I Need A Real Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!

After throwing away two hours last night and another sixty minutes tonight, I have decided to pull the plug on NBC’s “I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!” Over the course of the next few weeks, I will undoubtedly tune in from time to time, but tonight is the last time I will waste any significant time writing about this horrible excuse for a reality show.

I am through having this show offend my senses. The only thing that made me even think about continuing to write about this ignominious failure was when Stephen Baldwin was “baptizing” the insipid Spencer Pratt in the river.

Unfortunately Baldwin didn’t do us all a favor and drown the slimy creep. Perhaps Baldwin can be granted a “mulligan” for “Slap Shot 2: Breaking The Ice”, but this cannot be forgiven.

You’re Not Celebrities…Get Out of Here!

Seriously, the Pratt Brats had to be kidding when they declared themselves “Super Celebrities”. In the “Celebrity Spectrum” they barely rank ahead of Frangela, who I had never heard of prior to this show and Sanjaya who I vaguely remember from American Idol.

The rest of the cast isn’t much better. Patti Blagojevich. Enough said. Sure Janice Dickinson was a super model - Forty years ago! Now she is more famous for appearing on shows like this.

Stephen Baldwin’s main claim to fame is being one of the acting Baldwin brothers and turning to God. After his performance on this show he had better ask for forgiveness.

John Salley, former NBA star, is still somewhat relevant in that he is currently one of the hosts of "The Best Damn Sports Show Period" on Fox Sports Network. Torrie Wilson’s “stardom” is a little dimmer since she no longer wrestles and hasn’t posed naked in quite a while.

For my money, the biggest celebrity on the show is Lou Diamond Phillips. Besides the considerable amount of films and TV shows that he has appeared in, he is also the subject of Punky Bruiser’s favorite joke.

Who is Punky Bruiser?

She was my favorite performer on A&E’s Rollergirls. Rollergirls was a thirteen episode 2006 A&E Network reality show examining the personalities, antics and motivations of the women involved with the Austin, Texas Lonestar Rollergirls roller derby league. She skated (and still does) with The Holy Rollers.


Now that, my friend, was quality reality television. So much so, I even purchased the entire series on DVD and the complex Punky Bruiser was the best! A hardnosed competitor, she would have kicked Heidi and Spencer’s collective ass twenty minutes into the first program. She is one tough cookie.

During Rollergirls we learned that outside of the rink, it was a different story for Punky. While roller derby had definitely boosted her confidence, she still felt a bit lost. She worked as waitress and had a part-time gig at a clothing store, but didn’t really know what she wanted to do with her life.

One particular episode revealed that Punky had a secret desire to be a standup comic. That’s when I first heard her favorite joke. I chuckle just thinking about it. I would be remiss if I didn’t share it with you. Here it is:

Q: What did one Lou Diamond say to the other Lou Diamond?
A: It’s Lou Diamond!!!

Punky Bruiser. There’s a real celebrity. Where’s that Rollergirls DVD? Until next time…from the booth.

Springer Meets Fear Factor

Tonight was the premier of “I’m a Celebrity – Get Me Out of Here!” They call this reality TV. Don’t believe it for a minute. What it amounts to is a cross between “The Jerry Springer Show” and “Fear Factor”. Only not as good. To put it into proper prospective you would have to take the absolute worst elements of Springer and Fear Factor combine them and you would have this monstrosity.

No, this wasn’t reality TV at all. If this wasn’t scripted then Spencer Pratt and his whiney wife Heidi are better actors then I ever would have imagined. Twenty minutes into the show all the other celebrities wanted to kill them. By the end of hour two (yes, it was on for a gut-wrenching two hours) the Pratts were praying with Patti Blagojevich and singing Kumbaya.

It was evident early that this show was gong to be a train wreck. I quickly emailed fellow reality TV aficionado Jamie Cairo to get her take on it. Her comments included, “Thus far it seems stupid but I’ve got nothing better to watch and I love those sisters (Frangela).” and “I’m disturbed most by the fact that they are allowed to disrupt the flora and fauna of the jungle with aerosol hair spray…”

That’s how bad this poor excuse for reality television was. Just to make sure it wasn’t my sophisticated taste in this particular genre of television, I logged onto facebook. I was greeted with the following:

“This is lame. I can't believe I am watching this.”
– Andrea

“This show is really bad. Not sure I can watch much more of this.”
– Julie

“This has got to be staged.”
– Bill

“Seriously! Who ARE these people?????”
– Catherine

Then the media bigwigs arrived on the facebook scene. No less than Tim Cuprisin, the long-time TV and radio critic for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel and Steve Dahl, long-time radio personality began offering their educated opinions.

Cuprisin and Dahl provided these pearls:

Cuprisin - "Reality" TV doesn't get more pathetic than Patti Blagojevich's appearance on NBC's "I'm a Celebrity" tonight.”

Dahl – “Sanjaya just swallowed an iguana tail whole. Not the first time he's done that I bet.”

Cuprisin - “I'm betting the second hour of "I'm A Celeb" has lower numbers than the first…”

Dahl – “Patti Blagojevich is explaining Rod's charges to Spencer is hilarious. The celebs believe he's innocent and pray for him!”

Cuprisin - “Now Heidi is praying for the Blagonians…That'll fix everything.”

Dahl - “They are going to waterboard the celebrities. They call it the Trauma Tank. Ha ha ha!”

I think Brent Gohde said it best when made the following comment to Cuprisin, “Tim, whatever they're paying you to watch this stuff, it's not enough.”

I will give it another shot tomorrow night. Until then…from the booth.

I'm a Celebrity?

Since Survivor concluded two weeks ago, softball-based blogs have been dominating From The Booth. If you’re not a fan of softball, you’re in luck. I'm a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! begins tomorrow night on NBC at 7 PM. Basically it’s a group of B-list celebrities who are stranded in Costa Rica, with their fate in the hands of viewers in this retooling of the British reality show.


The celebrities compete in survival-themed challenges to earn extra food, supplies and luxury items, and viewers vote them off the show one by one. The last celebrity standing wins cash to be donated to his or her favorite charity. Here are the pseudo celebrities:

Heidi Montag is an American reality television personality, fashion designer, pop singer, and aspiring actress. Montag, along with Spencer Pratt, have made a joint fortune of $3 million in the last two years with the help of TV salaries, club appearances, photo shoots, and business deals.

Spencer Pratt is an American reality television personality known for his role on MTV's "The Hills." He is well known as husband of Heidi Montag and brother of Stephanie Pratt, who also appears on "The Hills."

Janice Dickinson is an American supermodel, fashion photographer, author, and agent. She opened her own modeling agency, which was documented in "The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency," after judging for four cycles on "America's Next Top Model."

John Salley is a retired professional basketball player in the NBA, actor and talk show host. Currently, he is one of the hosts of "The Best Damn Sports Show Period" on Fox Sports Network.

Lou Diamond Phillips has been seen in movies and television (Numb3rs, The George Lopez Show) but this will be his first venture into reality TV. But with his roles in action films such as Young Guns as well as his guest-starring role on 24, Phillips should be ready for the endurance challenges that will come before him on the show.

Sanjaya Malakar was a finalist on the sixth season of American Idol. He gained national attention on the series, controversially advancing to 7th place with public votes, despite being poorly received by the show's judges (particularly Simon Cowell).

Patti Blagojevich is the wife of former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich and daughter of a Chicago alderman; Patti is a licensed real estate broker and appraiser who owns her own real estate company.

Stephen Baldwin is an American actor and is the youngest of the Baldwin brothers. A veteran of reality TV, competing in reality shows like "Celebrity Mole: Hawaii" (2003), "Celebrity Mole: Yucatan" (2004) and “Celebrity Apprentice” (2008). His disturbing yet comical mind games helped him win "Celebrity Fear Factor" (2002).

Torrie Wilson is a former wrestler, fitness competitor, and model who worked for WCW and WWE. In May 2003, Wilson appeared in a pictorial and on the cover of Playboy magazine. I addition to Playboy, Wilson has also graced the cover of several other magazines, including the September 2006 cover of FHM magazine. Wilson was also number forty-three on FHM's 100 Sexiest Women in the World list in 2007.

Frangela is a Los Angeles-based comedy duo composed of African-American comedians, Frances Callier and Angela V. Shelton, both of The Second City. They are a last-minute addition.

An interesting side note: although former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich had been asked to take part in I'm a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! by NBC, a judge refused him permission to leave the country while awaiting trial on corruption charges. Wouldn’t that have been sweet?!?

Starting on June 2nd thru the 18th, the show will run Monday - Thursday (7 - 8 PM). Then, from June 22nd thru the 24th, it will air Monday - Wednesday (7 - 8 PM). I will attempt to post a recap/commentary following each show, so check back daily! Until next time…from Costa Rica.

Happy 25th Anniversary Play Ball

Today marks the silver anniversary of the Play Ball newspaper. The eight-page tabloid was the effort of publishers Glen Marescalco and Jack Ostrowski. During the first two weeks of the free publication’s short existence, Don Cox and John Rampart assisted them. The paper was published bi-monthly beginning May 29, 1984, with the last issue coming out August 21 that same year. As you might have guessed, the paper was devoted to all levels of Kenosha softball and baseball. Although it only survived the one-year, it was a must-read periodical.

The cover of the inaugural issue featured team pictures of both the 12” men and women Kenosha City champions from the previous (1983) season. Current Kenosha Mayor, Keith Bosman penned an article about the upcoming city tournaments. A regular feature, the “May Beverage Player of the Week”, debuted in this issue. Larry Keating garnered the honor, winning an Old Style cap and t-shirt along with a case of Old Style beer. Other regular features were the standings from The Bullpen and Finney’s West.

The second issue not only spotlighted the local softball scene, but also concentrated heavily on hardball. Tremper High School’s baseball team made the cover, celebrating their trip to the state tournament. Play Ball also featured two regular columnists, Dudley Blue and Xavier B. Harding. These pen names were used by a couple of softball “heavyweights” who liked to offer their spin on Kenosha’s favorite sport.

As could be expected, getting team and managers to contribute information and results was Marescalco and Ostrowski’s biggest obstacle. So much so, they put themselves on the cover of the June 26th cover pleading for contributions. Mayor Bosman added a second article, this one concerning the upcoming 14” tourney. Tournament results were peppered with the usual array of pictures featuring Kenosha’s men and women in action.

The July 12th issue of Play Ball ran a column by Xavier B. Harding that pondered the future of softball in Kenosha. It was interesting to go back and read the column and see how Harding’s opinions have played out, as softball progressed. Maybe, if there is enough interest, I can “reprint” that 1984 column in the Daily Kenoshan. I found it very interesting. That was the beauty of Play Ball. It was about people and things that you knew and cared about. Heck, it was about you!

The cover of the next issue of Play Ball had 1984 women Rotary champs Pasquali’s on it. A comprehensive article was featured along with an ad congratulating them on their back-to-back Rotary titles. Speaking of ads, they were another great part of the paper. Not only do they bring back wonderful memories, like The Ranch, Uncle Munchies and Hoff’s Players; but also the paper had coupons! The Times, Video Unlimited and The Fon Tan Blu were just a few that offered great deals when you patronized their establishments. Many a Thursday night, my team made the short trek across 22nd avenue from Hoff’s to The Times to use the free drink coupon we had tore out of the latest copy of Play Ball.

The final issue had the 14” City Tournament champions, The 5th Amendment, on the cover. The 5th’s pitcher, Rick “Cardo” Bloomquist, was honored as the last “May Beverage Player of the Week”. The tabloid was fortunate enough to have Kenosha softball luminary Al Gajdos author an article about the legendary Strang Siding’s women’s team. Jon Naumann, Steve Spizziri, Tom Jaehne, Tammy Nelson and umpire George Becker had the privilege of having their pictures grace the back page of that last issue.

In that last issue of Play Ball, Jack Ostrowski and Glen Marescalco wrote, “We hope you enjoyed each and every issue of Play Ball. We’ll be back next year – bigger and better!” Unfortunately, they weren’t back the next year. But please rest assured that I, along with countless others, did indeed enjoy each and every issue of Play Ball. Until next time…from the booth.

A Tip of the Cap

Memorial Day is a United States federal holiday observed on the last Monday of May. It commemorates U.S. men and women who died while in the military service. Many people observe this holiday by visiting cemeteries and memorials. Many Americans also use Memorial Day to honor other family members who have died. This Memorial Day I would like to remember those associated with Kenosha softball that have passed on.

Softball first became significant in Kenosha in the early 1960s, continued to flourish during the ‘70s and ultimately exploded in the ‘80s and into the ‘90s. Games were being played on eight city diamonds and at seven private parks each night of the week. This was the “Golden Age” of Kenosha Softball.

In recent years we have lost many of the people that were an integral part of this popular game. With the help of several area softball savants I was able to compile the following list of these special folks.

Keith Anthonson – Player
Jim Darula – Player
Bea Dinan – Sponsor
Vern Ekern – Sponsor
Sacramento "Kenny" Garza – Player
Tom Gascoigne, Sr. – Manager
Walter Glass – Player
Russ Guarascio – Player, Umpire
Mark Issetts – Player
Dennis “Doc” Kalberg – Player, Umpire
Herb Kolmos - Player
Darrell Kozel – Player
Jim Krifka – Player
Corky Lettsome – Manager
Art “Shorty” Llanas – Player
Ricky Llanas – Player
Jim Mason – Manager
Leila Mercado – Player
Don Newport – Umpire
Sam “Finney” Perry – Organizer, Sponsor
George Pflueger – Umpire
Bob Reschke – Manager, Player
Nick Scavone – Manager
Jeff Schneeberger – Manager, Player
Tom Sorensen – Player, Sponsor, Manager
Dave Spitzer – Player
Randy Warnock – Player
Jim Webber - Player, Umpire

Although some of the above have served our country, that is not what this list is about. On this Memorial Day I want to honor them for helping to make the great game of softball something special in the city of Kenosha. A tip of the cap to all of them for providing many wonderful memories.


My thanks go out to Pat Hegewald, Jimmy Gentile and Leon Rosko for helping me put together this list. My sincerest apologies to any that may have been missed. Until next time…from the booth.

What's in a Nickname?

What’s in a nickname? Nice question for a guy who was nicknamed Puddles 34 years ago while stacking fifty-pound bags of ice melter in the summer heat at Koos Inc. When I became involved in softball, managing the legendary 400 Club, the tag stuck. I was in good company though, because heaven only knows the number of nicknames that are hung on softball players.

But what makes a really good nickname? One online dictionary gives the following definitions for nickname:

(noun) 1. An additional or substitute name given to a person, place or thing – usually descriptive and given in fun, affection or derision, as “Doc” or “Shorty”. 2. A familiar, often shorter, form of a proper name, as “Dick” for Richard”.

Puddles would probably fall under the first definition, although I have been called Dick. As far as softball players go, your guess is as good as mine. Most could fall under either definition, with some being somewhere in between. Still others just leave you scratching your head, saying, “Huh?”

Thinking back, I put together a list of over 80 nicknames for Kenosha softball players. Some are fairly obvious, ones given because of the player’s real name or a physical attribute. For example, Jeff “Red” DiCello, Roger “Worm” Wermeling, Bruce “Eddie” Edmark, Willy “China” Yee, Bill “Mountain” Griffith and Dan “Ozzie” Ausloos. You can see what I mean; they are easy to figure out how they came about.

Then there are those that are, simply put, good solid nicknames. Falling into this category are Glen “Munk” Ekern, Jimmy “Slash” Gentile, Fred “The Hammer” Parham, Jeff “Lumpy” Perrault, Brad “Chili” Breiling, Dale “Bear” Kolmos, John “Cool Papa” Schwarz and Steve “Blade” Hess.

Others in this group are Glen “Smooth” Marescalco, Tom “Bads” Beth, Dennis “Satch” Lumley, Sam “Finney” Perry, Steve “Beaver” Griffith, Dave “Smiley” Johnson and Gary “Juice” Andreucci. You would be hard pressed to find a stronger list of sobriquets for softball players.

The next group is the “head-scratchers”. These include the names that are just tough to figure. Take for example, Fred “Wally” Altergott , Ron “Nosh” Rossa, Kim “Roy” Myers, Jeff “Herman” Clark, Mark “Bwana” Issets and Ron “Mort” Zeith.

Certainly there must be a good reason for christening these players with these monikers. If you happen to know the story behind any of these, I would be glad to hear it.

For every hard-to-figure nickname there are those that are so popular that at least two players are attached to them. First are the “Docs” - Dennis Kalberg, Chuck Lange and Jim Nehls. Next are the “Rocks” or “Rockys” - Glenn Evenson, Domenic Tirabassi III, Dave Roehl, Rocky Witzman and Rock Jurvis. After that, there are a couple of “Cats”, Jeff Kaeppler and Russ Guerra. Finally we have two “Goons”, Mike Matuzek and Brian McGonegle.

Before I reveal my all-time list of great softball nicknames, here is my honorable mention list - John “Chops” Goodwin, Ron “Pig Pen” Greb, Tom “Buzz” Pinzger, Chris “Swammy” Wade, Rick “Cardo” Bloomquist, Kurt “Cooter” Sinclair, Jim “Downtown” Brown, Dennis “Tura” Lura, Chuck “Chooch” Portillia and Jeremy “Whammer” Kalbfell.

Here is my Top 10 list, in no particular order.

* Bruce “Hollywood” Meyers
* Gary “The Wizard” Peterson
* Danny “Love” McGonegle
* Larry “Laredo” Weiss
* Randy “Ducky” Aulwes
* Mike “Itchy” Griedanus
* Jon “Atomic Dog” Naumann
* Tom “Boom Boom” Keating
* Gary “Speed” Paskewicz
* Kris “Nightmare” Ray

To be sure, there are nicknames that were not mentioned in this column. Any of you Kenosha softball types are welcome to let me know whom I left out. Oh, by the way, thanks Harry, Arno and Ryan for that Puddles thing. Until next time…from the booth.