Saturday, March 30, 2013

My 2013 MLB Predictions

Okay, full disclosure: Absolutely no thought went into these predictions. These are all made with my heart, not my head. Please keep that in mind, this is how I WANT the season to finish, not how I THINK it will. So, with that in mind…

American League East
Baltimore Orioles
Boston Red Sox
Toronto Blue Jays
Tampa Bay Rays
New York Yankees

American League Central
Detroit Tigers
Chicago White Sox*
Kansas City Royals
Minnesota Twins
Cleveland Indians

American League West
Oakland Athletics
Texas Rangers*
Los Angeles Angels
Houston Astros
Seattle Mariners

* - Wild Card

American League Champion – Detroit Tigers

National League East
Atlanta Braves
Washington Nationals
Philadelphia Phillies
New York Mets
Miami Marlins

National League Central
Milwaukee Brewers
Pittsburgh Pirates*
Cincinnati Reds
St. Louis Cardinals
Chicago Cubs

National League West
San Francisco Giants
Los Angeles Dodgers*
San Diego Padres
Colorado Rockies
Arizona Diamondbacks

* - Wild Card

National League Champion – Milwaukee Brewers

World Series: Brewers over Tigers in 7 games. Prince Fielder named MVP.

There you have, my picks from the heart. Full disclosure part deux: Believe it or not, I was ridiculously close to putting the Chicago Cubs second in the NL Central. Not because I like them. I don’t. Rather, it was because so many of my friends do. I almost did it. Almost. Then I came to my senses. Go Brew Crew!

Happy Easter everyone. Until next time…from the booth.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Survivor 26.7

Here is the Official Bodacious Baldies Survivor: Caramoan Recap for week seven:

Mary Beth’s 2Cents: To be honest, I wasn't expecting much excitement in tonight's episode of Survivor. At some point, in each season, they hit the wall and there are two or three episodes where not a whole lot of action takes place. After the Brandon Hantz meltdown it stood to reason that the next couple of shows would be snooze fests. Still, Survivor does not disappoint. Even when there is a lack of action there is always something amusing happening which is why I watch season after season.

Tonight Philip was so full of himself that he almost became a cartoon. He started out by extolling the good folks of Bikal with statements of just how physically strong he really is. He even illustrated the point by arm wrestling… Cochran? I'm no expert on arm wrestling but I think choosing the one person with absolutely no body strength at all is not the more honest way to show how strong you are. I'm pretty sure I could take Cochran in an arm wrestling match!

The display of strength sure pumped Philip up though and he was confident he would lead the tribe to victory at Reward Challenge. It was a foot race of sorts with each person carrying 20lb sand bags as they were all tethered together going in circles. When the last person standing races to the end, he or she is carrying all the weight.

Philip took the lead position after much arguing and then, once there, proceeded to poop out right away. He wasn't able to run at all so they walked helplessly behind him as he struggled. He finally just fell over leaving Mike to try to get to the end. It was a miserable failure.

Back at camp, he played it off by saying “It was just a reward!” and somehow, pathetically, they all agreed. In the meantime, Gota is enjoying a Coffee Bar with sandwiches, chocolate and cookies. Malcolm was so happy he gleefully kissed everyone in the tribe causing a slight stir of jealousy to course through me. Wait… What? Um… Where was I? Oh yes, I was appreciating the fact that tonight's episode featured a lot of Malcolm. Malcolm strategizing, Malcolm laughing, Malcolm conniving, Malcolm just being gorgeous… it was a good night.

Being the smart hottie that he is, Malcolm started looking ahead and realized that in a merge he and the other muscly men (Reynold, Eddie and Erik) would be on the outs. He enlists Reynold and gets him to join up. Reynold's is so trusting he even lets Malcolm know he has an idol. Now Malcolm is sitting pretty to run this show since he now knows where two idols are and one is in his pocket!

At Immunity Challenge, each team had to row out to retrieve a statue. They bring that back to shore and set it on a base. They then grapple hook five keys to unlock the base and pull a rope to make it rise. First to the top wins. The first part of this challenge was even Steven. It wasn't until they started grappling that things fell apart quickly with Philip being completely unable to catch a key. Gota wins immunity and Bikal is off to Tribal.

Back at Bikal, Philip keeps telling Julia he wants to take her along but cannot guarantee how far she'll go. He also tells he not to tell anyone else so she, of course, runs over to Dawn to tell her all about it and Dawn goes back to Philip immediately to rat out Julia. This, naturally, makes the Special Agent pissed so he decides Julia should go next… or maybe not. Because when he hears Corrine talking about keeping Michael he doesn't like the fact that she is having an independent thought so he goes off the deep end and excuses her from the conversation entirely. And she goes. And the others all stand there and watch. So weird.

It seems that when Philip sees they are getting out of control all he has to do is mention that he played this game with Boston Rob and they all fall back into line. Cochran fears this will all come to a head at tribal but it doesn't. Everyone plays nice. They split the vote as Philip demanded and then, after a revote, timid Julia is sent home. It's just as well. She was the most nondescript boring people to ever have played this game.

Now I'm going to watch the Walking Dead marathon. Hmm, maybe Survivor would be more exciting if every once in a while a zombie herd stomped through camp eating the brains and entrails of the weaker players. Ah, nah… I would miss Cochran. LOL!

Vag’s Evaluation: While tonight’s episode wasn’t overly spectacular, it was satisfying on several different levels. First of all, there were two challenges. This, as Mary Beth well knows, pleases me greatly. Secondly, there were a couple of decent quotes. I always love a good quote from a castaway. Next, my feelings toward two of the favorites did a complete 180° turn tonight. Didn’t see that coming. And, lastly, I finally found my “girlfriend” for this season. Hey, Mary Beth has her Malcolm…

Let’s start with the challenges. The Reward Challenge was a Survivor Classic! The members of each tribe are linked together and must carry a 20 lb. sack around a large oval track in waist high water. The tribes start directly across from each other with goal being to catch up the other tribe from behind.

Because Gota had an extra member they had to sit somebody out. They decided on the lithe Brenda. Although she didn’t actively participate in the challenge, she provided encouragement with some very animated cheerleading. I know that it inspired me. A lot.

The challenge itself wasn’t much of a contest. The misfits from Bikal were no match for the young bucks of Gota. They made short work of Special Agent Phillip’s bunch with Dawn and Andrea dropping out and Phillip collapsing right at the end.

Want to know what they were playing for?

The victorious Bikal tribe were whisked away to a coffee bar on another island that put to Starbucks® to shame. Besides various forms of java, there were brownies, cookies and numerous other sweet baked goods all being served by two lovely island girl baristas.

The reward did not impress Dawn from the losing Bikal tribe. Not in the least. When she saw the victorious Gota tribe bouncing about (led by Brenda) euphorically, she sneered, “They’re gonna get sick.” Then, with a toss of the head, she added, “It’s no big deal. It’s a diarrhea-fest.” I wasn’t exactly hankering a brownie after that.

However, at the island coffee bar, that wasn’t the case. There was much joy as the Bikal tribe dove enthusiastically into their tasty reward. It wasn’t long before all seven members of the tribe were relishing the effects of their caffeine and sugar induced buzz. In fact, Erick passed out, while Reynold squealed, “Spring break! No Parents!”

I told you there were some good quotes tonight.

The Immunity Challenge was made up of rowing, diving, and more rowing and then grappling hook tossing. Surprisingly, Gota came from behind and had a chance when it got down to the grappling hook portion of the challenge, pitting Phillip against Bikal’s Reynold. Despite a valiant effort by the Special Agent, Bikal was once again triumphant. This meant Gota would be going to Tribal Council and voting one of their tribe mates off.

After the challenge, Phillip pulls Cochran off to the side for a one-on-one clandestine meeting. Checking to make sure that nobody can here him, he tells the startled Cochran that he threw the challenge so they could vote off the innocuous Julia.


The Special Agent took a dive to insure eliminating the weakest member of his tribe. Of course Cochran saw right through this facade and declared Phillip as fully delusional. I wasn’t quite as polite. I said he was full of shit.

It was at this point that my fondness for the amusing antics of Special Agent Phillip immediately disappeared. I mean, come on! It’s one thing if you want to believe your own bullshit, but you can’t honestly expect others to fall for it. Especially someone as intellectually gifted as Cochran. What an insult to brilliant nerds everywhere! I am now a fan of Cochran.

Yes, you heard me right, Jamie. I dig your favorite dweeb.

I am sure that Mary Beth reported that Julia was indeed voted off by the dwindling Gota tribe. I guess the Special Agent’s plan worked. (I rolled my eyes as I typed that.) They are down to five with a much-needed merge looming next week.

That’s it for this week… Oh ya, I mentioned that I had finally found a “girlfriend” for this season. It was tough, RC was a hard act to follow. Anyway, my new Survivor is the coquettish Brenda. I had been keeping an eye on her the last few weeks and the perkiness she displayed while cheering Bikal during the Reward Challenge was what did it for me. Well, that and the underwater shots of her climbing up into the boat during the Immunity Challenge. Yep, Brenda is my girl.

Until next time…from the booth.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Some Linebacker Talk

This past week, free agent linebacker Brian Urlacher and the Chicago Bears parted ways. The 6’4”, 258 lb. Urlacher was a popular fan favorite and played for the Monsters of the Midway for 13 years. According to reports, the Bears offered Urlacher, who had earned $8 million in 2012, a one-year contract worth $2 million, with only $1 million of it guaranteed. Urlacher’s camp had been seeking a two-year contract worth $11.5 million. The Bears weren’t interested in paying the eight-time Pro Bowler that much and are now in the market for a new linebacker.

Actually, the Bears are in need of several linebackers, currently the only one of note under contract is Lance Briggs. An NFL team, depending on its base defense, will carry a minimum of six linebackers. Most teams employ many more than that. Linebacker is a key position and vital to a team’s success.

For those of you wondering what exactly is a linebacker, I offer this brief definition:

A linebacker is a position in American football that was invented by football coach Fielding H. Yost of the University of Michigan back in the early 1900s. Linebacker is, arguably, the glamor position on the defensive side of the ball. They typically line up in a “two-point stance” three to five yards from the line of scrimmage, behind the defensive linemen. The job of the linebacker is to thwart the opposition’s offense by stopping the run, providing pass coverage and pressuring the quarterback.

All of this recent linebacker talk got me wondering which ones are considered the best ever? I found many lists ranking the all-time greats, anywhere from the top 5 all the way to the top 50. 

Going over the numerous lists was fun. There was a general consensus about which players ranked as the top 10 or 15 linebackers of all time. However, one list made me wonder if the guy putting it together didn’t start watching football until Urlacher was drafted in 2001. Or maybe he just did a lot of crack.

After studying these lists, I decided to come up with my own linebacker list. It wouldn’t necessarily be who I thought was the all-time best. Rather, my list would be my Favorite 5 Linebackers. A couple of them might shock you.

Before I get to my faves, here is a list of some all-time great linebackers that aren’t among my favorites: Andre Tippett, Bill George, Bobby Bell, Bryce Paup, Chuck Bednarik, Chuck Howley, Derrick Brooks, Derrick Thomas, Harry Carson, Joe Schmidt, Junior Seau, Karl Mecklenburg, Nick Buoniconti, Pat Swilling, Randy Gradishar, Rickey Jackson, Sam Huff, Sam Mills, Tom Jackson, Vaughn Johnson, Willie Lanier and Zach Thomas.

Those guys were all outstanding players; they just weren’t favorites of mine. Now this bunch never had a chance of making my faves list. Never: Brian Urlacher, Mike Singletary, Lance Briggs, Otis Wilson, Wilbur Marshall, Ray Lewis and Bill Romanowski.

If you need an explanation why the first five had no chance of being a favorite, you don’t really know me. I don’t care how good they were; they are way too “Beary” for me. As for the other two… I have a problem putting a thug who was an “alleged” accomplice to murder or a spittin’ cheap shot artist on my favorites list. But that’s just me.

Now for the guys that did make my favorites list. First, in order, the honorable mentions:

6. Dave Robinson, Green Bay Packers #89
7. Clay Matthews, Green Bay Packers #52
8. Brian Noble, Green Bay Packers #91
9. Jack Ham, Pittsburgh Steelers #59
10. Ted Hendricks, Green Bay Packers #56
11. Doug Buffone, Chicago Bears #55
12. Mike Curtis, Baltimore Colts #32
13. Kevin Greene, Pittsburgh Steelers #91
14. Chris Spielman, Detroit Lions #54
15. Mike Lucci, Detroit Lions #53

Did any of those surprise you? I don’t care if Doug Buffone was a Bear or not, you have to love Uncle Fuzzy. Now, without further adieu, starting with number 5, here are my all-time favorite linebackers:

5. Lawrence Taylor, New York Giants #56. Not only was L.T. one of the greatest pass rushing linebackers of all time, he did a little acting. That’s right, to go along with 132.5 career sacks, he appeared in ten movies. My favorite was the prison flick, “In Hell” featuring Jean-Claude Van Damme. In it, Taylor portrays an inmate named 451, a person whom everyone tried to avoid. Give it a watch some time, but be warned, it’s not for the squeamish.
4. John Anderson, Green Bay Packers #59. Anderson was named to the NFL All-Decade Team and is a member of the Packer Hall of Fame. While he was a very good linebacker, I wouldn’t call classify him an all-time great. The reason he is such a favorite is that I got to know him personally. As rookie, he was a salesman for Mid-City Sporting Goods in Milwaukee and sold the 400 Club softball team their very first uniforms. Upon retirement, Anderson became a sportscaster for WITI in Milwaukee. Since 1998, he has taught middle school earth science.
3. Dick Butkus, Chicago Bears #51. Yep, another Bear has infiltrated my list. Truth be told, if I were to make a list of the greatest linebackers ever, Butkus would be number one. He has appeared on both TV and on the silver screen. For a while he also tried his hand as a celebrity endorser. I was particularly fond of the job he did pimping the “Qwik-Cook Grill”, a grill utilizing newspaper as its main fuel, on TV infomercials in the ‘90s. Butkus is a devout Catholic and attends Mass on regular basis, just like legendary Packer coach Vince Lombardi did.

2. Jack Lambert, Pittsburgh Steelers #58. I loved this guy. In fact, I still have my football-shaped record “Madman Jack” from 1981. My favorite Lambert moment was from the 1975 Super Bowl, between the Steelers and Cowboys. The Steelers’ Roy Gerela had just missed a 33-yard field goal and the Cowboys’ Cliff Harris tapped him on the head and said, “Way to go.” Lambert took umbrage with this and body-slammed Harris to the ground, standing over him glowering. No flag was thrown, but referee Norm Schachter was on the verge of throwing Lambert out of the game. Somehow, the Steeler linebacker persuaded him not to. Like I said, I love this guy.

1. Ray Nitschke, Green Bay Packers #66. As much as I love Lambert, Nitschke is far and away my all-time favorite linebacker. And it isn’t only because he was one of the most ferocious and intimidating linebackers in NFL history. I have many other fond recollections of this Packer great, not the least of which was his part in the 1974 classic, “The Longest Yard”. Nitschke’s role was a bit a bit of a stretch for him. He portrayed a prison guard named Bogdanski who played a (are you ready for this?) linebacker on semi-pro football team made up of prison guards.

My earliest non-football remembrance of Nitschke was in the early ‘70s. My Dad took my brother Mike and I to see a charity basketball game between the Packers and a local team which featured some St. Joe’s athletes and faculty. What a treat it was seeing the 13-time World Champions up close and personal with Nitschke starring as team clown and chief antagonist.

The highlight was when St. Joe’s vice-president and head football coach stood at the charity stripe during a relatively quiet moment in the game. He was about to shoot a free throw when Nitschke snuck in behind him and pulled his trunks down to his ankles. The packed gymnasium erupted in laughter as the St. Joe’s bigwig stood there red-faced, attempting to cover himself with the ball, clad only in a jockstrap from the waist down.

My final memory of my favorite linebacker was many years after he had retired, sometime in the mid ‘90s. Once again, it was with brother Mike. Nitschke was signing autographs at the grand opening of an Ace Hardware store in Round Lake, Illinois. He was supposed to start signing at 11:00am, so we got there a good 45 minutes early. However, even though we were on the other side of the Cheddar Curtain and were almost an hour early, there was already a considerable line to see this all-time great.

At last, when Nitschke began signing, the line started to move. Slowly. Very slowly. It seems the linebacker was signing anything and everything people brought. It was all free, unless you had your picture taken with him and then it was only $1. Naturally, people were taking advantage of this generous deal, but this was ridiculous. Mike had to get to work that afternoon and was beginning to get concerned.

Finally we neared the front of the line and we were beginning to get excited. That quickly changed when Nitschke began hollering at the guy at the front of the line. It seems the oaf was wearing a Bears jacket and Nitschke took exception to it. In fact, the star linebacker told the fool in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t signing anything for him until he, “took the Bear shit off and put it on the floor.”

At first the clod thought Nitschke was kidding, but he soon did as he was told when he saw the scowl number 66 had on his face. Eventually, when all was said and done, we got our autographs and had our pictures taken with the Packer legend. We were quite pleased. You have to admire a guy with high moral standards like Nitschke.

There you have it, my favorite and not so favorite all-time linebackers. Let the snarky and remarks and comments begin! Until next time…from the booth.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Survivor 26.6

Here is the Official Bodacious Baldies Survivor: Caramoan Recap for week six:

After the excitement of last week's episode and the grand and strangely glorious demise of Brandon Hantz, I was hoping that tonight's show would have some follow through, some pop, if you will. What it had was a lot of chatter and not much matter. Of course, the initial blabber was about Brandon leaving as he did. Some of the comments were “he was a traitor” (Phil), “I never knew he hated me!” (Corinne), and “He wanted to go down in flames!” (Cochran).

The best line about Brandon came from Phil who said, “Even a Special Agent couldn't figure out what was in his head!” Corinne continued to be a little miffed that no one spoke up for her or Phil last week but, at the end of the day, the Faves decide to regroup – a move Special Agent Phil refers to as “Operation Thunderball”.

The surprise is on the Faves when they get to what should have been the Reward Challenge. Instead of a challenge there is more talk. Probst grills each tribe about their feelings about what happened last week. This leads Matt, from the Fans, to make a little speech about how he likes the Faves and felt really bad for Phil and Corinne.

Then Probst really surprises them. He gives them each an egg and tells them to break it over their heads or something and whatever color comes out – orange or purple – will be their new tribe. Lo and behold, the color gods are on Reynolds and Eddies sides because they end up on a tribe of young, strong hotties that also includes Sherri, Erik, my Malcolm and devious but strong-like-bull Brenda.

How can this be a bad thing? It almost seemed calculated that Mike, Matt, Corinne, Julia and Phil all end up on the other tribe. The eye candy factor alone is truly slanted not to mention the powerhouse factor! There is no challenge to be had this day. Instead, Probst gives them all more rice and new flint. God forbid anyone get hungry on this show anymore.

Back at camp, its all “Let the Politicking Begin!” and there's a whole lot more talking going on. Reynold immediately takes Erik aside to let him know that they were on the outside of the former “in” crowd and how he and Eddy would do anything they wanted them to in order to stay in the game. Erik has become a pretty savvy player and he wasn't really buying everything Reynold was selling.

Meanwhile, Sherri grabs the ladies and tells them all about how evil Reynold and Eddie are and how Reynold already had one idol and probably has another. My Malcolm is highly amused at how they all so quickly turned on one another. Over at the other camp, Phil the Pill is telling Julia that he is secretly running the world and he wants her on board. Then he turns around and tells Corinne he's been talking up the others to which Corinne asks aloud, “What kind of a Special Agent was he? He talks too much!”

They all talk too much. And they talked too much all night long. This is where my mind started wandering and I realized that Malcolm is getting far too little airtime this season. I might have to write a nasty letter to the producers about this. Now where was I…

Oh yes, finally it was time for the Immunity Challenge. In this challenge, two people had to run out to get a large crate and roll it back across the start line. Once all six crates were over the line, the teams had to build a staircase that spelled out “Fans vs. Favorites”. We've seen this challenge before. And honestly, the distribution of strength and stamina on this island is so one sided it was almost painful to watch as the new Gota tribe easily ran over the tired out folks of Bikal. Bikal was so tired out, they even sent old Phil back three times in a row to get the crates and he was barely standing upright when he finished.

Back at camp, Phil TALKED some more and gave them all a pep talk about how they all did their very best. Really? REALLY PHIL?? Because I saw everyone just give up. But they talked about it so that made it better. What??

Off to Tribal they go and there was more talking and more talking and then something weird happened. They voted off… MATT?? Where the hell did that come from?? In all the talking that went on throughout the entire show not once did I hear anyone talk about voting Matt off! He was surprised for sure! And, frankly, I felt like I got blindsided!! Maybe I was just lulled into such a stupor from all the incessant talking that I missed it. So strange!

Tonight’s episode started with the Bikal tribe breathing a heavy sigh of relief that Brandon was out of the game. Phil and Corrine moaned a little bit about nobody coming to their rescue when Brandon was going off on them, but it was no big deal. Then there was tree mail and everyone was soon assembled in front of award-winning host, Jeff Probst. He talked nice to both of the tribes and Matt sucked up to the Bikal tribe, particularly Phil. Everything seemed calm and pleasant.

Then it happened!

Probst shocked ‘em all with the old blindside switcheroo. Everyone dropped their buffs and smashed an egg on their head. Whatever color came out determined what tribe you were on. Purple meant Bikal, orange put you on Gota. Here are the new tribes:



My immediate reaction was that this new Bikal tribe might never win a challenge. Who did they have? Their male contingency is Phillip, who, although very entertaining, is certifiably crazy and about 60 years old. Cochran… well, he’s just Cochran. Matt is a hippy-dippy biker dude and Michael, who is a bit too flamboyant, are the other two guys.

The Bikal women aren’t much better. The only one worth anything is Corrine and she is snarky and vindictive. Julie is quite nondescript and Dawn is capable of breaking into tears at any moment. This group is hopeless! Like I said, this version of Bikal might never win a challenge.

The very first Immunity Challenge proved me right.

Alternating pairs from each team had to push six giant wooden boxes back to their area and pile them up to form giant steps that spelled out “Fans vs. Favorites”.

It wasn’t even close. Bikal tried to kill Phillip by making him go three times, two of those being back-to-back. It was so bad, Probst remarked, “Bikal appears to be on some sort of medication they are moving so slow.” He was right. Gota won going away.

After the challenge, there was the typical pre-Tribal Council posturing and jockeying going on at the Bikal camp. Cochran astutely determined that it would be either Matt or Julie going home. The only question being, which one would it be.

To be honest, Tribal Council wasn’t all that exciting. Just a bunch of talking and loads of overthinking. Matt continued kissing up to the Faves – Phillip, Corrine, Dawn and Cochran. When Probst asked Corrine what she thought of Michael, she declared with a big smile, “I have always liked to play with a gay!” Huh?

Then Cochran, always the thinker, said that Bikal had to stay united and work together because Gota was forming the “Bold and Beautiful” group and he didn’t see himself penetrating that bunch.

In the end, when Probst tallied the votes, Dawn received one, Julie had two and Matt got the other four and was the seventh person eliminated. I guess the lesson we learned tonight was that bootlicking and brown-nosing don’t always payoff.

Until next time…from the booth.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

What’s On WVAG Radio?

This past Friday free agent wide receiver Greg Jennings signed with the Minnesota Vikings. He signed a five-year contract reportedly worth a maximum of $47.7 million, $18 million guaranteed. The contract includes $45 million in base salary and includes a Pro Bowl bonus of $500,000 per season. The Packers’ plethora of talented young receivers, made it possible for the them to let this fan favorite test the free agent market. This freed up money for the 13-time World Champions to spend on resigning Aaron Rodgers, Clay Matthews III and B. J. Raji. So, good for Jennings and good for the Packers, right?


Not according to social media. The outpouring of comments on Facebook and Twitter was mind-boggling. The mouth breathers were out in force and the words “Us” and “We” were liberally sprinkled in their posts. Without going into great detail, there were two basic camps of thought. One was that Packer General Manager Ted Thompson was a stupid moron for not resigning #85. The other group felt that Jennings wasn’t loyal and was a pathetic, money-hungry bastard.

 Nice, huh?

It got to the point I had to ignore most of the venom being spewed on Facebook and shut off Twitter altogether. It was bordering on ludicrous. The dude is a football player that was often injured. He was off the field more than he was on it the past two seasons. I get it. People love the Packers. I’m one of those people, but come on! Really?

Unfortunately, the insanity carried over to Wisconsin sport talk radio on Saturday morning. Not wanting to listen to former alderman Ray Misner bitch and moan on WLIP, I chose to listen to Chicago’s 670 The Score. There I got Steve Rosenbloom reminiscing with the other hosts about emceeing the Jeremy Roenick roast the night before and how lewd and vulgar it was. When they started giggling about the number of “F-bombs” dropped during the event getting into triple digits, I had enough.

What were they expecting? He’s a frickin’ hockey player!

I decided to turn off the talk radio and listen to some Dropkick Murphys, Cranberries, Van Morrison, U2 and Thin Lizzy. It was theme thing. Get it? St. Patrick’s Day was right around the corner. Irish music. Oh, never mind…

While enjoying the music, I got to thinking. I know, kinda scary. Anyways, I was pondering what kind of programming I would enjoy listening to if I had my very own radio station. How cool would that be? That is a rhetorical question, no need to answer.

Thinking back, my pal, Pat used to have his own radio show back in the day, Instant Replay. It was on Saturdays from 11:00am to 2:00pm on WLIP and I never missed it. Even though it was sports oriented, it was really quite eclectic. He had a variety of musicians, authors and various other types of performers on the show. Because of Instant Replay, I was introduced to music and books that I otherwise wouldn’t have been. I miss that show.

Okay, when I win the lottery and get my own radio station, WVAG, Pat’s Instant Replay would definitely be a regular part of it. I would also include several of my other friends on WVAG. There are so many to choose from. Where shall… I start? Hmm…

I know…

Bringing back the tradition of old-time radio shows like “Our Miss Brooks” and Dick Tracy, friend Patty 4-Names could host the “Real Housewives of Highland Park”. It would be bawdy and scandalous. Trust me, this program would have to be on when children would not be able to listen.

I would steal TRadio from WLIP and give my friend Jim a full two hours to work his magic. That way he could incorporate an assortment of guests to help make this free radio rummage sale even more engaging. It’s not an easy thing.

Another friend whom I would like to employ at WVAG would be my Michigan friend, Sharon. She and her husband David would co-host a show called, “Muslim in Michigan”. I think it would not only be interesting but also compelling, perhaps even providing the station with a bit of notoriety.

A program that would most certainly be provocative would be “What Ya Gotta Say, Dr. J” hosted by my friend, Jamie. This would be a no-holds barred show with absolutely no limits. Jamie would have carte blanche to discuss any topic she wanted. Maybe I should be scared…

To balance this I would run a family oriented program called, “Britain’s Brady Bunch” featuring the Taylors of England. This show would center on Alfie and Elsie’s eleven children and their numerous offspring. The stories would be endless. I guarantee this show would make you both laugh and cry. It would be an international hit.

The last friend (for now) that I would want to feature on WVAG is my bald buddy Mary Beth. She is so multi-talented that it would be must-listen radio. Whether she was discussing Survivor, real life adventures about her job or even singing, I know it would be entertaining.

Filling the need for news, sports, traffic, weather and overnights, I would swipe the following people from their current media positions:

News – Bill Lawrence (1050 WLIP radio) and Vince Vitrano (TMJ4 TV)
Sports – Jason Wilde and Bill Johnson (both 540 ESPN radio)
Traffic – Roberta “RC” Saint-Amour (Survivor: Philippines)
Weather – Jesse Ritka and Michael Fish (both TMJ4 TV)
Overnights – Nick Digilio and Brian Noonan (both 720 WGN radio)

You may have noticed that there are no political shows on my radio station. Sorry, this is MY radio station, so you will have to go “down the dial” if you want that sort of malarkey.

I’m sure that if I dwelled on this for a bit longer I could add a program or two and make a few adjustments. But I’m not going to. This will be my programming for WVAG for now. I better make a lineup and let my friends know what time their shows will be on the air.

Until next time…from the booth.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Survivor 26.5

Here is the Official Bodacious Baldies Survivor: Caramoan Recap for week five:

Mary Beth’s 2Cents: Well, Holy Hotheads Batman! I hardly know where to begin with this week's recap! Tonight's episode started out pretty much like every episode – with the previous week's losing tribe returning from Tribal and venting their frustrations. Gota (the Fans) were doing just that. Then the next day they all went out and started searching for the Hidden Immunity Idol. Again, so easily found! Reynold just puts his hand in a hole in a log and voila! He's got it!

At Bikal, (the Faves) things were starting to take a weird turn. Brandon was losing his mind. He began by talking about living with passion and how his passion was his family and how he was selfish to just leave them all to come play Survivor. He asked that he be voted off next should Bikal lose the Immunity Challenge.

But wait!

The next morning, he's had time to think and tells them he is really there to play and knows he should stay! He also tells them that he was thinking of peeing in the rice and beans. Yes. Peeing. That's what he said. Cochran had this look on his face that said, “EW!” while he was telling him this. But wait! At the Reward Challenge something happens that makes his mind snap again.

In the challenge, two people have to hold a rope attached to a large net. Other people toss coconuts into those nets trying to make them drop the rope. Last person holding the rope wins reward for their camp. Brandon and Philip are the rope holders for Bikal. Michael and Matt are holding for Gota. Reynold starts targeting Brandon right away tossing coconut after coconut into his net.

Pretty soon little Brandon is shaking like a leaf until he just can't hold it anymore and BAM he's the first one down. This is the beginning of his end. The challenge goes on with Special Agent Phil being the last man standing. Bikal wins a beautiful spread of meats and veggies to barbecue.

Back at camp, everyone is talking and eating and enjoying each other's company rehashing the challenge and Brandon just sits there being pouty. He's seething with hatred for Philip but it's not really made clear why except that he feels Philip disrespected him in some way. He starts to go after Philip and Philip, to his credit, just walks away. This leaves everyone questioning Brandon's stability. Later, Brandon apologizes to Philip but Philip is now suspicious of him. Philip accepts his apology but tells him not to “bite the hand that feeds him”.

They all spend a completely cold miserable rainy night in silence.

The next day, Philip tells Andrea he wants Brandon gone. He even talks about throwing a challenge to make it so. Andrea, being an idiot who can't cover herself for any reason, lets Brandon know of it. This is when this episode reaches EPIC proportions!

Brandon goes completely apeshit. He rushes to the shelter and dumps all the rice into the sand. Then he grabs the beans and does the same. He starts to go after Philip, who again to his credit, walks off down the beach. Everyone stares at Brandon who is yelling at Philip, calling him the B-word many times and challenging him to a fight. Brandon has decided this was his way to “be the master of his own fate”! What? Yes, that's what he said.

At the Immunity Challenge, Brandon asks to speak directly to the other tribe. Probst knows good TV when he sees it so allows this. Brandon starts ranting about Philip and honesty and some other stuff that made no sense. Probst asks him to come stand next to him in order to keep him from going off on Phil.

Then Bikal does something unprecedented in Survivor history. They forfeit the challenge, giving up on a chance for Immunity, in order to get rid of Brandon. Amazing! Brandon continues ranting about Special Agent Phil, which sends Andrea into tears and makes Corrine grimace with stress. Probst finally makes Brandon leave the area by a circuitous route so he doesn't go near Phil. Gota is stunned but takes their Immunity gladly.

Before he leaves, Probst asks Brandon if this type of behavior is “in the Hantz blood”. Wait a second Jeffy. I am a HUGE Russell Hantz fan and while he was devious and a scoundrel he was also really smart. He would never have gone out like this. He would have worked his way through his tribe one person at a time and done it with all the devious class in the world.

Brandon Hantz may have the same last name but he will never be anywhere even close to the player and villain his Uncle Russell was. In fact, I imagine that somewhere Russell Hantz is wishing his nephew would stop going on TV and just leave the Hantz name to him!

Vag’s Evaluation: Well, back to only challenge this week. I’m sure that Mary Beth has already explained why. I can’t even write about the show like I usually do. This was insane. Literally. Man, what an episode. Truly unbelievable. I know that Survivor is “reality TV”. If it is reality and therefore, REAL, I am scared. Seriously. Scared for the wife of Brandon Hantz. Scared for the children of Brandon Hantz. Scared for the people who live near him in Katy, Texas. Scared for anyone who has to deal with him in any capacity. Hell, I’m scared for his uncle, Russell Hantz.


Brandon Hantz is bipolar. No doubt about it! Here is the Wikipedia definition:

Bipolar disorder or bipolar affective disorder is a psychiatric diagnosis for a mood disorder. Individuals with bipolar disorder experience episodes of a frenzied state known as mania (or hypomania) typically alternating with episodes of depression.

That is Brandon Hantz to a T. During the show I messaged this to my Fellow Survivor Geek Patty. She agreed and noted, “He’s a rapid cycler, too – the worst KIND!”

Rapid cycling, according to the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, occurs when a person experiences four or more mood swings or episodes in a twelve-month period. Brandon Hantz had a minimum of six mood swings in tonight’s episode alone.


Brandon Hantz made Andrea cry several times. He made Corrine decide to throw the Immunity Challenge. And the rest of the Favorites agreed! He made Dawn quiver so badly that Jeff Probst noticed the way she was breathing in an attempt to calm herself. He had Malcolm, Erik, Brenda and Cochran shaking their heads in disbelief. The deranged look he had in his eyes while he was spewing obscenities at Phillip was scary.

Even though we were deprived of an Immunity Challenge and an actual Tribal Council, it was well worth it because it meant that Brandon Hantz was no longer a part of the show. I know that it was probably edited to make it as dramatic as possible, but come on! Probst had physically restrain Brandon Hantz from going after Phillip. There was definite rage in that man’s soul.

I apologize for not recapping the show in my typical jocular manner. Hopefully Mary Beth’s portion covered what I glossed over. I just couldn’t get into it. The way Brandon Hantz acted on a reality TV show made me realize that there are thousands of others afflicted with this disorder. My heart goes out to their loved ones. I’m just glad Brandon Hantz is gone. I don’t even want to see him on the Reunion Show.


On a less serious note: Next week’s recap will be the first one featuring your freshly shorn co-contributors. Hopefully there will be new graphics in honor of our baldness. Until next time…from the booth.

Friday, March 8, 2013

A Memorable Winter Meeting

In 1977 the legendary 400 Club softball team was formed with yours truly calling the shots as the manager. We started out playing teams like Kerry’s Kritters and Tappa Hafa Kega Dai. Before long we were competing with the likes of Tirabassi’s, Finney’s and Pitt’s Decorating. Over the years, our team had its moments of glory, at one point rolling off 38 consecutive city league games. In addition to league play, our team also did well in tournaments, filling the trophy cases of tavern owner and sponsor Vern Ekern.

While the team made a definite mark on the Kenosha softball scene, it should be noted that it wasn’t only for their triumphs on the diamond. The 400 Club also had a reputation for being a bunch of rowdy renegades.

We were the proverbial square peg in a round hole. There were several colorful characters on the 400 Club. We weren’t always the nicest team and had gained some notoriety as the Oakland Raiders of the softball world.

That being said, there was a reason our team was successful, it was well organized. That was my job. I made sure entry fees were paid, that uniforms were ordered, that beer busts were scheduled and, most importantly, made sure we had players that were of “400 Club quality”.

Because of our rebellious reputation, it wasn’t always easy attracting new talent to our squad. Not everyone was comfortable being a part of a team with a bad-boy image. The ideal 400 Club candidate had to have skills at the bar as well as on the diamond.

Acquiring just the right guy was much too big a job for just one man; it was a team effort. Since I wanted everyone’s input, this was a subject that was discussed at our annual Winter Meeting. 

That’s right, the 400 Club had an annual Winter Meeting. Typically, it took place near the end of January, but no later than the first weekend of February. After all, our yearly beer bust had to be scheduled before the season started.

As you might suspect, the 400 Club Winter Meeting wasn’t all business. Adult beverages were being consumed while team concerns were being discussed. Then, once it was decided on which new players we were going after and the date for the beer bust had been determined, it was time to start doing some serious drinking.

Given the track record of our group, there was always the potential that the Winter Meeting could turn into a raucous evening of mayhem. However, by 400 Club standards, most of these get-togethers were honestly not very memorable.

However, one particular Winter Meeting does stand out from all of the rest.

There was about a dozen members of the team in the 400 Club on that Saturday night in late January. The only other customer was a guy who rented a room above of the iconic tavern. He was known as “Larry D” and sat in his regular spot at the far end of the bar and was nursing a tap beer.

It looked like a relatively quiet night for the bartender, Skip. He liked it that way. Skip wasn’t what you would call energetic. He wasn’t exactly a ball of fire. The less excitement, the better. He liked it quiet. Unfortunately for Skip, that particular night wouldn’t stay quiet.

Not by a long shot.

The “business” portion of the meeting had concluded and the guys from the team were relaxing with a few cocktails. For a 400 Club team activity, it was relatively subdued. That is until the front door suddenly exploded open and Mark Ekern burst in. Without any warning, he jerked Larry D from his bar stool and threw onto the hard tile floor. 

As a team, our jaws collectively dropped in astonishment. Mark was the brother of 400 Club stalwart, Glen “Munk” Ekern. Despite the fact that they were the sons of our sponsor Vern, they had nothing in common. Absolutely nothing.

Munk was, hmm, let’s see, I need to put this nicely. Munk was aggressive and loved confrontation. He was a big reason the 400 Club had the image it did. On the other hand, Mark was mild-mannered, unassuming and generally kept to himself. He didn’t seem to have a hostile bone in his body.

That was the reason we were so astounded. What could have possibly happened to provoke Mark’s physical attack on Larry D?

We got a clue when Mark hollered, “I told you to stay away from Bonnie, but you wouldn’t listen!” Bonnie was the eldest of Vern’s six daughters and a very sweet girl. Evidently, Larry D had persisted on hitting on her even though he was warned against it.

Mark had taken exception to this and let him know it in a very violent fashion.

The manner he used to express his displeasure with Larry D wasn’t for the faint of heart. He used his fists. He used his feet. He used tables, bar stools and anything else he could get his hands on. The enraged Mark didn’t give him a chance.

Larry D was helpless and could do nothing to protect himself from the onslaught. He was bounced off of walls and the bar, knocked to the floor, then picked up again so Mark could repeat the process. It was sort of like shampooing your hair.

Only it wasn’t pretty.

In fact, at one point, it got so ugly that it prompted Red DiCello, no shrinking violet himself when it came to fighting, to ask me, “Shouldn’t we stop him, Paul?” Having a soft spot in my heart for Bonnie, I said, “No, not yet, let Mark go.”

Finally, when Mark began to ram Larry D’s head into the heavy wooden base of a video game, I told Red and the rest of the guys that now was the time to put an end to the vicious beat down.

After things had settled down, Mark left, but not before reminding Larry D in no uncertain terms that he had better “stay the f*ck” away from his sister. Larry D, battered and bloodied, could only nod his head as he slowly crawled up the stairs to his room located above the bar.

While we were picking up bar stools and getting the bar back in order, a visibly shaken Skip answered the phone. After a brief conversation, he hung up the phone and announced, “Vern said to get you guys a drink.” The team roared its approval. Behind the bar, Skip just shook his head as he started setting up our drinks. Above the bar, Larry D tended to his wounds.

Yes, even by 400 Club standards, that was a memorable Winter Meeting.

This 400 Club Blast from the Past was first posted January 4, 2012. Until next time…from the booth.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Survivor 26.4

Here is the Official Bodacious Baldies Survivor: Caramoan Recap for week four:

Mary Beth’s 2Cents: Night seven and it was business as usual as Gota tribe returned to camp after a Tribal Council that left whiny Shamar and weakling Laura still in the game. Reynold started off having a glorious hissy fit telling them that they can never win without him or Eddie. Someone stated the obvious by pointing out that they weren't winning with them either so it was a moot point!

At Bikal, the Faves camp, Special Agent Phil was walking around giving non-alliance members names and inducting them into Stealth R Us. Brenda became “Serenity” and Erik is now called “The Silent One”. Brandon, who previously was delegated to a middle management/need to know position, was now promoted to “The Conqueror” and bestowed “All the special rights and privileges” that came with it. Brandon was not impressed. Special Agent Phil gives a whole new meaning to the word “special”!

The producers must have heard Paul whining in last week's blog about having the Immunity and Reward Challenges combined because tonight they were, once again, separate events. In the Reward Challenge, each tribe had to transfer two members of their tribe on planks to platforms and finally get every person on the tribe up onto a high, smaller platform. Right off the bat, Laura takes up way too much time leaving the Fans in a bad place with no way to catch up.

The Faves are seemingly unstoppable as they easily win this one. Shamar, who was on the bottom of the Fans pile on the platform actually thought they won for a minute. The prize? A day with a local Bushman to show them how to survive at camp. The Bushman they get is a 4-foot tall senior citizen in a loincloth. My Malcolm calls him a “Filipino Gollum”! He shows them how to cook rice in bamboo and makes them some chicken. He fixes up their shelter for them and then spends the rest of his time ogling and hugging the bikini-clad women.

Back at Gota, they are yet again lamenting another loss. All except Shamar who spends his days sleeping in the shelter. He tells them that he was going to quit but since he didn't they can now help him stay by bringing him rice three times a day. Wait… what?? Yes, he is making demands and conditions on his staying in the game. Of course, this irks everyone. I must say that I lost a bit of my admiration for Sherri for actually doing it! I mean, no matter that she wants his vote there is a limit to what anyone should take.

Shamar, somehow, gets some sand in his eye prompting Reynold to call him a “big baby”. It is hard to believe Shamar was a Marine, on active duty, through two tours of Iraq because he really is a big baby! During the storm, camp gets over run by rats and the next morning Shamar's eye is swollen shut. Probst comes in with medical personnel and it's determined that Shamar has an abrasion on his cornea and has to leave the game. Probst asks the tribe to come and say good-bye. Now, I've watched every season of Survivor and there have been several people medivacked off the island but I have never seen a more unemotional good bye as Shamar's. Nobody seemed to really care at all.

At Immunity Challenge, the teams must swim to a platform; climb up, smash a tile to get a key. Once they get 5 keys they open the locks on a chest and then chuck beanbags to knock wooden blocks off a rail. The Fans struggles, again and the Faves pretty much fly through this thing getting a huge lead right off the bat. Laura, as usual the worst player, has a problem opening locks setting the Fans even farther back. Special Agent Phil starts hurling beanbags like a mad man and gets way ahead. Reynold starts tossing bags furiously and almost catches up but Phil pulls through and Faves win again!

Reynold's frantic catch up opens up some of the eyes of his tribe mates and they see that he almost won it for them. Back at camp, this is not lost on Matt who starts talking about keeping Reynolds and Eddy so they can start winning something. This means Laura would have to go. Sherri is not happy about that because she can see that would leave only two women and she might be on her way out.

At Tribal there is a lot of talk about weighing the “physical strength vs. strong alliance”. Laura especially tries to make that point but Reynold says it best when he tells her she's actually weighing “winning vs. losing”. Just to be safe, Reynolds is forced to play his Hidden Immunity Idol but, in the end, Laura gets voted off! No one was more surprised than Laura! Personally, I think this was a good move and one that might shake things up a bit at Gota. Now, the game begins!

Vag’s Evaluation: Tonight’s episode started out with the Fans (Gota) bitching and moaning about voting off Laura rather than my cutie pie Laura at the last Tribal Council. Right away I thought to myself, oh crud another night of grumbling and whining with very little action. Boy was I wrong. We were treated to a little bit of everything. There were even two challenges this week, both of which were rather entertaining. However, they were not quite as amusing as the Specialist from Stealth R Us, Special Agent Phil.

The man is a flat out trip.

My anxiety of being handed a night loaded with oodles of dialogue and only a modicum of activity was relieved within minutes. After the drama at Gota played out, we heard “OY LULI-LULI-LULI” as the opening credits were shown and some commercials ran.

Then we were treated to that loony psychopath, Special Agent Phil.

For the next couple of minutes we were regaled in the outstanding lunacy of the Specialist. Nobody does it like Special Agent Phil. He decided to welcome some more of the Faves (Bikal) Tribe into Stealth R Us.

And what better way to make them feel welcome but to give them a custom title. The Specialist knighted Brandon “The Conqueror”, Erik was designated as “The Silent One”, while Brenda dubbed “Serenity”. The only one who didn’t get a cool name was Andrea. Seeing that she is from Wisconsin, I thought “The Head of Cheese” would have been fitting. Oh well, what do I know? I’m not a Special Agent.

Next up was the Reward Challenge. Hopefully my colleague, Mary Beth gave you some of the details of the actual challenge. I was more concerned with the actual reward – a visit from a local Bushman who would train the castaways, giving them invaluable tips on survival on the island. Honest.

When the Bushman first showed up, Brandon shouted, “Hey, look at our little guy!” One of the women squealed out, “He’s like a Filipino Jesus!” Okay, the guy was little. Malcolm figured he was about 4-foot tall. But he was cool. His name was Ta Ta and was hysterical.

No one understood a word he said as he chopped things up and demonstrated how to boil rice inside a bamboo shoot in only 15 minutes. But that didn’t matter. Everyone was cracking up; I thought Malcolm was going to wet his cargo shorts he was laughing so hard.

The only one not laughing was Cochran. He became jealous when the diminutive Ta Ta starting dancing the bump and grind with Corrine, Brenda, Dawn and Andrea. He was all over those girls like a bum on a baloney sandwich. This caused Cochran to lament that he could never get away doing that, that he would be called a stalker.

The next piece of excitement was when Marine vet Shamar got some sand in his eye. Before you knew it, Probst was there with a team of medics. When it was determined that he had two scratches, one close to his pupil, Shamar was sent home. Hmm, my friend Patty 4-Names messaged to me on Facebook, “Cheez, what a PUSS! Wasn’t he in Iraq? You’d think he’d had sand in his eye before!” I have to agree…

With the Fans down to only seven members, they limped into the Immunity Challenge like a wounded puppy. The Fans quickly fell behind and it appeared hopeless. Then, like a man possessed, Reynold put on a valiant effort to make it close. Unfortunately, he was matched up against The Specialist, Special Agent Phil and the Faves were victorious yet again.

At Tribal Council, it was the perky Laura that was sent packing. I guess it doesn’t matter how cute you are in Survivor if you totally suck in the challenges. But she was cute. Very cute. Heavy sigh…

That’s it for this week’s recap. Next week it looks like Brandon goes ballistic, destroys the Faves camp while cursing and calling people bad names. I thought the boy was religious? Oh well. Until next time…from the booth.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

The Return of the Sports Czar

He’s baaaack! That’s right, the mythological Sports Czar is making his triumphant return. Back in April of 2011, I did a 3-piece series where I declared that I wanted to be the Sports Czar. I wanted to control the four major sports in North America. I contracted and moved teams, and even made changes to the regular season schedules and the playoffs. Oh ya, I even altered some rules and procedures that I didn’t like. A lot of my moves weren’t so popular, but what did I care? I was the Sports Czar!

Recent events in sports have necessitated me reprising my role as the Sports Czar. The NHL was on strike. Again. Boneheads. The NBA, with its free agency system, is as predictable as a Harlem Globetrotters game. The NFL, under the guidance of Roger “I am God” Goodell, is being jammed down our throat 24/7 365 days a year. And MLB changes rules and alignments more often than some people change their underwear. Plus, everyone is doing performance-enhancing drugs.

With this rampant case of malaise enveloping sports, drastic changes have to made, and quick. And the Sports Czar is just the guy to do it.

Okay, maybe not that drastic.

In order to fix sports and make them more enjoyable, I looked back to a time when I had a greater love for sports. When things were simpler and less corrupt. Rather than attempting to lump all four sports in one era, I looked at each of the four sports on an individual basis.

Being a thorough and comprehensive Sports Czar isn’t easy.

Here is what I came up with, along with a short synopsis.

1975 Milwaukee Brewers
1975 MLB

National League

East Division
Chicago Cubs
Montreal Expos
New York Mets
Philadelphia Phillies
Pittsburgh Pirates
St. Louis Cardinals

West Division
Atlanta Braves
Cincinnati Reds
Houston Astros
Los Angeles Dodgers
San Diego Padres
San Francisco Giants

American League

East Division
Baltimore Orioles
Boston Red Sox
Cleveland Indians
Detroit Tigers
Milwaukee Brewers
New York Yankees

West Division
California Angels
Chicago White Sox
Kansas City Royals
Minnesota Twins
Oakland Athletics
Texas Rangers

There will be a 162 game season running from April to the end of September. Each division winner makes the playoffs. The NCLS and ACLS will both be best of seven series with winners meeting in the World Series. That too, will be a best of seven series. The only other change will be no designated hitters in either league.

1963 Green Bay Packers
1963 NFL

Cleveland Browns
Dallas Cowboys
New York Giants
Philadelphia Eagles
Pittsburgh Steelers
St. Louis Cardinals
Washington Redskins

Baltimore Colts
Chicago Bears
Detroit Lions
Green Bay Packers
Los Angeles Rams
Minnesota Vikings
San Francisco 49ers

There will be a 14 game season running from September to December. All games will be played on Sunday at either noon or 3:00pm CDT. That’s right, no Monday or Thursday night games. The two division winners will play in the Super Bowl on a Saturday night. The only other change will be no domed stadiums.

1970-71 Milwaukee Bucks
 1970-71 NBA

Eastern Conference

Atlantic Division
Boston Celtics
Buffalo Braves
New York Knicks
Philadelphia 76ers

Central Division
Atlanta Hawks
Baltimore Bullets
Cincinnati Royals
Cleveland Cavaliers

Western Conference

Midwest Division
Chicago Bulls
Detroit Pistons
Milwaukee Bucks
Phoenix Suns

Pacific Division
Los Angeles Lakers
Portland Trail Blazers
San Diego Rockets
San Francisco Warriors
Seattle SuperSonics

There will be a 82 game season running from October to March. Each division winner makes the playoffs and will play in a best of seven series. The Eastern and Western Conference winners will play for the NBA Championship, again in a best of seven series. The only other change will be a hard salary cap with absolutely no exceptions.

1967-68 Chicago Black Hawks
1967-68 NHL

East Division
Boston Bruins
Chicago Black Hawks
Detroit Red Wings
Montreal Canadiens
New York Rangers
Toronto Maple Leafs

West Division
Los Angeles Kings
Minnesota North Stars
Oakland Seals
Philadelphia Flyers
Pittsburgh Penguins
St. Louis Blues

There will be a 74 game season running from October to the March. The top two teams in each division winner will play a best of seven game series. The division winners will play a best of seven game series for Lord Stanley’s Cup. The only other change is any players fighting receive an automatic two game suspension.

Quite the draconian changes, huh? Remember, I am the Sports Czar and this is what I want. Sometimes, more isn’t always better. My philosophy is that quality is much more important than quantity. Sorry, Roger Goodell, I am Sport Czar. Even over your NFL.

Until next time…from the booth.