Saturday, September 3, 2011

10 Reasons To Go D’oh!

According to Wikipedia, “D’oh” is a catchphrase used by the fictional character Homer Simpson, from the long-running animated sitcom, The Simpsons. It is typically used when Homer injures himself, realizes that he has done something stupid, or when something bad has happened or is about to happen to him. I usually use something a tad bit stronger when I injure myself or if something bad happens to me. D’oh! is what I utter when reading or hearing something that I consider unbelievably idiotic.

Here are 10 reasons for me go D’oh!

1. The hoity-toity aristocrats looking down on those of us that put ketchup on a hot dog.
-  These same folks most likely enjoy ham and pineapple on a pizza. Lighten up Francis and put some ketchup on your wiener.

2. The contingent of basketball fans who think the NBA began when Michael Jordan became a Chicago Bull.
- Because the NBA is currently irrelevant, this hardly matters. What does matter is whether this group is aware that Ronald Reagan wasn’t the first President of the United States. I’m scared to know the answer.

3. People forgetting what Leonard Little did while continuing to vilify Michael Vick.
- Although I would never invite either of them to dinner, what Vick did to animals was deplorable and hideous. What Little did took the life of another HUMAN BEING. There is a difference.

4. Michele Bachmann, State Fair Corn Dogs and Elvis’ Birthday. Not individually, but together.
- Well, I suppose you could make a case for Bachmann all by herself.

5. Individuals refusing to understand that not everything in life is black and white.
- The time has come for people to realize most issues in life come in various shades of gray. The sooner people realize this, the better.

6. Millionaire TV personality Kelly Ripa worrying on air how much it’s going to cost to send their kids to college.
- The insipid studio audience audibly showing their concern for Ripa’s dilemma magnified the absurdity of this scenario exponentially. After a loud D’oh!, I vomited in my mouth.

7. Some White Sox fans still pining for Aaron Rowand to return to the pale hose.
 - C’mon folks, there’s a reason why he just got released by the San Francisco Giants. He’s not any good any more, face it.

8. Cub fans sincerely believing that Prince Fielder will be a Chicago Cub next season.
- Is it proper to use delusional and ignorant in the same sentence? I am serious about this. Very serious. Anyone who truly believes this knows very little about Prince Fielder.

9. Voice of the People letters in the Kenosha News signed, “Name Withheld”.
- If someone is too cowardly to sign their name to a letter, they should be required to sign it - Gutless, scumbag worm meat.

 10. People hating what they don’t understand.
- This news flash just in. There are a multitude of religions, political views, cultures and ideologies in the world! Everybody doesn’t think or live the same way as you do. To hate because you don’t understand something isn’t ignorant, it’s unconscionable.

Obviously some of these are much more significant than others, but for me they are 10 reasons to go D’oh! As always, your comments and opinions are welcome.

Until next time…from the booth.


Leplume said...

#2. The NBA did start with Jordan for me! That's because that was when it got interesting to watch! Now, not so much...lost all interest again. I'm fickle that way.

#3. Any one who commits an act of violence or torture or imminent death on any living thing should NOT be playing a professional sport and signing contracts for millions of dollars. We, as a society, should not tolerate that. Period!

#5. I'm with ya on the grey areas!

#6. Kelly Ripa...sheesh!

#8. Hey! We Cubs fans are not delusional. We are dreamers! And when we dream, we dream BIG! That's why we keep coming back year after year saying, "This time it's all ours!" and then later, "Maybe next year!" If we want to dream that Prince will walk onto the beautiful Ivy covered confines than who are you to tell us otherwise. It's like a religion, for that I now refer you to your #10. LOL

(How'd ya like how I turned that around on you! LOL)

Paul E. Vagnoni said...

Oh dear, Mary…