From The Rubble

The remains of "The Booth" - photo courtesy of Gregg Hansen

 Thursday of this past week, my friend Stewie posted on Facebook, “Puddles, your booth is down to the wrecking ball. Just saw it.” My immediate reply was, “No way!” Then after letting it sink in, I added, “I’m shedding a tear.” And wasn’t being totally facetious. After all, that booth is the namesake for this blog. Now it’s gone. I’m sort of devastated.

When I mentioned to my good friend Patty 4-Names that “the booth” at Finney’s West, she remarked, “I saw that!” She then made the sad face and added that I will have to change the name from my blog to “From the Rubble.”

She might have a point…

The booth first came into being in 1977 when Sam “Finney” Perry and current Kenosha mayor Keith Bosman, along with several silent investors opened Oakwood Park adjacent to Smitty’s Tavern in beautiful Somers, Wisconsin. The state of the art softball complex was the first of its kind in the area and featured all the amenities; in-ground dugouts, an electric scoreboard, cyclone fences complete with warning tracks, and a concession stand with the iconic announcer’s booth above it. At some point, both the ballpark and the tavern became Finney’s West.

It is now 2014 and it is called Scores. And the concession stand with the announcer’s booth above it no longer exists. It has been reduced to rubble.

However, I only have myself to blame.

I should have been more proactive. As my friend, Kool Papa, stated on Facebook, the demolition of the Finney’s West booth is a travesty. He feels that it should have been preserved under the historical registry. Because the Kenosha Softball Nation dropped the proverbial ball, the all-too-real wrecking ball actually dropped.

Kool Papa astutely noted that because this iconic structure is gone forever, no one will ever be able to say, “See that overhang up there? That’s where an umpire jumped when an irate Ken Pflugrad chased him out of the booth window!”

Yep, we blew it. The advocates for the Southport Beach House were wise enough to organize in an effort to restore and preserve the historic building that was established in 1941 and is located on the shore of Lake Michigan. They are to be commended for their passion.

Southport Beach House

Now, because I and the rest of Kenosha Softball Nation lacked this passion and, more importantly, foresight, the historic building that was established in 1977 and is located on the corner of highways E and 31 is no more. It has been reduced to rubble.

And this is very sad.

While the Southport Beach House might have been around 36 years longer, it has nothing on the booth at Finney’s West. There have been just as many cherished memories and historic moments in that rickety wooden booth as there have been in that classic building on the beach. And, I guarantee there was a lot more alcohol consumed in that booth. I can personally attest to that fact.

Nevertheless, there is no use crying over what was. It is a moot point now. The booth is gone. It no longer exists. Although it has been reduced to rubble, I will not change the name of this blog to “From the Rubble.” There are far too many memories for that.

With pride, I say, until next time…from the booth.

The News

Here’s the Friday News from the booth:

Dateline Racine, Wisconsin. My dear mother, Milly Vagnoni, hits it big playing bingo at the Roma Lodge last night. She won one game by herself and split another for a grand total of $112.50. Armed guards escorted Vagnoni and her associates, Maryann Behling and Debbie Snowtala to their car with her loot. It was the first time Vagnoni had won anything since sometime in 2013. She only smiled when asked on what she planned to spend her winnings.

Dateline Highland Park, Illinois. A new “Flash” craze was born Thursday afternoon. Seemingly out of nowhere, Patty 4-Names organized an impromptu “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” viewing party on Facebook. The response was unprecedented. The total number of viewers is still being tallied. No word from 4-Names on what cinematic treasure will be next.

Dateline Hoddson Hants, England: Christine Tulley is organizing the famous Taylor Sisters and their families in a Race For Life event. They would be participating to honor their sister Sue Symes who lost her battle with cancer September 30, 2013. The tentative date is May 18 in Harlow. Details to follow as they become available.

Local Weather: Today – Clouds breaking, brisk and chilly. High 44°/Low 24°. Saturday – Partly sunny and chilly. High 40°/Low 24°. Sunday – Sunny, breezy and warmer. High 55°/Low 38°. Monday – Mostly cloudy, rain possible; breezy. High 56°/Low 29°.

Celebrity Birthdays: Conchata Ferrell – 71, Ken Howard – 70, Dianne West – 66, Reba McEntire – 59, Bart Conner – 56, Salt – 48, Tracey Needham – 47, Rodney Atkins – 45, Vince Vaughn – 44, Julia Stiles – 33 and Lady Gaga – 28.

Sports: The Brewers, Cubs and White Sox all open their seasons on Monday. A bit of prognostication from the booth:

NL Central

1. St. Louis Cardinals

2. Milwaukee Brewers*

3. Pittsburgh Pirates

4. Cincinnati Reds

5. Chicago Cubs

*Wild Card

AL Central

1. Detroit Tigers

2. Cleveland Indians

3. Kansas City Royals

4. Chicago White Sox

5. Minnesota Twins

Friday’s Funny:

At the end of Mass, Father O’Hara told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To better help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.”

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, Father O’Hara asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had ready Mark 17. Every hand shot up in the air.

Father O’Hara smiled and said, “Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.”

BREAKING NEWS! Reliable sources are reporting that “More Kenosha Softball” will now be available at RK News on 75^th Street in Kenosha. This is in addition to the Kenosha History Center. You can still arrange a personal book signing by calling (262) 671-4251.

Until next time…from the booth.

Survivor?

Yesterday I mentioned that I might write about the reality TV show Survivor today. Well, I intended to. But then something happened at 7:00 last night. When the show started, I broke out my pencil and notepad and actually started taking notes. Just like I did for the last dozen seasons. Then I realized that this was a pain in the ass and I was missing things – like the lovely Morgan frolicking about. That is her at the top of the blog. Quite fetching, don’t you think? I think I have a crush on the young lady…

It was at this point that I said the heck with it, I’m just going to watch the show and that’s what I did. And I really enjoyed it. What’s not to enjoy? Several attractive women in bikinis, a couple bearded hillbilly bohunks, three brainiacs and a sleazy muscle-bound cop all competing on a tropical beach for $1 million! That’s a tremendous combination.

I brought up earlier that this season, Survivor: Cagayan, was a marked improvement over the last few seasons. Especially that train wreck, Survivor: Blood vs. Water. Maybe it’s because there are no retreads from seasons past muddling things up, or that there is no Redemption Island. I detest Redemption Island. I want to know who has been eliminated that week at the END of the show, not in the first 10 minutes.

Another benefit of not having Redemption Island, it pretty much guarantees two challenges – one for reward and one for immunity. I love the challenges, especially the physical ones. And if they involve mud or water… be still my heart. Did I mention that I enjoy watching the lovely Morgan frolicking about? Include mud and water to the equation, well; I don’t think I need to say more.

Although the season started out with the “Brawn vs. Brains vs. Beauty” theme, it was no big deal for me. This only lasted four episodes due to the fact that the Brains tribe wasn’t all that smart. Because their tribe dwindled to only three, a merge was in order.

I truly think the main reason for me liking this season more is that I am not doing the structured trilogy recap immediately following the show. Don’t get me wrong, I had a good time doing the trilogy with Marie Beth and Jamie, but after awhile it became more of job than fun.

Rather than just watch the show, I found myself always looking for an angle, for something to write about. When nothing stood out during an episode I would become frustrated and this would reflect in my writing. Typically I would just bitch and moan about how boring the show was and that I couldn’t stand any of the castaways. I knew it just me when the usually affable Mary Beth expressed the same sentiments.

So, no more posting a recap one hour after the show ends. From now on I will simply watch the show while exchanging caustic comments with my good friend and Fellow Survivor Geek, Patty 4-Names on Facebook. If something on a show really stands out for me, I might mention it the next time I do a blog. Something like the lovely Morgan frolicking about.

Until next time…from the booth.

Survivor Finale and Reunion

Mary Beth’s 2Cents: So, let's commence and put this stinker out of it's/our misery. Have you heard? I am not a fan of this season of Survivor. Just as I was getting ready to watch TV tonight a commercial came on for tonight's episode. As it showed scenes from shows past the words “Jaw Dropping Season” were emblazoned on my screen.

Jaw dropping? Really?

For me the words “eye lid drooping” and “snore inducing” come to mind. So much so that even while I'm watching I find my mind wanders and I end up missing large chunks of dialogue. Anyway, here's the recap…try to stay awake!

Monica rejoices as she realizes she is now the swing vote and that puts her in a position of power for the first time since she laid foot on the island. Not that she'll actually do anything with that power but more about that later.

Hayden is sent off to Redemption Island. At the Redemption Challenge, it is, as Hayden says, him “against two grandmas”. I find that kind of ageism rude and it was certain to bite him right in the ass, which it did.

The challenge was one of balancing on one leg while keeping an urn on a pedestal. The grannies kicked Hayden's butt and he was the first one gone. Laura M. begged Tina to give it to her but Tina refused and held on to the end. She got to go back to the game while Laura followed Hayden to the jury. Laura M. and Ciera have a very dramatic heart felt good-bye and Tina opts to keep the Immunity Idol clue for herself.

Back at camp, Tina and Ciera begin to work on Monica right away and try to convince her to go with them leaving Monica very confused. At the Immunity Challenge, it's another balancing act. This time they have to hold onto to a rope keeping a table balanced as they stack blocks. Tyson wins the Idol, though he doesn't really need it.

Later, Monica takes a load of crap from Gervase who always reverts to bullying which seems to be his way to play the game. Monica cries. This is the first of three or four times tonight when she cried. Sheesh!

At Tribal Council, it's Ciera and Tina vs. Tyson, Gervase and Monica. Try as they might, the votes are cast. Tyson gives Gervase his hidden immunity idol and Ciera ends up getting voted off. And so the final four are – Tina, Monica, Tyson and Gervase.

The final Immunity Challenge is a huge thing with an obstacle balance thing to cross to get bags of letters. They have to run up a huge flight of stairs and then hurl themselves down a water slide to start all over.

In the end, Tyson wins. Man, I hate him! He's definitely in the final three. At Tribal, there's just nothing anyone can say and Tina is just sent limping off. So there they are – the Final Three – Tyson, Gervase and Monica. Each one more weaselly than the next and not one of them actually deserving of winning the million dollars. Sheesh!

Vag’s Evaluation: The jury for the Final Tribal Council consisted of: Aras, Vytas, Caleb, Katie, Hayden, Laura, Ciera and Tina. For me, this was the last hope to redeem this pitiful season. Hopefully, there would be some Sue Hawk-like vitriol shown toward the three finalists, Tyson, Monica and Gervase. I wanted to see this loathsome trio squirm a bit.

Alas, I was once again disappointed.

The opening statements from the three set the tone for this snoozefest. First, Gervase blathered about going from old school to new school. Then Monica whined about not being a lap dog. At least she didn’t cry. BUT TYSON DID! It was something about doing it for his girlfriend. Blah, blah, blah…

Now it was time for the jurors to interrogate these three dolts.

Vytas – After complimenting Tyson, he then told him he could never vote for him and would have to decide between Monica and Gervase. Huh?

Katie – Congratulated the group and then basically told Tyson that he was a prick. At least one castaway was observant.

Caleb – Asked Gervase what his big move was, to which Gervase replied, “Voting out your brother, Aras.” Nice. Then Monica started blubbering. I’m not sure why. Perhaps it is from hanging around Tyson too much.

Ciera – Asked Tyson if he was a hero or a villain. He surmised that since he didn’t consider himself a villain, he must be a hero. Okay. She asked Gervase if he ever considered voting out Tyson. His answer? Not really. At least nobody cried during this “tough” line of questioning.

Laura – All right, back to the crying. All it took was Monica being asked why she didn't revealed more about herself to the other castaways. This set off more weeping. Kleenex® could have made a bundle sponsoring the Final Tribal Council.

Tina – The diminutive one asked the three finalists to describe their inner core in one word. Monica said “generous”, Gervase came up with “honorable” and Tyson replied “fun-loving.” What this proved is beyond me. Maybe that Tyson cheated by using a compound word

Hayden – After asking Tyson where he hid his Hidden Immunity Idol, he told Monica that she was a fake. You’ll never guess what happened next. That’s right!!! She started sobbing. Again. And again. And again…

Aras – His question was whom would you vote for if you couldn’t vote for yourself? Gervase said Tyson because he had so many elements to his game. Monica agreed that it was Tyson, because he was such a force in the game. Tyson then chose Monica and blew some smoke up her ass. I guess he didn’t want to see any more tears.

All that was left was the Final Vote…

Dr. J’s Prognosis: It is my privilege to recap what my FSGP (Fellow Survivor Geek Paul) claims is his last season of blogging about Survivor. I was recently knighted a “Snarkess” by one Patty 4-Names and I shall wear that cloak with honor. But first I want to say without any snarkishness that I was saddened about the announcement that several weeks ago contestant Tina lost her son in a car accident. My thoughts are with her and her daughter.

So here is what I have to say about this season. It was not my favorite. I have nodded my head in agreement with Paul and Mary Beth each week as they have tried to put as much positive spin on the show as possible. The problem was not only design but also casting. I don’t know about ya’ll but I don’t want to see loved ones pitted against each other. Life is tough enough, who wants to watch that?

I also think that the casting sucked. Enough with the rehashing of fan favorites blah, blah, blah! Give us some new people! Make it hard again. Starve these people! Make them work for it!!!!! That is why we watch this damn show!

In seasons past I have been bestowed with the duty of describing the moment when Jeff Probst makes his panther like entrance into the reunion show. I have made no secret of the fact that I lust after him in a perfectly normal suburban married housewife type of way. I just wish he would go back to the days when he would pretend like he was parachuting in directly from tribal council I LOVED that!!! Sigh…

With pretend anticipation he read the names. Of course no one voted for Gervase because he was annoying. Monica did get a vote even though she was annoying and then the MOST annoying guy Tyson, sporting one of those fake tuxedo shirts with pit stains, won it all.

I wasn’t surprised and to be honest he actually played a good game. I just don’t care for him. But yeah for you funky Tyson! You finally won. Now go away and never return.

Part of my problem with this season is that I tried to stick with it and it made me feel bipolar.

I started to like hairy Colton boyfriend and then he got voted off and then I started to like blond daughter of Tina and she got voted off and then I started to like hunky boyfriend of Kat and he got voted off and then I admired that Laura was kicking some ass on Redemption Island so I started to like her and she got voted off and then I started to respect Ciera because she was kind of defiant and playing her game against the odds and then she got voted off.

So in the end I was left with nothing. I’m sorry Monica Culpepper, you just seem bitchy to me and your husband seems like a dufus (his entire career in the NFL he only had like 34 sacks I think in 9 years he should have done better… PS do you guys know that guy is a LAWYER??)  Save your crocodile tears for someone who cares, Monica Culpepper!

A message to Colton, who tried to mock the AARP during the Reunion Show; “Hey dude I BELONG to that group now and not only did I get a free tote for joining but I also get discounts on lawyer fees, so stay out of Wisconsin”.

And since I’m feeling so cranky; “Hey Rupert, take off the tie die and put on some man panties!  You could have stayed on and won!!” Ughhhhhhh!!!! 

Thankfully a happy moment appeared in the form of my man Cochran. It seems that my fan fave has ditched Harvard law school and gone into sitcom writing, a much more secure career path I think! Go Cochran!!!!!!

Of course at the end of the show we had to be teased with the next seasons amazing twists and they just kept showing all of these “B”’s floating across the screen.

I HATE that!

What does that mean? Boobs? Bugs? Boys? Eventually it was revealed that it means Brains, Brawn and some other word that starts with B (Not boobs, Paul, I’m sorry). All I can say is I hope the damn show is better. And I also hope that if he takes a season off to rest and revive that my good friend Paul Vagnoni reconsiders about his Survivor blogging. I for one will miss it!

One last Vag’s Evaluation: Thanks for the kind words, Jamie. And more thanks for jumping on board for the final recap, thus making it a true trilogy. I would also like to express my gratitude to Mary Beth for enduring this entire gut-wrenching season with me. I know it wasn’t easy. As she would say… Sheesh!

Until next time…from the booth.

Survivor 27.12

Mary Beth’s 2Cents: Hey! Let's all beat up Tyson! Let's all beat up Tyson! Let's all beat up Tyyyysooon!!! And so says all of us!! Yes, it did my heart good to see ol' Hayden start the show off by pointing out how Tyson is leading the rest of them all around like so many sheep. The look on Tyson's face was priceless but the best part was that Gervase couldn't stand to have anyone think he was only the “second” in command so he stood up and threw himself under the bus! If only it didn't take 32 days to get these people fired up!

The beat down continued at Redemption Island with the recently blindsided alluding to a man's word not meaning much in Utah or Philly – where Tyson and Gervase are from. Gervase got the last word, albeit a whiny baby-headed one, when he stood up and whined that Caleb was just being “a bad sore loser!!!”

Hayden pretty much spent the entire episode trying to get Ciera to make some kind of move but she was stoic and seemed to be ignoring him or counter attacking him at every turn. Of course, she got the clue for the Hidden Immunity Idol and for some reason decided to share it with her alliance.

They are all off searching when Hayden realizes what they're doing so he and Katie join them. The jungle becomes quite crowded as they're all hunting high and low. Of course, later on, Tyson manages to “slip away” and makes an overly emotional speech about how finding the idol means the world to him. With tears. Yes, I'm serious. And, of course, he turns right around, scampers up the nearest tree and voila! Finds the damn idol. If that was staged I don't know what is. If Mark Burnett wants us to believe all of this is really happening he needs to hire better writers. Sheesh!

The Immunity Challenge comes and goes with Gervase winning the immunity and a cart full of ice cream, which he shares with Tyson and Monica. Hayden takes that time to plant more seeds of dissension in Ciera who still doesn't seem to take the bait.

But hold the phone folks!

At Tribal, Hayden calls them all out on the rug and shows her that no matter what happens, if she stays with her alliance, she will only get to Number 4 but if she makes a move now she will be one of three and have a whole new start in this game. Gervase and Tyson try to argue otherwise but even they call her Number 4!

At the vote it's a tie between Monica and Hayden. The second vote still comes up tied so they end up drawing stones. The three people who did NOT get any  votes have to draw stones – black stones, you stay, white stones, you leave. Katie, in what is probably the worst show of bad luck ever, picks the white stone and she's off to Redemption Island.

32 days into this season and someone FINALLY makes a bold move. It might get interesting now. It just might.

Vag’s Evaluation: Here we go again - another week and another dose of this bunch of unlikeable cads trying to prove how stupid they are. Wonderful. Plus, I don’t feel very well. Oh well, enough whining. I signed up for this job and I better get to it.

First some clever quotes from Fellow Survivor Geek Patty 4Names:

“Now they’re eating frikkin’ ICE CREAM! It never stops with the food on this season!”

“This ep doesn’t deserve much bloggage, unless something super exciting happens at the end. Sigh…"

“RUBBISH! Bloody HELL!”

I rather fancy her last comment. I believe it captures most the way most people feel about this season. Hopefully my cohort, Mary Beth covered some of the activities that occurred tonight because I have no intention of doing so. If she didn’t, I don’t blame her…

What I will give you is my opinions of the remaining castaways. Like tonight’s jury of Aras, Vytas and Caleb, I too will am laughing out loud. Rest assured that everything I am writing about this dimwits is oozing with sarcasm.

On Redemption Island:

Tina – I have had enough of this microscopic winner from season two. Go home already!
Laura M. – Ciera sprang forth from your loins. Enough said. You too can go home!
Katie – I guess you can stay around for a while. Especially if you break out your nerd glasses again.

The Five Remaining Castaways:

Monica – I like your husband a lot better than you, and he played for the Minnesota Vikings, Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Chicago Bears! What does that tell you?
Hayden – I hate to say this, but he might be the least annoying of this group. Hell, he has Kat for a girlfriend, these other beauties shouldn’t faze him at all.
Ciera – I can’t put my finger on it, but I cannot stand this little cretin. Maybe it’s her odd peanut-shaped head or the way she treated her scumbag mother. I’m not sure, but she needs to go away. Soon.
Gervase – Okay I get it, you’re from Philly and are street smart. But you’re also 44 years old and riding the coattails of the most miserable jerk on season 27.
Tyson – That’s the miserable jerk of which I speak! Let’s start with the fact that he looks like an emaciated Clay Matthews with a broken nose. He is also an arrogant scoundrel with no personality. Then, on top of that, he was blubbering tonight. He needs to be gone. I no longer want him to hurt my eyes and ears. Or my sensibilities.

Man, I hate this season.

Until next time…from the booth.

Survivor 27.5

Mary Beth’s 2Cents: Tadhana Times – The hard part about writing about Tadhana is that I haven't really found one member of the tribe that I can fully like. The only person coming close to being liked by me is Brad Culpepper and, mostly I think, because he's the only one who's been actually playing the game so far and he's so hated/misunderstood by everyone else. He's sort of an underdog and I'm always a sucker for an underdog. He waving the white flag as he crept into camp on Redemption Island amused me.

Now, there are two people I cannot stomach. John and his skinny lipped, overly opinionated wife, Candice. She is a shrew and I silently wished her gone. Well, lucky me! My wish came true. In the Redemption Challenge, the three competitors had to dismantle a box, use the slats to make a bridge, dismantle said bridge and use only some of the marked slats to complete a puzzle.

Candice had an early lead but John soon caught up. Culpepper worked slowly and methodically, taking his box apart and carefully building his bridge. Candice lost her lead but they all worked head to head on the puzzle. It was a close race but John came in first and Brad Culpepper won the second seat by a very narrow margin. But it was a win that sent snake lips home! Whooo hooo!!

Overall, Tadhana is looking pretty beat up. They are covered in bug bites, open sores, scrapes and bruises. Katie's toenails are falling off left and right and I could have done without the close ups of her swollen, red, pus-filled feet. Pretty disgusting, I must say.

Now that Culpepper is gone there is a new vibe in Tadhana. Everyone seems at peace. Vytas spends some time trying to solve the human mystery that is Caleb. And Caleb divulges that he likes to exfoliate. Later, Vytas makes for some pretty eye candy as he does some interesting yoga moves on a cliffside. Yep, it's a whole new vibe.

At the Immunity/Reward Challenge, the tribes go mano y mano on a water slide/ring toss combo game. The reward, other than immunity, is a huge pile of steaks with all the fixins and a wok to cook them in. Or they could choose fishing gear. I tell ya, those steaks looked so good I almost wished I was there!

Right off the bat, Caleb, the exfoliator, gives Tadhana the early lead by making an easy ring toss. Not to be outdone, Tyson ends up tying it all up. Katie takes the lead back again followed by a score by Vytas, which put Tadhana two points ahead. The score goes back and forth for a while but Tadhana holds onto the two-point lead and FINALLY wins the challenge!

See? A whole new vibe. And, they chose the steaks because…well, who wouldn't!? I think they made the right choice. Not just about the steaks but they made the right choice about voting out Culpepper. Oh, he'll be back. I have a feeling he will but for now…it was the right to do so this motley crew can get some peace and move forward in this game.
 
Vag’s Evaluation: The Galang Gang – This is where I am supposed to recap what happened on this evening’s episode of Survivor: Blood vs. Water. Well, I don’t know whether it is worth it or not. Please let me explain why.

On September 20, 1977, Fonzie jumped the shark. For the uninformed, jumping the shark became an idiom used to describe the moment in the evolution of a television show when it begins to decline in quality that is beyond recovery, which is usually a particular scene, episode or aspect of a show in which the writers use some type of gimmick in a desperate attempt to keep viewers’ interest.

Fellow Survivor Geeks, October 16, 2013 may be the date Survivor jumped the shark for yours truly. And, I do believe that I am not alone in this assertion. My standard Survivor ritual includes getting feedback from Fellow Survivor Geeks Patty 4-Names and Auntie Janet before I start writing. Tonight’s responses were most revealing…

From Patty 4-Names: “I dunno, I no longer understand this show. I have watched it since the beginning. My husband and I were in the city for a concert at the Chicago Theatre and I made him find a bar so we could watch the Finale of the first season! This is NOTHING like the old show!” The pièce de résistance was when she added, “I have no idea who Laura M. is?!?!?!!?

From Auntie Janet: “Who are these people?” She then asked me how many episodes were left this season. When I told her that this was only episode five and there are eight or nine more, disappointment in her, “Oh really” response oozed through the phone. Auntie Janet used to love Survivor.

So did I.

I was never a fan of the Redemption Island twist; it detracts from the drama of Tribal Council. Plus, it eliminates the Reward Challenge. Now, on top of all of that, they have added this Blood vs. Water thing. Blah, blah, blah…

Give me the good old days where the show was about the personalities of the castaways. I need people like Richard Hatch, Russell Hantz, Coach, and Parvati, please. It doesn’t have to be THOSE people, but it has to be people like them. Someone with character and charisma. Not a broken down Gervase and doddering Tina Wesson.

For crying out loud, even Emmy award-winning host Jeff Probst is finding it difficult to stir the shit up at Tribal Council. The biggest reaction he got was Kat rolling her eyes when he said something about Laura B.

Okay, okay, I’ll stop whining. Hopefully my partner, Mary Beth isn’t as disgruntled as I am and provided you some entertainment. Don’t worry, I’m contractually obligated to complete season 27, so I will be back next week. Hopefully I will have a better attitude. But if Probst is water-skiing wearing a leather jacket, all bets are off…

Until next time…from the booth.

Book Review Time

The other day, my friend Kool Papa asked if I would recommend a book to another friend of mine, Patty 4-Names. I said sure, that I would be glad to. After all, anytime I can do something to help promote literacy, count me in, especially, among friends. Seriously, Kool Papa and Patty 4-Names are easily, two of the more well read people I have never known. They certainly put me to shame.

This got me to thinking that it would be a good idea to do a little reading of my own. I harken back to a column I wrote November 14, 2009. It was titled “Intervention Update” and discussed my attempt to start reading a pile of books that had accumulated on my shelf.

With that in mind, I grabbed the first book I saw and read it from cover to cover before I turned on Hell’s Kitchen. Honest. I even read it again this morning before writing this blog. Seriously, I did.

Okay, this book couldn’t be classified as a tome. You might call it a quick read. It is less than 40 pages and half of those are illustrations. But it is quite compelling, a real page-turner. The title of this little gem is “Cherise The Niece” by J.K. Benton. It was a gift from my friend from Michigan, Sharon and it is cherished.
 

“Cherise The Niece” is called an “adult picture book” and is recommended for readers 14 years and older. This is because it’s a spine-tingling, yet amusing tale of a troubled little girl that may be doing away with her aunts one-by-one. It is illustrated and is told completely in rhyme. It is a darkly comic masterpiece of the macabre.

The bloody footprints leading out of Cherise’s bedroom are the first clue that perhaps the little darling with the bow in her hair is not an angel. As Cherise is shuttled from one aunt’s home to another, her aunts vanish, meeting with creative and hysterical ends. With a killer punch line on its final page, Benton’s Cherise will leave you laughing. It did me.

About the author – Benton is a writer and artist who might draw a happy bunny one moment and write poems about a scary little niece the next. It’s probably best not to ask why. His characters, including Happy Bunny, Franny K. Stein, and the New York Times bestseller Dear Dumb Diary, are licensed worldwide and appear in books and calendars, and on T-shirts, stickers, magnets, and more.

Here are a couple of short excerpts:

“She was orphaned quite young.
In a mysterious way,
Her Parents just up and
Vanished one day.”

“She stayed for a while,
With her dear old Aunt Bea,
‘Til one day when bug spray
Wound up in her tea.”

Good stuff, huh? Don’t take my word for it. I found these reviews for the book on the Internet:

“This was such a cute book. Okay, it’s a picture book with a dark humor that is meant for anyone but kids. The pictures were good; the writing had a great flow. Definitely something I would read again.” – Michelle

“Dark and funny. My husband found this book for me when he ran into the dollar store for tape… I love it!” - Angela

“My uncle bought this for me as a joke and I thoroughly enjoyed It.” – Justine

“Adorable, but isn’t it supposed to be a children’s book?” – Cecellia

“This is dumb, pointless and not funny or cute. Absolutely meritless.” - Catalinna

“Very strange. Strange is good.” – Nicole

If strange is indeed good, then “Cherise The Niece” is VERY good. That’s it for my book review. If you would like to borrow my copy, just ask, although I saw it on Amazon for less than $4.00. What should I read next? Hmm…

Until next time…from the booth.