Keeping It Real

Are there certain words and phrases that drive you crazy? Slang expressions or euphemisms that are overused, rude and can have a multitude of meanings. Take the title of this particular column for instance. “Keeping It Real”. What does that mean? It would be safe to say that it has different connotations to different people. Is there a place where I can find definitions for these annoying terms? Aren’t there more appropriate ways to say them?

The answer to both questions is YES!

The handy online Urban Dictionary provided the answer to my first query. It boasts 4,207,468 definitions written since 1999. Not only did I find the ones that I was looking for, but I also discovered slang that I had no idea even existed.

The second question can be answered by using what you learned in high school English and some good old-fashioned common sense.

Here are some aggravating slang terms, their Urban Dictionary definition and a more suitable way of getting the same point across.

Keeping It Real - Not only tell the truth, but specifically get to the point of the actual matter at hand, rather than beating around the bush.
More Suitable: Just don’t say it. Say what you have to say without announcing that you are being truthful.

Awesome - Something Americans use to describe everything.
More Suitable: Don’t use “Awesome” to describe everything! It is obviously used to cover over the huge gaps in your vocabulary. Instead, use a word that gives a realistic evaluation of what you are describing.

Conversate - A word used by backwards, ignorant, riffraff who mean to say “converse”. It is still classified as slang, but it is in the dictionary. Trust me I'm just as upset as you are.
More Suitable: Simply use the word converse. It isn’t hard, plus you won’t sound stupid!

My Bad - Ruder than apologizing, but with the same meaning: a flippant apology.
More Suitable: Here’s a novel idea, show some sincerity when expressing your regrets for messing up!

Actually - The most overused adverb I've ever heard. Used by those whose vocabularies lack adverbs. How maddening.
More Suitable: Another one where the answer is to avoid using it. It is a prime example of unnecessary verbiage.

It Is What It Is - A phrase that seems to simply state the obvious but actually implies helplessness. A trite, overused and infuriatingly meaningless cliché.
More Suitable: How about admitting you don’t have a clue? Or better yet, that you have nothing to say.

Know What I Mean? - a phrase used to make sure the other person in a conversation is listening and can comprehend.
More Suitable: Why not try, “I’m an illiterate imbecile, can’t put an intelligent thought into words and I’ve used my entire vocabulary.”

Whatever - Used in an argument to admit that you are wrong without admitting it so the argument is over. Passive-aggressive behavior at its most eloquent.
More Suitable: Please see “Know What I Mean”.

To be sure, there are many more expressions such as these, but I don’t want to bore you and come off as arrogant or condescending. Actually, it is what it is. I thought it would be awesome to conversate with you and keep it real. You know what I mean? Whatever! My bad. Until next time…from the booth.