WARNING! Merging Morons!

Tonight was the eighth episode of the 21st season of Survivor and it was day 19 in Nicaragua. The show immediately started with both tribes receiving tree mail. La Flor received a key and was told to gather their belongings and make their way over to the Espada camp. When they got there, the Espada tribe and a huge treasure chest greeted them. Everyone was giddy, knowing that the long awaited merge was finally here.

The chest was opened, revealing a feast that included salami, bread, fresh fruit, flour and other many other items to cook with. It also contained bright red buffs for the newly formed tribe. All that was left was to decide upon a new name.

Marty quickly came up with “Libertad” and said that it meant liberty. When Fabio said, “Cool!” it was official. Libertad was the name of the new tribe. Then the fun began.

Remember I said that the treasure chest was chock full of cooking items? Well, the nefarious Nay opted to steal the flour, a frying plan and a bunch of fruit.

When she was noshing on a juicy piece of fruit, she declared, “It tastes better when you’re stealing it!” I guess you can take the girl out of the ghetto but you can’t take the ghetto out of the girl.

The challenge tonight was for dual Individual Immunity – one for the ladies and another for the guys. The challenge consisted of holding up a steel rod using two strange looking handles. The two winners came as a bit of a surprise to me.

The ladies Immunity went to the cantankerous Jane, while the slightly fried Fabio garnered the prize for the guys. They were both safe from being voted out at Tribal Council.

The only question left was which one of the ten remaining morons would get voted off and become the first member of the jury.

Okay, we know it couldn’t be Jane or Fabio.

Benry, Purple Kelly, Holly and Chase hadn’t been very obnoxious lately, so they should see another week. Besides, we must remember that Chase still has the “lunch box” factor going for him.

Brenda and Sash are calling the shots, so barring a humongous blind side; they will continue to call Nicaragua home for the foreseeable future.

For some inexplicable reason, Dan is still around. Don’t ask me how or why. In the Immunity Challenge he held the steel rod up for an amazing three seconds. Yet he wasn’t being considered for elimination. He must have compromising pictures of producer Mark Burnett.

Although Nay is a foul-mouthed, mean-spirited, thieving scumbag, she has an alliance with Brenda. So the dirty rotten snake was safe. I have to admit, she does make for good television.

That leaves Marty and Alina. Nobody seems to like either one of these people, so it was anyone’s guess who the morons would choose. Despite Marty developing a bad case of diarrhea of the mouth at Tribal Council, Alina is the one chosen to leave Nicaragua.

I told you these people are morons. It’s as if they have never seen Survivor before.

A few parting observations:

The quote of the night was Purple Kelly saying, “We need to get all the girls together…and Sash, to vote off Marty.” There was need for her to say “and Sash”. We knew what she meant.

The creepiest moment of the night was after the Immunity Challenge. As soon as the Individual Immunity necklaces were awarded, Jane immediately jumped onto a shocked Fabio, wrapping her legs around his midsection, vigorously dry humping him.

That sealed the deal for me. I finally have someone to root for – Fabio. The likeable lug is starting to grow on me. Even though he has an occasional burner moment, there is an adorable naiveté about him. And anyone who can take crusty old Jane grinding all over him is a true Survivor!

Until next time…from the booth.