Survivor 23.12

Here’s your Official Survivor: South Pacific Recap Trilogy for week 12:

Mary Beth’s 2Cents:

It was Survivor business as usual tonight. A lot of jockeying for position was happening among the remaining tribe members with Cochran and Edna trying to make something happen that would keep them around at least one more episode. But first…

At Redemption Island, Ozzy reigned supreme in a challenge where he, Dawn and Whitney had to balance dinnerware and add pieces when Probst told them to. Dawn was the first one out which meant she was gone. Whitney fell next which meant the two of them were off to Jury Duty whilst Ozzy was the last man standing.

He made some speech about him being the perfect person for Redemption and made a Robinson Crusoe pose against a sunny sky. I threw up a little in my mouth!

Back to the tribe, poor Cochran realized he might be out next and made a plea, with a little white lie about it being his birthday soon, reminding them all how much he sacrificed for their sake and asking for their "gift" of another day or two.

Not all of them were feeling the grateful love, but Albert seemed to bite. Albert won Individual Immunity even as the others were labeling him "Prince Albert" because he does nothing in camp and even put out the fire in a half hearted attempt to show them he was doing something.

Cochran tried to use that to his advantage by telling Albert about his new nickname and Albert tried to get Rick (the silent man) voted out. But at Tribal Council, Rick spoke! I can't for the life of me remember what the heck he said but his mustache was moving up and down and sound was coming out of his mouth so he was speaking.

Then, Brandon started explaining about there not being any shades of grey in his game and then he had a good cry. What? Yes. It happened. I'm still trying to figure it out.

Anyway, nothing worked for Cochran and next week he gets to go head to head with the Wizard of Oz in the Redemption Challenge. Oh please, for the love of all that's holy, let Cochran win. I want to see that happen. I want to see the look on Ozzy's face when that happens. I want to hear the shear delight in Probst's voice when that happens. Please, please, please let that happen. Pretty please with sugar on top!

Jamie’s Prognosis:

Well I was kind of sad this week because, of course, I was rooting for Cochran and he got voted off. OK, OK I agree that it was super weird that he admitted that he gives his own mother massages. It was a Norman Bates moment for sure, and the following shots of his pasty white body on the massage table didn’t help much. But I STILL felt like other than Coach he is the only one out there who was playing any sort of a strategic game. 

So here is my take on the remaining six contestants:

1. Coach. I think I’ve made it pretty clear that I like Coach Wade. He’s goofy, I know, but I like his whole yoga on the beach, Zen like presence. Let’s face it! He has created a loyal band of Jesus lovin’ followers out there. It is a bit Jim Jones meets the Godfather, but the fact is that the “family” is still working for him. Go Dragon slayer all the way!!!

2. Sophie. She bores me but she is pretty smart and savvy. She’s playing it somewhat under the radar, while also at least maintaining some sort of a presence (are you listening Rick?). I feel like at some point that she could have the potential to make a big move.  I don’t think she really buys into the family thing but is rather just playing along. She’s still in the game in a strong way at this point.

3. Albert is real purty to look at but his behavior this week shows some vulnerability. While his biceps are great company, I don’t think that his people skills are much better than Ozzy’s. He acted this week like a… man. If you’re a man don’t get offended, but it’s true. 

You HAVE to do some “housework” to make it in this game knucklehead or people will get PISSED off at you. Sheesh. I don’t think he has what it takes to make it to the end because he doesn’t seem to have it in him to make a move that would give him an edge. He’s a follower at this point and he’s a little annoying.

4. Rick. He spoke some more this week. I have nothing else to say about him except that I still hate his porn ‘stache.

5. Brandon continues to be the resident tortured soul.  Lets face it; there’s a village missing an idiot somewhere, but they won’t miss him for long. By the looks of next week’s preview, he will continue to allow his cheese to slide off his cracker and will be yet another Hantz who won’t win Survivor. 

6. Edna. This season’s hanger on is above average in the annoying and useless department. She wears a weird paper hat on her head, has a bland personality and possesses very few useful skills in the wild. Maybe she’s anesthetizing all of us because when she’s on screen I don’t feel a thing. 

Out on Redemption Island we still have the great Oz, a surfer from Venice California who thrives in a world of his own but crashes and burns when he’s around anything without gills. John Cochran, a Harvard Law student, now joins him. Wouldn’t it be AWESOME if Cochran were the one to beat Cockzy and knock him out of the game?  I realize it’s a long shot, but a girl can dream, can’t she?

The Booth’s Bits:

Tonight’s episode was gratifying for a number of reasons. The start put a smile on my face and the end had me shouting, YES!!! Sandwiched in between were a few decent quotes and several uplifting moments.

The show opened with some small talk regarding whether Edna or Cochran should go first. By herself after the group discussion, Sophie admitted she just couldn’t take Cochran anymore and that she didn’t like him. Finally, a voice of reason!

The duel at Redemption Island pitted Ozzy, Dawn and Whitney in a plate-balancing contest. Here’s the Reader’s Digest version: Dawn let her plates fall and cussed. Whitney dropped her plates, so Ozzy won and got to stay. Dawn had to go home, she cried. Whitney was sent home and she cried. Ozzy told the members of Te Tuna, “See ya.”

Oh ya, one other thing. Whitney is mighty purty.

Between the Redemption Island duel and the Immunity Challenge we were treated to more of the bromance between Cochran and Benjamin (the Survivor formerly known as Coach). They did their silly little Tai Chi routine on the beach while telling each other how much they loved one another. I bet their babies would have prominent proboscises and have superiority complexes…

The Immunity Challenged involved a beanbag toss followed by some sling shot fun. By winning, Albert not only won Immunity, he was also rewarded with a shower and a massage back at camp. Host Jeff Probst told him that he could share his reward with one other tribe mate. He chose Benjamin.

He then amazed everyone and gave his reward to Cochran because he thought it was his birthday. Cochran was really lying about it being his birthday, but it was worth sinning because now he had more bromance time with Benjamin.

Seeing the smug Benjamin and the extremely pasty Cochran getting massaged by Island girls made me happy that Albert made the bold move. But I am willing to bet if Whitney was the one giving the massages he wouldn’t have given it away. She’s mighty purty.

Prior to Tribal Council, there was the usual scrambling. Edna knew her time on Survivor was growing short and was worried. Cochran, being a Harvard law student, realized that being Benjamin’s main squeeze wasn’t enough to ensure him sticking around. At one point he summed up his situation saying, “I don’t want to be Sharon Tate in this scenario.” That made me chuckle.

It should be noted that Cowboy Rick did the unthinkable on day 29 of this season of Survivor. He spoke. Swear to God. Not once, but two or three times. It was pretty cool. He even made a funny and referred to Albert as “Prince Albert”. I thought he played for the Cardinals…

At Tribal Council, true to form, the former members of the Upolu tribe stuck together and voted off Cochran. That’s when I shouted, YES!!! Evidently Benjamin didn’t love him that much.

This entire episode amplified my aversion for Cochran and reinforced that he is indeed nebbish. Tribal Council also made it clear that the only semi-normal people remaining are Sophie and Albert. Oh ya, Ozzy is still lurking on Redemption Island. But he’s kinda of freaky too. So I’m pulling for Sophie and Albert.

One last thing, did I mention that Whitney is mighty purty? She is. Mighty purty. I’m sure glad she is on the jury. Until next time…from the booth.