Survivor Is Baaaack!

Last week I had Survivor: Nicaragua on its last leg. It had become mundane and predictable. Most of the competitors were proving to be stupid. Plus, once again there was only one challenge, combining Reward and Immunity. Well, all of that changed tonight; except for the part of most of them being stupid. There were twists and two separate challenges. Survivor Is Baaaack!

Day twelve started with Old Fart Marty declaring himself the king of Survivor. He went so far as to say that unless something “out of this world” happens he has everything under control for the perceivable future.

Meanwhile, Young Snot Nay was doing the same at her camp, feeling very good about herself. She proclaimed that her alliance controlled the game of Survivor; that nothing could stop them.

You stupid idiots! (said in my best Ren voice)

Five minutes into the show Jeff Probst had the tribes on the beach for a Reward Challenge. Marty and Nay were feeling pretty cocky when Probst unexpectedly announced, “Drop your buffs.” The Tribes were being realigned!

Nay’s mouth fell open in amazement as she relinquished her buff. Along with his buff, Marty dropped something else into his depends.

Because of the realignment, I will have to go back to calling the tribes by their given names, La Flor and Espada. Here is what the tribes look like after the shakeup:

La Flor
Brenda (young)
Jane (old)
Jill (old)
Marty (old)
Sash (young)
Fabio (young)
Kelly B. (young)
Kelly S. (young)

Espada
Holly (old)
Alina (young)
Chase (young)
Nay (young)
Dan (old)
Yve (old)
Tyrone (old)
Benry (young)

Fittingly, Marty blows the Reward Challenge for his new tribe and Espada wins a chicken coop complete with three chickens.

As the members of the newly formed tribes got to know each other, we learned several things:

• Nay isn’t as much of a bad ass as she would like people to believe.

• Marty is an arrogant jackass no matter what tribe he is on.

• Fabio knows he isn’t bright, telling Marty, “We’re young, we don’t know much.”

• Alina thinks that Nay acts like a high school girl who’s always on her period.

• Young people don’t like to be told what to do, even when it makes sense.

The Immunity Challenge was pretty cool. Three ladies from each tribe were strapped upside down to a giant. Three other members of their respective tribes spun the giant wheel so they were momentarily submerged in some dirty pond water.

When submerged they had a take a big gulp of the filthy water and spit it into a bowl as they were spun to the top. When enough of the foul water was accumulated a ball was released that was used to break tiles. I told you it was cool.

La Flor emerged victorious in a real nail-biter and Espada is forced to eliminate another one of it’s own. I guess that’s another thing that hasn’t changed.

At Tribal Council Espada proves that they can be stupid even with young people on their tribe. Rather than voting off Nay the phony Angry Black Woman or gimpy Danny the Paulie Walnuts wannabe, they send the athletic Tyrone packing.

Survivor: Nicaragua staged a strong comeback this week. There was a major shakeup and we got to enjoy two quality challenges. We still have way too many unintelligent people, but what can you do. Survivor Is Baaaack! (at least for the time being)

Until next time…from the booth.