Dude!

At 10:18 last night, Survivor: Nicaragua was quietly put to bed. And this is a good thing. Not that this was a horrible season, but if you have read my Survivor blogs with any regularity, you know that I had a hard time trying to wrap my head around it. It was difficult finding anyone to root for and when I finally did, they would do something to change my mind. It has been a veritable roller-coaster ride that started over three months ago, back on September 15. At least the finale gave me cause to shout YES! on several different occasions.

The first time was when Fabio came from way behind in the first Immunity Challenge to win. The Jeff Spicoli look-alike solved his puzzle, narrowly beating Sash while Holly, Chase and Dan were left scratching their heads. Dude!

Once again I went from believing Fabio wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer to thinking he just might be a little smarter than he lets on. He was now one step closer to making it to the final Tribal Council. Again, Dude!

The result of the first Tribal Council came as a bit of a relief when Dan was finally eliminated from contention. This was a long time coming. How he made it this far was beyond me. It was amazing how bitter he was after being voted off.

Now that the final four of Sash, Chase, Holly and Fabio was set, we were subjected to the painfully boring memorial ceremony. This is where the remaining four competitors pay “homage” to the those that were eliminated before them. They are forced to say something positive about even the most forgettable characters.

In the order they were eliminated, here are those names: Wendy Jo, Shannon, Jimmy Johnson, Jimmy T., Tyrone, Kelly B., Yve, Alina, Marty, Brenda, Nay, Purple Kelly, Benry, Jane and Dan.

I have long felt that the time wasted on this “right of passage” garbage could be better spent if it was added to the reunion show. But that’s just me.

The final Immunity Challenge is a good one. The contestants must balance a large sword tip down with one hand and with the other, stack coins on the butt end of the handle. Keep in mind that these were not normal coins. They were uneven, misshaped and made specifically for the challenge.

Holly and Chase were the first to have their pile of coins topple, once again leaving Sash and Fabio to battle for the guarantee of making it to the final Tribal Council. They went on for quite a while, with host Jeff Probst’s comments adding to the drama.

Finally, Sash’s considerable tower of coins fell and Fabio was victorious yet again. He was in the finals YES, Dude!

Back at camp, the alliance of Sash, Holly and Chase were scrambling. Now that Fabio had Immunity, they were being forced to eat one of their own. All three were freaking out as they attempted to get Fabio vote off one of the others.

It was particularly amusing watching Fabio smirk and giggle as the slimy Sash kissed up to him. He knew Sash was lying through his amazingly white teeth and couldn’t keep a straight face. He had him figured out from the beginning. Again, Dude!

At Tribal Council, it was the matronly Holly that was voted off, leaving an all male final. It appeared that Fabio made a wise choice going with Sash and Chase because Holly hadn’t done much to piss off anyone on the jury. She could have been the favorite to win the million dollars as the Sole Survivor.

The next order of business was the impassioned Final Tribal Council. After hearing Sash’s opening statement, I vowed not to watch season 22 if he won. He was so full of himself!

Several things were established with the questioning of the jury.

Brenda, being the dominating diva that she is, made Sash apologize to her. She then made him argue with Chase. I see being a dominatrix in the future of the former Miami Dolphin cheerleader.

Marty didn’t think much of Chase, calling him dumb. Very dumb. He didn’t seem to have a problem with the other two.

Holly, in keeping with her “Mom” persona, congratulated all three competitors. I think she would have given them all a great big hug if they would have let her.

Jane told Sash that his mother should be proud that she raised a New York City river rat and that he should slither back to New York. She told her North Carolina homeboy, Chase that she was mad at him, but would somehow find it in her heart to forgive him. For some inexplicable reason, Fabio blurted out that he wants to take care of his folks. Righteous, Dude!

Benry had nothing for Fabio or Chase, he focused on telling Sash how transparent he was. It was quite evident that Benry was none too fond of Sash.

Dan spewed venom at both Sash and Chase. He called Sash a liar and basically expressed that he hated him. He then told Chase that he was dumb. Hmm, heard that before.

Purple Kelly, one of the quitters, asked a forgettable, dumb question and seemed quite proud of it. All it did for me was reinforce what a dimwit she was.

Nay, the second quitter, asked Fabio if seeing his mother during one of the Reward Challenges gave him the energy needed to make it to the finals. He said of course it did and starting crying. Then Nay and everyone else started crying. Then I cried. Dude!

Alina said she didn’t want to give the million dollars to Fabio because he’s only 21, she wanted to “give it to a man.” After a few minutes, it became clear that she wanted to give more than the million dollars to Chase.

After the deliberation, it was time to vote. It was obvious to me that it would come down to Chase and Fabio, Sash didn’t have a chance. I was pretty sure I would be able to watch season 22.

In typical Jeff Probes fashion, the reading of the votes was quite climatic. After the first six votes, Chase led 4 to 2, it wasn’t looking good for Fabio. Fortunately, the next two votes went his way, tying it up at four with one vote left to be read.

After a dramatic pause, Probes announced the winner of Survivor: Nicaragua. I shouted out YES! a final time. 21-year-old Jud "Fabio" Birza was the Sole Survivor and recipient of $1,000,000. Dude!

All that was left was the reunion show. Here are some highlights:

In the “Cleans up well” category – Sash, Brenda, Holly and Marty. Did I mention Holly? Holly cleaned up real well.

In the “Not so much” category – Jane, Dan and Nay. Dan reminded me of Frank Sinatra at the end of a particularly draining concert. I can’t begin to describe what Nay was wearing.

Fabio’s dad looks like Ned Beatty.

Former Survivors in attendance: Coach Wade, Rupert, Cirie and Boston Rob.

Chase has more talent than just an ample “lunch box”. He is an aspiring country-western singer and sang a song. Although I am not a fan of the genre, he wasn’t bad.

Jane’s intensive daily training paid off when she won the Sprint Player of the Season award and $100,000. I still think that she’s a crazy old broad.

We learned that Survivor saved Jimmy Johnson’s life. A physical exam he took when trying to get on the show a few seasons ago showed he had 2 blocked arteries. He got healthy and made it to Survivor: Nicaragua. Then Terry Bradshaw showed up. Enough said.

We also learned that some parents of the children that Nay teaches called in to request that she be removed. I guess the people of Los Angeles deserve some credit, after all.

After Nay spoke, Probst announced that because of Nay and fellow quitter, Purple Kelly, there will be a rules change. From this point on, if someone quits the show, the staff of Survivor will decide if you will be on the jury or not. YES! Oops, there was one more, I guess.

And finally, a few tidbits about the victorious Fabio. He said that people have been asking his mom why she had named him Fabio. He also admitted that he has been crazy for a while.

When asked where his “way of thinking” came from, he revealed that both of his parents are artists and all of his family is creative. In fact, his great-grandfather invented the folding legs that are used on Samsonite card tables. He went on to say that his grandmother invented the Color Wheel. Hmm…

Now, that season 21 has been put to bed, February 16 is the date that all Fellow Survivor Geeks have marked on their calendars. That is when Survivor: Redemption Island premiers! Until next time…from the booth. Dude!