having some laughs.

The second night that our group assembled in the lounge, we noticed a poster promoting a musical group that would be appearing beginning Thursday evening. That being our last night together, we immediately decided that we would make that our going away party. We agreed to try to get as many people from our seminar to attend.

This was going to be a blast. I was happy. So happy.

When Thursday arrived, it was bittersweet. Sure, there was the get-together at the nightclub, complete with a live band, but it was a farewell party. More than likely, the next morning would be the last time that I would ever see these people.

Fortunately something happened to take my mind off of this fact. Someone had noticed a sign advertising one-dollar margaritas at the pub just up the road from the Pioneer Inn. There was going to be a pre-party party! There was no doubt that this would only add to the merriment.

At 5 o’clock sharp a gregarious group of twelve started the two-block trek to quench its collective thirst. Unfortunately we were greeted with some disappointing news. Evidently the margarita special was on Wednesday night. We were crestfallen.

Our frowns were quickly turned upside when the barkeep informed us that Thursday’s special was 10-cent beer. That’s right, beer was only a dime a glass. It almost made me wish that I had not quit drinking. I could have done some serious damage to my liver at that price, but I thought better of it.

Needless to say our merry band of human resource types was adequately lubricated when it was time to head back to the Pioneer Inn for the real party. That short hike was chock-full of staggering, weaving and hilarity.

It’s safe to say that I was happy. So happy.

When we finally made it back to the nightclub, we were greeted by four more of our classmates and a Prince tribute band. Not exactly my favorite type of music, but hey, the place was jumping and I was enjoying my company. I was having a great time.

Then it happened. One of the ladies from our group asked me to dance with her. After getting over the initial shock, I politely explained that I wasn’t comfortable dancing, especially to a song that fast. Smiling, she grumbled something about not being done with me. Relieved, I went back to my diet Coke and continued telling jokes.

A bit later, the band was playing a slow ballad. Suddenly I was jerked from my seat by another one of my female classmates and dragged by my hand onto the dance floor. Hey, I was a lot smaller in 1990. But that’s a story for another day and another blog.

I had barely started to enjoy the slow dance when the lady who had first asked me to dance abruptly grabbed my shoulder, pulling me away. She blurted out, “He’s mine.” She then added, “I thought you didn’t dance?” and led me away. Sheepishly I shrugged my shoulders and went with my new dance partner.

The remainder of the evening was a blur. I had never received so much attention from peoples that I hardly new. And they were of the opposite sex no less! I couldn’t believe what was happening.

The Friday morning session was short and sweet. We traded goodbyes and awkward smiles while exchanging business cards and phone numbers. Deep down I knew that I would never hear from these lovely people again; much less see any of them.

And I was right. Oh, I might have received a card from one of the ladies, but never again did I see anyone from that incredible week at the Pioneer Inn. They are all just memories. Magnificent and fantastic memories.

That’s why I’m still happy. So happy.

Believe it or not, I might be able to pull one last story from my experiences at the memorable Pioneer Inn. We shall see.

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This blog was originally posted July 25, 2011. Part three will be posted on Tuesday.

Until next time…from the booth.

So Sad

Pioneer Inn Oshkosh, WI

The current heat wave has caused me to be sad. So sad. No, it’s not because of the scorching temperatures or the oppressive dew points. It’s not even the 105° heat index we experienced today. While I personally do not enjoy any of those things, they are not the reason for my present state of unhappiness. But rest assure that the current heat wave has definitely caused me to be sad. So sad.

This hot spell that we are mired in brought about this sense of melancholy a couple of nights ago. As can be expected, the local TV news reports have been jam-packed with stories about air conditioners, beaches and ice cubes.

All I wanted to see was the forecast. I wanted to know how long this was supposed to last. Where was Brian Gotter when you needed him?

Finally my favorite weatherman was on and magically all of his fancy visuals appeared. At one point Gotter was standing in front of a map of Wisconsin while he mentioned the current temperature in Oshkosh.

That’s when it all started.

Oshkosh! I love Oshkosh! After all, the Pioneer Inn was in Oshkosh! One of the most memorable weeks of my entire life took place at the Pioneer Inn. Those were undoubtedly five of the happiest days of my life.

You are probably wondering why I’m so sad if Oshkosh brings back such pleasant memories. I shall get to that, but first a little background is required.

Prior to that glorious week in Oshkosh, I had been promoted to the newly created position of Human Resource Director at Koos Inc. That’s right; Koos, Inc. never had anyone in that position before 1990. I know, I know, but keep in mind that we are talking about Koos Inc.

Since I was new to the position, the company felt that it would be beneficial for me to attend a seminar concerning the intricacies of Human Resources. That is where Oshkosh and the Pioneer Inn entered into the equation because that is where the seminar took place.

So, on a lovely Sunday afternoon in the summer of 1990, I aimed my Dodge Ramcharger north on Highway 41, not really knowing what to expect. 2½ hours and 120 miles later I arrived at the Pioneer Inn resort located on sparkling Lake Winnebago.

The time between Sunday evening when I arrived and Friday afternoon when I left were chock-full of wonderful memories. I believe that I was smiling the entire time I was there. Just thinking about it, I am smiling right now.

Then why am I also so sad?

On that fateful night, when I was reminded of Oshkosh, I immediately did a search on my computer for the Pioneer Inn. I needed another glimpse, a reminder of that splendid week. It would be like looking up an old friend.

Unfortunately, what I found is the reason that I am downhearted. The Pioneer Inn is no longer with us. That enchanting 180-room resort located on Lake Winnebago in Oshkosh, Wisconsin no longer exists. It is gone.

When I searched “Pioneer Inn Oshkosh”, I got a response from tripadvisor.com titled, “Why is the Pioneer Inn closed?” What I saw next caused my heart to drop.

There were 29 replies, a few explanations mixed in with many notes of disbelief. This comment summed things up the best:

“Unbelievable: I cannot believe this beautiful property is not being used. At the very least they should open up the restaurant. This is a crime and the guy that bought this property should be put in jail.

Long story short. The owners and the DNR got into a big disagreement and a lot of legal red tape regarding public as opposed to private land usage on the proposed site of the hotel/condo.

The resort was open in the summer of 2005, sans hotel. Just the restaurant and banquet facilities. Since then, everything has been closed except for the marina, which, quite frankly, is going straight down the crapper.

As a former employee, I am extremely saddened by the constant push and shove match the owners and DNR cannot seem to get over. Call it what you want to call it, back it up with mounds of paperwork and land agreements, but it is what it is...

A bunch of 4 year olds fighting the old “I will not”, “you will too"” game on the school playground.

Shame on you all.”

It took Brian Gotter’s weather map to make me aware that this once-magnificent institution is no longer around. This resort that was the hub for what was the most outstanding 5-day period of my life now ceases to be.

I am sad. So sad.

That is enough mourning for my old friend, the Pioneer Inn. In an upcoming blog I promise to let you know why my stay there was so unforgettable. After all this gloominess, it’s the least I can do. Besides, it will be a joy reliving those glorious moments.

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This blog was originally posted July 20, 2011. Part two will be posted on Sunday.

Until next time…from the booth.