What's in a Nickname?

What’s in a nickname? Nice question for a guy who was nicknamed Puddles 34 years ago while stacking fifty-pound bags of ice melter in the summer heat at Koos Inc. When I became involved in softball, managing the legendary 400 Club, the tag stuck. I was in good company though, because heaven only knows the number of nicknames that are hung on softball players.

But what makes a really good nickname? One online dictionary gives the following definitions for nickname:

(noun) 1. An additional or substitute name given to a person, place or thing – usually descriptive and given in fun, affection or derision, as “Doc” or “Shorty”. 2. A familiar, often shorter, form of a proper name, as “Dick” for Richard”.

Puddles would probably fall under the first definition, although I have been called Dick. As far as softball players go, your guess is as good as mine. Most could fall under either definition, with some being somewhere in between. Still others just leave you scratching your head, saying, “Huh?”

Thinking back, I put together a list of over 80 nicknames for Kenosha softball players. Some are fairly obvious, ones given because of the player’s real name or a physical attribute. For example, Jeff “Red” DiCello, Roger “Worm” Wermeling, Bruce “Eddie” Edmark, Willy “China” Yee, Bill “Mountain” Griffith and Dan “Ozzie” Ausloos. You can see what I mean; they are easy to figure out how they came about.

Then there are those that are, simply put, good solid nicknames. Falling into this category are Glen “Munk” Ekern, Jimmy “Slash” Gentile, Fred “The Hammer” Parham, Jeff “Lumpy” Perrault, Brad “Chili” Breiling, Dale “Bear” Kolmos, John “Cool Papa” Schwarz and Steve “Blade” Hess.

Others in this group are Glen “Smooth” Marescalco, Tom “Bads” Beth, Dennis “Satch” Lumley, Sam “Finney” Perry, Steve “Beaver” Griffith, Dave “Smiley” Johnson and Gary “Juice” Andreucci. You would be hard pressed to find a stronger list of sobriquets for softball players.

The next group is the “head-scratchers”. These include the names that are just tough to figure. Take for example, Fred “Wally” Altergott , Ron “Nosh” Rossa, Kim “Roy” Myers, Jeff “Herman” Clark, Mark “Bwana” Issets and Ron “Mort” Zeith.

Certainly there must be a good reason for christening these players with these monikers. If you happen to know the story behind any of these, I would be glad to hear it.

For every hard-to-figure nickname there are those that are so popular that at least two players are attached to them. First are the “Docs” - Dennis Kalberg, Chuck Lange and Jim Nehls. Next are the “Rocks” or “Rockys” - Glenn Evenson, Domenic Tirabassi III, Dave Roehl, Rocky Witzman and Rock Jurvis. After that, there are a couple of “Cats”, Jeff Kaeppler and Russ Guerra. Finally we have two “Goons”, Mike Matuzek and Brian McGonegle.

Before I reveal my all-time list of great softball nicknames, here is my honorable mention list - John “Chops” Goodwin, Ron “Pig Pen” Greb, Tom “Buzz” Pinzger, Chris “Swammy” Wade, Rick “Cardo” Bloomquist, Kurt “Cooter” Sinclair, Jim “Downtown” Brown, Dennis “Tura” Lura, Chuck “Chooch” Portillia and Jeremy “Whammer” Kalbfell.

Here is my Top 10 list, in no particular order.

* Bruce “Hollywood” Meyers
* Gary “The Wizard” Peterson
* Danny “Love” McGonegle
* Larry “Laredo” Weiss
* Randy “Ducky” Aulwes
* Mike “Itchy” Griedanus
* Jon “Atomic Dog” Naumann
* Tom “Boom Boom” Keating
* Gary “Speed” Paskewicz
* Kris “Nightmare” Ray

To be sure, there are nicknames that were not mentioned in this column. Any of you Kenosha softball types are welcome to let me know whom I left out. Oh, by the way, thanks Harry, Arno and Ryan for that Puddles thing. Until next time…from the booth.