Christmas Eve At Koos?

On Wednesday December 24, 1975, 6:00 AM came much too early. Besides being ungodly cold, it was Christmas Eve and I was sitting on a picnic table in the filthy Jap Shack at Koos Inc. Something was wrong with this picture.

Let me recap for you. It was way too early. It was bitter cold and I was working in an old and decrepit building with no heat. And most importantly, it was Christmas Eve morning. Yikes, how was I supposed to handle spending Christmas Eve at Koos?

The solution was simple. Drink alcohol.

Before you get the impression that I was some sort of juvenile delinquent with a drinking problem, please keep two things in mind. First of all, in 1975 it was legal to consume alcohol at the age of 18 in the state of Wisconsin. Secondly, isn’t it traditional to celebrate Christmas Eve by having a party featuring adult beverages? See, it makes perfect sense.

There was only one small detail. I was at work.

Admittedly, drinking while at work isn’t the brightest thing to do. Okay, it’s a pretty idiotic thing to do, but I wasn’t alone in this stupidity. It was actually a plant wide event that was planned the night before at Slim’s Tap after a city league basketball game. Everyone was instructed to bring their favorite spirits.

Hey, I was young and impressionable and everyone was doing it. Honest. Well, almost everyone.

On that particular Christmas Eve, everyone in the plant at 4500 13th Court was consuming alcohol; even the supervisors. Everyone, that is, but the iconic Arno Schubert. It seems the crusty old Kraut had picked the holidays to go on the wagon. Who would have guessed?

After punching in, the group of us trudged across the ice-covered yard armed with brown paper bags that concealed every type of booze imaginable. Beer, wine, whiskey… You name it, we had it. My contribution to the party was my favorite flavor of beer – Pabst Blue Ribbon.

At first we tried to be discrete around the bosses, we weren’t quite sure how they would react to us drinking on the job. We were afraid of potential repercussions. Those fears quickly disappeared when bagging supervisor Russell Thompson offered us a hit off of the bottle of Wild Turkey he pulled out of his coveralls.

The party was on.

Eventually all of the liquor we smuggled into the plant was consumed. That however didn’t stop the crew at Koos. We simply passed the hat and sent Sven Sievert over the railroad tracks to the Beer Depot on Sheridan Road for pints of blackberry brandy. When those were polished off, the process was repeated. Sort of like shampooing your hair.

Over and over again…

Ultimately the intoxicating refreshment took its toll on the employees. Forklifts were traveling a little slower and production began to sputter. The only one who wanted to work was the tee-totaling Arno. But as drunk as we were, nobody really was paying any attention to the foul-mouthed German.

At one point, Harry Leipzig turned to me and announced that he was going to the Jap Shack to take a piss. He never returned. Later he was discovered passed out on a picnic table. Without Harry, Line 3 needed someone to seal bags. Munk Ekern graciously volunteered to help out to keep production going.

Regrettably, the result of the gallant gesture was less than spectacular because Munk never actually sealed any bags. You see, I was the bagger and looking back, the whole scene was somewhat comical. The conversation went something like this:

Drunk Puddles (me): “Okay Munk, here they come.”
Drunker Munk: “Wait Puddles, you seal.”
Drunk Puddles: “Okay, but who’s gonna run the bagger?”
Drunker Munk: “You are.”
Drunk Puddles: “Okay, then who’s gonna seal?”
Drunker Munk: “You are, Puddles.”

That nonsensical exchange went on for about five minutes. Eventually, Munk would stumble off to join Harry in the Jap Shack. Did Line 3 ever start up again on that drunken Christmas Eve at Koos? I honestly don’t remember. Things were kind of fuzzy at that point.

Before you knew it, it was almost noon and the second shift crew was arriving to a plant full of intoxicated first-shifters. There were guys spread out all over the plant, a small number were standing, others were sitting and a few were laying down. But nobody was working.

Not even Arno. By this time he had given up hope of getting anything accomplished. He was just standing against the wall fuming with his arms folded across his chest and a crooked frown on his face. He was so upset he wasn’t even cursing anymore.

When the clock finally hit noon, we wobbled out of the plant and went home, having spent Christmas Eve at Koos. Remarkably, the alcohol impaired six-hour shift ended without incident. Although not much work got done, no one got in trouble or was hurt. Everyone was fine.

Until the following Monday.

Despite the supervisors being cool with our impromptu Christmas Eve party, plant manager Frank Niebling was not. No one was quite sure how he found out, but he did. And he was furious.

Determined to show us that this type of behavior was not acceptable, he called our union steward, Danny Fliess into his office. He immediately told Danny that he was going to make an example of him and proceeded to suspend him for a week with no pay.

When Danny objected and tried to plead his case, Frank exploded. Pointing a finger in the startled union steward’s face, he blurted out, “Don’t think for a minute that you guys can get away with this shit just because I wasn’t here!” Unwisely, Danny explained that nobody know he wasn’t there on Christmas Eve.

Just like that his suspension became 2 weeks without play.

I hope you enjoyed this Koos Inc. masterpiece. Each time I read one of these classics, memories are sparked. Ugly, horrible, twisted memories. Working at Koos Inc. with people like Arno Schubert will do that to you.

Please have fun at your Christmas Eve parties and be thankful that you’re not at Koos working. Merry Christmas to all. Until next time…from the booth.

Survivor Finale and Reunion

Mary Beth’s 2Cents: So, let's commence and put this stinker out of it's/our misery. Have you heard? I am not a fan of this season of Survivor. Just as I was getting ready to watch TV tonight a commercial came on for tonight's episode. As it showed scenes from shows past the words “Jaw Dropping Season” were emblazoned on my screen.

Jaw dropping? Really?

For me the words “eye lid drooping” and “snore inducing” come to mind. So much so that even while I'm watching I find my mind wanders and I end up missing large chunks of dialogue. Anyway, here's the recap…try to stay awake!

Monica rejoices as she realizes she is now the swing vote and that puts her in a position of power for the first time since she laid foot on the island. Not that she'll actually do anything with that power but more about that later.

Hayden is sent off to Redemption Island. At the Redemption Challenge, it is, as Hayden says, him “against two grandmas”. I find that kind of ageism rude and it was certain to bite him right in the ass, which it did.

The challenge was one of balancing on one leg while keeping an urn on a pedestal. The grannies kicked Hayden's butt and he was the first one gone. Laura M. begged Tina to give it to her but Tina refused and held on to the end. She got to go back to the game while Laura followed Hayden to the jury. Laura M. and Ciera have a very dramatic heart felt good-bye and Tina opts to keep the Immunity Idol clue for herself.

Back at camp, Tina and Ciera begin to work on Monica right away and try to convince her to go with them leaving Monica very confused. At the Immunity Challenge, it's another balancing act. This time they have to hold onto to a rope keeping a table balanced as they stack blocks. Tyson wins the Idol, though he doesn't really need it.

Later, Monica takes a load of crap from Gervase who always reverts to bullying which seems to be his way to play the game. Monica cries. This is the first of three or four times tonight when she cried. Sheesh!

At Tribal Council, it's Ciera and Tina vs. Tyson, Gervase and Monica. Try as they might, the votes are cast. Tyson gives Gervase his hidden immunity idol and Ciera ends up getting voted off. And so the final four are – Tina, Monica, Tyson and Gervase.

The final Immunity Challenge is a huge thing with an obstacle balance thing to cross to get bags of letters. They have to run up a huge flight of stairs and then hurl themselves down a water slide to start all over.

In the end, Tyson wins. Man, I hate him! He's definitely in the final three. At Tribal, there's just nothing anyone can say and Tina is just sent limping off. So there they are – the Final Three – Tyson, Gervase and Monica. Each one more weaselly than the next and not one of them actually deserving of winning the million dollars. Sheesh!

Vag’s Evaluation: The jury for the Final Tribal Council consisted of: Aras, Vytas, Caleb, Katie, Hayden, Laura, Ciera and Tina. For me, this was the last hope to redeem this pitiful season. Hopefully, there would be some Sue Hawk-like vitriol shown toward the three finalists, Tyson, Monica and Gervase. I wanted to see this loathsome trio squirm a bit.

Alas, I was once again disappointed.

The opening statements from the three set the tone for this snoozefest. First, Gervase blathered about going from old school to new school. Then Monica whined about not being a lap dog. At least she didn’t cry. BUT TYSON DID! It was something about doing it for his girlfriend. Blah, blah, blah…

Now it was time for the jurors to interrogate these three dolts.

Vytas – After complimenting Tyson, he then told him he could never vote for him and would have to decide between Monica and Gervase. Huh?

Katie – Congratulated the group and then basically told Tyson that he was a prick. At least one castaway was observant.

Caleb – Asked Gervase what his big move was, to which Gervase replied, “Voting out your brother, Aras.” Nice. Then Monica started blubbering. I’m not sure why. Perhaps it is from hanging around Tyson too much.

Ciera – Asked Tyson if he was a hero or a villain. He surmised that since he didn’t consider himself a villain, he must be a hero. Okay. She asked Gervase if he ever considered voting out Tyson. His answer? Not really. At least nobody cried during this “tough” line of questioning.

Laura – All right, back to the crying. All it took was Monica being asked why she didn't revealed more about herself to the other castaways. This set off more weeping. Kleenex® could have made a bundle sponsoring the Final Tribal Council.

Tina – The diminutive one asked the three finalists to describe their inner core in one word. Monica said “generous”, Gervase came up with “honorable” and Tyson replied “fun-loving.” What this proved is beyond me. Maybe that Tyson cheated by using a compound word

Hayden – After asking Tyson where he hid his Hidden Immunity Idol, he told Monica that she was a fake. You’ll never guess what happened next. That’s right!!! She started sobbing. Again. And again. And again…

Aras – His question was whom would you vote for if you couldn’t vote for yourself? Gervase said Tyson because he had so many elements to his game. Monica agreed that it was Tyson, because he was such a force in the game. Tyson then chose Monica and blew some smoke up her ass. I guess he didn’t want to see any more tears.

All that was left was the Final Vote…

Dr. J’s Prognosis: It is my privilege to recap what my FSGP (Fellow Survivor Geek Paul) claims is his last season of blogging about Survivor. I was recently knighted a “Snarkess” by one Patty 4-Names and I shall wear that cloak with honor. But first I want to say without any snarkishness that I was saddened about the announcement that several weeks ago contestant Tina lost her son in a car accident. My thoughts are with her and her daughter.

So here is what I have to say about this season. It was not my favorite. I have nodded my head in agreement with Paul and Mary Beth each week as they have tried to put as much positive spin on the show as possible. The problem was not only design but also casting. I don’t know about ya’ll but I don’t want to see loved ones pitted against each other. Life is tough enough, who wants to watch that?

I also think that the casting sucked. Enough with the rehashing of fan favorites blah, blah, blah! Give us some new people! Make it hard again. Starve these people! Make them work for it!!!!! That is why we watch this damn show!

In seasons past I have been bestowed with the duty of describing the moment when Jeff Probst makes his panther like entrance into the reunion show. I have made no secret of the fact that I lust after him in a perfectly normal suburban married housewife type of way. I just wish he would go back to the days when he would pretend like he was parachuting in directly from tribal council I LOVED that!!! Sigh…

With pretend anticipation he read the names. Of course no one voted for Gervase because he was annoying. Monica did get a vote even though she was annoying and then the MOST annoying guy Tyson, sporting one of those fake tuxedo shirts with pit stains, won it all.

I wasn’t surprised and to be honest he actually played a good game. I just don’t care for him. But yeah for you funky Tyson! You finally won. Now go away and never return.

Part of my problem with this season is that I tried to stick with it and it made me feel bipolar.

I started to like hairy Colton boyfriend and then he got voted off and then I started to like blond daughter of Tina and she got voted off and then I started to like hunky boyfriend of Kat and he got voted off and then I admired that Laura was kicking some ass on Redemption Island so I started to like her and she got voted off and then I started to respect Ciera because she was kind of defiant and playing her game against the odds and then she got voted off.

So in the end I was left with nothing. I’m sorry Monica Culpepper, you just seem bitchy to me and your husband seems like a dufus (his entire career in the NFL he only had like 34 sacks I think in 9 years he should have done better… PS do you guys know that guy is a LAWYER??)  Save your crocodile tears for someone who cares, Monica Culpepper!

A message to Colton, who tried to mock the AARP during the Reunion Show; “Hey dude I BELONG to that group now and not only did I get a free tote for joining but I also get discounts on lawyer fees, so stay out of Wisconsin”.

And since I’m feeling so cranky; “Hey Rupert, take off the tie die and put on some man panties!  You could have stayed on and won!!” Ughhhhhhh!!!! 

Thankfully a happy moment appeared in the form of my man Cochran. It seems that my fan fave has ditched Harvard law school and gone into sitcom writing, a much more secure career path I think! Go Cochran!!!!!!

Of course at the end of the show we had to be teased with the next seasons amazing twists and they just kept showing all of these “B”’s floating across the screen.

I HATE that!

What does that mean? Boobs? Bugs? Boys? Eventually it was revealed that it means Brains, Brawn and some other word that starts with B (Not boobs, Paul, I’m sorry). All I can say is I hope the damn show is better. And I also hope that if he takes a season off to rest and revive that my good friend Paul Vagnoni reconsiders about his Survivor blogging. I for one will miss it!

One last Vag’s Evaluation: Thanks for the kind words, Jamie. And more thanks for jumping on board for the final recap, thus making it a true trilogy. I would also like to express my gratitude to Mary Beth for enduring this entire gut-wrenching season with me. I know it wasn’t easy. As she would say… Sheesh!

Until next time…from the booth.

A Koos Christmas Story

On a bitter cold Saturday night, late December in 1976, the men of Koos Inc. gathered in the backroom of Mario’s Red Arrow Club on Sheridan Road in Kenosha. The reason for this get-together was a Union Christmas party. UFCW Local 73A was good enough to sponsor the much-appreciated gathering for the workforce from Koos. This night was going to be an event to be remembered. This celebration would be a first. 

Never before had the Union workers at Koos Inc. had an official Christmas function and tonight that would all change.



The year before, not only was there no party, the employees had to work until 11:00 o’clock on Christmas Eve morning. Of course the beer that was smuggled into the plant created a somewhat cheerful atmosphere, but it still wasn’t a party. Not even the numerous pints of blackberry brandy purchased from the nearby Beer Depot could do the trick. It just wasn’t a party.



The people in management always had a nice little soiree each year, but nothing for the guys in the Union. This year was going to be different. The guys in the plant were finally going to have a bash of their very own.



And what a bash it was!



The backroom at Mario’s Red Arrow Club was dimly lit, long and narrow, with a chest-high wall at one end that separated a small kitchen from the rest of the hall. This might have been the back of a smoke-filled neighborhood bar, but it was perfect for this inaugural event.



The good people from UFCW had provided the guys from Koos with enough money for the hall, food, a keg of beer and a couple of bottles of hard liquor. Several of the guys had even brought festive holiday deserts. What more was needed? Let the party begin!



Because we were new to this Christmas party thing, most of us had neglected to bring a date. What did we know? The only females present for the event were Ziggy Gutowski’s wife and the aunt of Danny Fliess who brought her two daughters. Other than that the guest list was strictly male.



It was still going to be quite a shindig, trust me.



While the sloppy joes warmed in the crock-pot and the hot dogs simmered in a large pot of boiling water, we decided to start playing cards. As Ted Nugent blared through the speakers hung on the walls, the collection of partygoers broke into two separate games of cards, one at each end of the room.



Located at the east end was a boisterous group of Koos veterans, consisting of Danny Fliess, the legendary Arno Schubert, Jim Weber, Munk Ekern, Harry Leipzig, along with several others. They were playing poker for cash and the shots of Wild Turkey were flying. 



Joining me at the other end of the hall, near the kitchen area, were Chuckie Haubrich, Chuck Huck and some of the newer employees. Rather than gamble, we had opted to play drinking games where the loser had to guzzle a beer. The card playing was sloppy, but the suds were cold.



The party was in full swing and everyone was having a high-spirited time. That is until our group spotted a humongous can of black olives.

As we were attempting to get the can of olives open, the group from the east end informed us that they wanted some of the olives. The diminutive Chuck Huck put a handful on a paper plate and brought it over to them.



Evidently this was not good enough. They wanted more. Much more.



Several members of their contingent made their way over to our table and demanded the whole can of olives. We would have no part of that and we all grabbed a big handful and told them that they were all ours!



Seeing that we were not giving up the olives peacefully, the “east-enders” grabbed the can and made off with it and the remaining olives in it. We were outraged and shouted, “You want all the olives?” With that the war was on. Olives were flying from one end of the hall to the other.



Unfortunately, the airborne olives were only the beginning. Soon cups of beer were being flung across the room. Being near the kitchen area, our group decided to escalate the battle. We kicked it up a notch. Using cooking tongs, we began plucking hot dogs from the boiling water and used them as projectiles in our efforts during this now epic battle. The frankfurters were flying!

This insane melee resembled a scene from a Three Stooges film. At this point it was pure chaos.



Then something happened that momentarily brought the frantic food fight to an abrupt stop. For some unknown reason, Chuckie Haubrich grabbed a big handful of raw ground beef, wadded into a lump the size of a baseball and hurled it across the hall at Arno Schubert’s oddly shaped head.



Before I go on, for those of you who don’t know Chuckie Haubrich, he possessed an extremely strong throwing arm. The man could throw a ping-pong ball through a brick wall.



Now back to the story.



Splat!!!! The sphere of uncooked ground beef had found its’ target – the right side of Arno’s scarred face. Chuckie Haubrich would have made Nolan Ryan proud with that toss.



Seeing what happened, we started chuckling as Arno staggered while trying to regain his bearings. It didn’t take long before everyone in the room was roaring with laughter. Well, everyone except for Arno.



With the glob of raw meat still stuck on his face, he picked up a pan up of orange Jell-O topped with whipped cream. Fuming, with the desert held at shoulder height, he unsteadily made his way over to our end of the room.



As he got closer, he spat out, “You think it’s funny?” Everyone continued to snicker, wondering if he would actually retaliate against Chuckie Haubrich. After all, he was the one who had tattooed him with the beefy missile. When he finally reached our cluster, Arno walked right by the 6’4” 250 pound Haubrich.



Instead, he turned to the 5’7” 150 pound Chuck Huck and hissed yet again, “You think it’s funny?” At that point you could have heard a pin drop.

Huck stared the irate German right in the eye and blurted out, “Hell ya it’s funny!”



You guessed it. Chuck Huck was now wearing the pan of orange Jell-O and whipped cream all over his head. Needless to say, the war was on again. Only, now cakes and various other creamy delights had been added to the arsenal.



When all was said and done, the backroom of Mario’s Red Arrow Club was declared a disaster area. Food was not only on the walls and floor, but on the ceiling as well. As we scraped our holiday meal off of our clothes, the manager of Mario’s kindly asked us to leave. Okay, maybe it wasn’t so kindly. He told us to get out and never come back.

We did just that. We made our way over to the King’s Den; where the party continued. The details from that point on are hazy. I do remember that at one point, Arno was wearing a Santa Claus suit. Or was it Huck? I’m not sure. Yours truly had consumed far too many Pabst Blue Ribbons for such details.



It should be noted that the Union didn’t get the deposit back for the hall. And there was never another UFCW sponsored Christmas party. That Christmas party was the first and last for the Union guys at Koos. It was the only Christmas Party. Ever.


But what a bash it was!

May you all have a Happy Holiday season and a very Merry and Blessed Christmas. 

Until next time…from the booth.

Survivor 27.13

Mary Beth’s 2Cents: After Ciera's somewhat bold move last week, I have to admit, I was kind of looking forward to seeing the aftermath on tonight's episode. Granted her bold move really didn't work since it sent Katie to Redemption Island, but it was a bold move and, at least, finally, someone was making a move. Ciera has turned out to be something of a surprise really.

Who'd a thunk she'd be good a strategy? Not me, that's for sure. I still don't like her or anyone left on this season for that matter but, hey, she's thinking ahead and that makes for good TV sometimes.

Monica, of course, can't stop herself from over talking everything. This fact is not lost on Tyson who get really irritated when she does this. Over at Redemption, Tina aka Skeletor is now pitted against the Machine, aka Laura M., and her daughter Katie. She briefly talks of throwing the challenge to give Katie a chance but during the challenge she stomps all over her.

The challenge is the one where they tie together sticks to make a longer stick to get sets of keys through a fence. Then they open three locks to win. Laura M. makes easy peasy of this challenge, whizzing past both Tina and Katie quickly. Katie can't tie a knot to save her soul so Tina flies past her, sobbing all the way. Apparently it hurts her to beat her daughter but she would have had to lie down and fallen asleep to give Katie a chance. Katie was just that bad!!

The rest of the episode might as well be called “Everyone Wants Monica!” Tyson and Gervase shuffle to confirm Monica's loyalty to their alliance. Ciera and Hayden hatch a plan to get her to come to the “good side.” In the meantime, Ciera wins a much-needed Immunity Challenge and they get to share…what else…FOOD! Later, Ciera tells Monica just how yucky Tyson and Gervase have really been when talking about her. Monica cries. Really.

At Tribal, Ciera and Hayden do their level best to get Monica to see the error of her ways with Tyson and Gervase. They reiterate that Ty-Ty and the Gerv have been talking smack about her from Day 1. Thing is, neither of them deny it! Monica seems almost convinced but she votes off Hayden anyway.

Now this is either really smart or really stupid. If she is in the final two against Tyson, the jury could see her as a hanger-on and realize Tyson was the mastermind and give him their votes. OR…the jury could just hate Tyson enough to give Monica the votes just because the hate him. Honestly though, she's not making the final 2 if she keeps playing this dumb ass way! Frankly, I hope Laura M. returns and she and Ciera take the whole thing. Now that would be a great ending to a pathetic season!

Vag’s Evaluation: Okay. Here’s the deal. A couple of weeks ago I had more or less decided that this would be my last season of doing the Survivor recaps. That was based primarily on how crappy this season was. Writing the recap had become a chore and I no longer looked forward to it. It wasn’t fun anymore and the season sucking was a major reason.

But then I began to think. Do I really want to stop after eleven seasons? I could see ten or twelve, but eleven? Who stops at eleven? Not even bowlers! I seriously considered giving it one more shot next season. That would be an even dozen. What the heck did I have to lose? Hmm… What to do?

Well, tonight’s magnificently crapalicious episode answered that question for me!

THIS IS IT!

Sunday’s Finale and Reunion Show will be my swan song. Sayonara. Cie la vie.

So, as I listen to Christmas music blasting through my Koss® headphones I write my penultimate Survivor recap. Wow, this is sorta melancholy. Typically I fill an entire page with notes while watching an episode of Survivor. Tonight I scribbled out 10 lines worth. Barely.

What the heck was I supposed to write about?

The first 22 minutes of the show were dedicated to that bullshit Redemption Island. The “duel” between Tina, Laura and Katie was an old retread that I have seen at least a dozen times. Then Probst tries to make the idiotic Blood vs. water twist work by making the dopey castaways cry. And Tina did! Oh the humanity!

One last thing on the subject of Redemption Island. Someone has to inform the producers of the correct definition of “duel.” A duel is a contest or race between TWO parties. Not three. Dopes.

After nine more minutes we were treated to Ciera and Hayden woofing down pizza, hamburgers and fries following Ciera’s victory in the Immunity Challenge. Zzzzz…

The remaining portion of the hour was devoted to making us believe there was a snowball’s chance in hell that Monica would flip and vote out Tyson. BUT WE ALL KNEW THAT WASN’T GOING TO HAPPEN!

Sheesh.

To be totally honest with you, I did draw one bit of enjoyment from tonight’s show. It was when the jury was introduced at Tribal Council. When the freshly scrubbed Katie strolled in, Hayden’s eyes bugged out of his head and his tongue fell out of his mouth while uttering, “She’s hot!”

That’s it for me. One last time after Sunday’s shows. Until next time…from the booth.

Survivor 27.12

Mary Beth’s 2Cents: Hey! Let's all beat up Tyson! Let's all beat up Tyson! Let's all beat up Tyyyysooon!!! And so says all of us!! Yes, it did my heart good to see ol' Hayden start the show off by pointing out how Tyson is leading the rest of them all around like so many sheep. The look on Tyson's face was priceless but the best part was that Gervase couldn't stand to have anyone think he was only the “second” in command so he stood up and threw himself under the bus! If only it didn't take 32 days to get these people fired up!

The beat down continued at Redemption Island with the recently blindsided alluding to a man's word not meaning much in Utah or Philly – where Tyson and Gervase are from. Gervase got the last word, albeit a whiny baby-headed one, when he stood up and whined that Caleb was just being “a bad sore loser!!!”

Hayden pretty much spent the entire episode trying to get Ciera to make some kind of move but she was stoic and seemed to be ignoring him or counter attacking him at every turn. Of course, she got the clue for the Hidden Immunity Idol and for some reason decided to share it with her alliance.

They are all off searching when Hayden realizes what they're doing so he and Katie join them. The jungle becomes quite crowded as they're all hunting high and low. Of course, later on, Tyson manages to “slip away” and makes an overly emotional speech about how finding the idol means the world to him. With tears. Yes, I'm serious. And, of course, he turns right around, scampers up the nearest tree and voila! Finds the damn idol. If that was staged I don't know what is. If Mark Burnett wants us to believe all of this is really happening he needs to hire better writers. Sheesh!

The Immunity Challenge comes and goes with Gervase winning the immunity and a cart full of ice cream, which he shares with Tyson and Monica. Hayden takes that time to plant more seeds of dissension in Ciera who still doesn't seem to take the bait.

But hold the phone folks!

At Tribal, Hayden calls them all out on the rug and shows her that no matter what happens, if she stays with her alliance, she will only get to Number 4 but if she makes a move now she will be one of three and have a whole new start in this game. Gervase and Tyson try to argue otherwise but even they call her Number 4!

At the vote it's a tie between Monica and Hayden. The second vote still comes up tied so they end up drawing stones. The three people who did NOT get any  votes have to draw stones – black stones, you stay, white stones, you leave. Katie, in what is probably the worst show of bad luck ever, picks the white stone and she's off to Redemption Island.

32 days into this season and someone FINALLY makes a bold move. It might get interesting now. It just might.

Vag’s Evaluation: Here we go again - another week and another dose of this bunch of unlikeable cads trying to prove how stupid they are. Wonderful. Plus, I don’t feel very well. Oh well, enough whining. I signed up for this job and I better get to it.

First some clever quotes from Fellow Survivor Geek Patty 4Names:

“Now they’re eating frikkin’ ICE CREAM! It never stops with the food on this season!”

“This ep doesn’t deserve much bloggage, unless something super exciting happens at the end. Sigh…"

“RUBBISH! Bloody HELL!”

I rather fancy her last comment. I believe it captures most the way most people feel about this season. Hopefully my cohort, Mary Beth covered some of the activities that occurred tonight because I have no intention of doing so. If she didn’t, I don’t blame her…

What I will give you is my opinions of the remaining castaways. Like tonight’s jury of Aras, Vytas and Caleb, I too will am laughing out loud. Rest assured that everything I am writing about this dimwits is oozing with sarcasm.

On Redemption Island:

Tina – I have had enough of this microscopic winner from season two. Go home already!
Laura M. – Ciera sprang forth from your loins. Enough said. You too can go home!
Katie – I guess you can stay around for a while. Especially if you break out your nerd glasses again.

The Five Remaining Castaways:

Monica – I like your husband a lot better than you, and he played for the Minnesota Vikings, Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Chicago Bears! What does that tell you?
Hayden – I hate to say this, but he might be the least annoying of this group. Hell, he has Kat for a girlfriend, these other beauties shouldn’t faze him at all.
Ciera – I can’t put my finger on it, but I cannot stand this little cretin. Maybe it’s her odd peanut-shaped head or the way she treated her scumbag mother. I’m not sure, but she needs to go away. Soon.
Gervase – Okay I get it, you’re from Philly and are street smart. But you’re also 44 years old and riding the coattails of the most miserable jerk on season 27.
Tyson – That’s the miserable jerk of which I speak! Let’s start with the fact that he looks like an emaciated Clay Matthews with a broken nose. He is also an arrogant scoundrel with no personality. Then, on top of that, he was blubbering tonight. He needs to be gone. I no longer want him to hurt my eyes and ears. Or my sensibilities.

Man, I hate this season.

Until next time…from the booth.