Survivor: Hooters Edition!

Tonight marked the kickoff of the 18th season of the award-winning reality show Survivor. The competitors will try to outwit, outplay and outlast one another while attempting to survive whatever the mountainous highlands of Tocantins, Brazil can throw at them.

Like all good Survivor Geeks, I was singing along during the opening credits, “oy luli-luli-luli”. After watching for fifteen minutes I came to realize that Tocantins isn’t the only thing that is mountainous this season!

My assessment was reinforced when Jamie, a friend and fellow Survivor Geek, emailed me during the first commercial break. She commented that her first impression was that the boobs are getting bigger. She said, "This is like "Survivor: Hooters Edition!"

Yes indeed, the theme of this first episode was first impressions and the ample bosoms of this year’s crop of female challengers definitely made an impression on me. Before the closing credits were rolling, my Aunt Janet called to get my take on the opener. When I brought up Jamie’s comment, she said that’s exactly what your Uncle John noticed!

Both tribes, Timbira and Jalapao, have equal representation with none of their female members lacking in the cleavage category. Early standouts are Carolina, Sierra, Candace and Taj. It’s not going to be hard for guys to stay interested this season.

It should also be noted that Jamie made a salient comment later in the broadcast. It was shortly after professional cyclist Tyson stripped completely naked in front of two of the females that the following was emailed to me – “Tyson's the first one to get naked…he will go far.” That prophetic statement reminded me that Jamie isn’t your average run of the mill Survivor fan. No sir, she is a true Survivor Geek!

So it looks as if the ladies will also have sufficient visual matter to hold their interest as well. Besides the buff Tyson, there are no fewer than five other males vying for the million-dollar prize that fall into the classification of hunk. Hey, what about Survivor Chippendale Edition?

It is still too early for me to choose a favorite, a favorite to win the title of sole Survivor that is. Erinn is from Waukesha, so I have a soft spot for her in the early goings. Plus she is much more attractive than Wisconsin’s representative from season one, Sue Hawk. I am going have to wait a few weeks and see more of the contestant’s personalities.

Geek Jamie says she sees no clear-cut front-runners yet, although she seems to be leaning toward the curmudgeon bus driver, Sandy. As far as someone to hate, she is waiting for a super-loud, opinionated bigot to emerge. Patience my fellow Geek, patience, it will happen.

I suppose at some point I should let you know the results of the first Tribal Council. It came down to the well-endowed 26-year-old bartender, Carolina and the salty 53-year-old bus driver from Kentucky, Sandy.

Unfortunately, as prominent as Carolina’s breasts were, so was her annoying, squeaky voice. Plus she was bossy. As any long-time Survivor Geek knows, this is not a winning combination. Mammoth mammaries are always overlooked when they belong to someone that is overbearing and has an aggravating voice.

The tribe spoke and told the busty bartender it was closing time. She didn’t have to go home, but she couldn’t stay in Tocantins. However, Sandy, much to Jamie’s delight, could.

Next week looks promising. In between phone calls and emails I was able to catch the upcoming highlights. It looked like the hunks and babes were playing basketball in the water, in their skimpy bathing suits while it was raining. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait! Until next time…from Tocantins.