Saturday, January 25, 2014

Ginger or Mary Ann?

My blog today tackles that classic question – Ginger or Mary Ann? It’s a question as much about personality and hopes as it is about looks. Ginger had the va-va-voom figure, the sparkly gowns and the sultry Marilyn Monroe voice. On the other hand, while Mary Ann also had a lovely figure, she was as all-American as the flag. Ginger was the unattainable dream, Mary Ann the more realistic girl next door. Later in the blog, I will reveal whom I was more attracted to.


 But, before I do that, there are nine other groups of TV females that I will give my opinion on…

Saved By The Bell – Lisa Turtle, Kelly Kapowski or Jessie Spano? The truth be told, it was none of these three. It was Nikki Coleman from the early episodes. Heather Hopper who had a striking resemblance to my old girlfriend Michelle portrayed her. Google Hopper.

The Mary Tyler Moore Show – Rhoda Morgenstern or Mary Richards? Give me Mary. She had me from her days on the Dick Van Dyke Show. I think it was those tight Capri pants…

Charlie’s Angels – Kelly Garrett, Jill Munroe or Sabrina Duncan? This was a toughie. I went back and forth for a while. Then I remembered THE poster and it was easy. The winner is Jill!

The Brady Bunch – Cindy Brady, Marcia Brady or Jan Brady? This was much easier. It was Jan when I was in high school and forty years later it’s still Jan.

Monk – Sharona Fleming or Natalie Teeger? Another no-brainer – Sharona. She was also cute as Evelyn Gardner in A League of Their Own. Although, I have to admit, Natalie was kind of attractive as Sharon Carter on Two Guys and a Girl.

Saturday Night Live – Tina Fey or Amy Poehler? No offense to Amy, but it has to be Tina. What can I say? She’s Sarah Palin with brains. 

That 70’s Show – Donna Pinciotti or Jackie Burkhart? Despite Jackie being über-hot, I have always been a fan of Donna. Except when she went out with Kelso’s brother. Or that Randy guy. Bitch…

Cheers – Diane Chambers or Rebecca Howe? Diane gets the nod here. If possible, Rebecca was even more annoying than she was. Plus, Diane played the good-hearted prostitute, Belinda Keaton in Night Shift.

WKRP in Cincinnati – Bailey Quarters or Jennifer Marlowe? I’ll leave Jennifer for Burt Reynolds and take Bailey. She was just so gosh-darned wholesome.

And finally…

Gilligan’s Island – Ginger Grant or Mary Ann Summers? No, I’m not gonna say Lovie Howell. It had to be Mary Ann. I guess it’s for many of the same reasons I chose Bailey. You have to admit, she’s quite adorable.

Okay, I bared my soul and gave my choices. There ya go. What about you? Leave a comment here or on my Facebook page and let me know you would choose. Until next time…from the booth.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

For Your Information…

It’s been a while since I have been in the mood to write a real blog. Sure, there were the Survivor recaps and the “best of” Koos holiday offerings, but real blogs were few and far between. I’m not making excuses, but the whole book thing had me very occupied, that being said, here is a fresh blog. For what it’s worth… Every once in a while I am reminded that facts I take for granted are oblivious to many others. Perhaps its because I take these factoids for granted, but most likely it’s because it’s useless minutiae. I’ll let you me the judge.

For your information…

There is no word that rhymes with the word orange.

The phrase is “I could not care less.” It’s not, “I could care less.” If I have to explain it, it doesn’t really matter.

Being ignorant and being stupid are two totally different things, although, I know people that are both.

The Major League Baseball Hall of Fame has the final say on which team a player enters the Hall “as.” The players have no say in the matter. Sorry Cub fans, Greg Maddux will be inducted as an Atlanta Brave.

And to further enlighten the Hall of Fame ignorant, the bust of a player going into the NFL Hall of Fame has no team distinction. Sorry.

The remaking of classic sport-themed movies sucks. If you don’t know what I am talking about, check out the remakes of Bad News Bears and The Longest Yard. What’s next – a remake of Rudy with Will Ferrell in the lead role?

“Reality” shows are all scripted. You name it - Survivor, Big Brother, Hell’s Kitchen, The Bachelor, Pawn Stars, Real Housewives of fill-in-the city, etc. are all scripted. Except for Flavor of Love. You can’t make that stuff up…

The newer uniforms in the NFL stink. They are horrible. Prime examples – Jacksonville, Tennessee, Tampa Bay, Arizona, Miami, Minnesota, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Denver, Cincinnati, New England, Seattle and Detroit. I’m no Tim Gunn, but putting 10 pounds of crap into a 5 pound sack is never a good thing.

Whenever you order a “free” pizza using coupons that you have accumulated, don’t get your hopes too high. You can be pretty sure that the pizzeria is going to skimp on the toppings.

My all-time favorite Match Game celebrity, Elaine Joyce, is married to famed American playwright and screenwriter Neil Simon. Man, I wish I had started writing a long time ago…

Speaking of games shows, contestants on today’s shows aren’t as bright as they were years ago. Maybe not on Jeopardy, but on most of the new shows on the Game Show Network, the participants come across as empty-headed and even somewhat vacuous.

And, finally, I possess the uncanny ability to recall the uniform numbers of most athletes that I have seen play. Here are three examples:

Let’s start with an easy one. The 1970-71 Milwaukee Bucks were the NBA champions. These are the numbers of the eight players that saw a majority of the playing time – 1, 4, 7, 10, 14, 19, 20 and 33. It’s up to you to identify the players.

You want more? Here are the numbers of the starting eight position players for the infamous 1969 Chicago Cubs. Beginning behind the plate – 9, 14, 18, 10, 11, 26, 29 and 28. The starting rotation – 31, 49, 30 and 39. The setup man and closer – 37 and 27. Again, it’s your job to fill in the names.

Still not impressed? These are the numbers of the players that made up Vince Lombardi’s legendary World Champion teams by position. First the offense: QB – 12, 13 and 15; RB – 5, 22, 23, 25, 30, 31, 33 and 44; WR and TE – 80, 81, 84. 85, 86 and 88; OL – 50, 57, 63, 64, 75, 76, and 78. Now the defense: DL – 74, 77, 79, 82 and 87; LB – 56, 60, 66, 71 and 89; DB – 21, 24, 26, 40, 43 and 47; K/P – 34. Go ahead, start matching the players and their uniform numbers.

Okay, now that I have totally bored you, I better wrap things up. But before I do, I must present one last piece of information. It is perfectly acceptable to apply ketchup on a hot dog. Trust me, it’s quite delicious.

Until next time…from the booth.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Come And Get It!

For those of you who haven’t purchased a copy of More Kenosha Softball, I have good news for you! Starting tomorrow there is another outlet to purchase the book - The Kenosha History Center, located down by the harbor at 220 51st Place. It is also available online at and Barnes & Noble. But keep in mind, if you want an autographed copy you have to get it from me. Just message me on Facebook or via email at, there’s no charge!

Until next time…from the booth.

Monday, January 6, 2014

My Last Turn

For the past two years I have been writing a “My Turn” column for the Kenosha News every 13 weeks. Today was my last column. Because of the brutal weather, I’m not sure if and when it will be delivered; I decided to post it here. Also, many of you simply don’t get the Kenosha News.

             Simple gestures remind us of what’s really important

Tonight No. 1 Florida State takes on No. 2 Auburn in the BCS National Championship game. I suppose this means the holidays are now officially behind us.

Hopefully everyone had a wonderful and fulfilling holiday season. Mine was special for a reason that I never expected. I never saw it coming.

The holidays and especially Christmas have never been the same since my dad passed away on Feb. 3, 2010. For me, besides the obvious, there has been something missing since then. It was something that I just couldn’t put my finger on; an intangible if you will.

That is, until this Christmas.

The Saturday before Christmas, Kenosha Softball Hall of Famer Jack Zimmerman came bearing gifts. Along with a large poinsettia and a huge gift basket from Tenuta’s, he also brought a dozen red roses for my mother. Zim has always been a charmer and evidently has a little Eddie Haskell in him. And he wasn’t done. The best was yet to come.

As unexpected and gracious as those presents were, Zim blew me away with one final act of kindness. As he reached into his pocket, he told me that he checked with his mother and received her blessing. He then handed me an old baseball that had the following inscription: 

“6-30-1961 — Roosevelt Road 23 Kwik Kafe 0 No Hit, No Run Game Pitched By Jack Zimmerman”

Zim told me that he wanted me to have this treasured little league memento of his because of what I had done for him. He told me how important I had become in his life. Moved by this heartfelt gesture, I wiped away the tears that were streaming down my cheek long enough to ask if he would sign the ball.

After Zim left three hours later, it hit me. I finally knew what had been missing from Christmas for me since Dad passed away. It was a gift that I didn’t ask for or even need. Yet it touched my heart dearly.

That’s what my dad was all about. Whenever you asked him what he wanted for his birthday or for Christmas, you always got the same answer — “I don’t need anything.” Until Zim’s unselfish deed, I never quite understood what he meant. Now I do. You really don’t need “things.”

My dad was the greatest man I ever knew. He bravely served our country in World War II from age 19 to 21. People like him are the reason his generation is referred to as “The Greatest Generation.” He never intended to be a hero, but he was. And the most important thing to him was his faith. It was always the most important thing in his life. I so dearly miss praying with him in the morning. That is why I keep his rosary next to my bed.

If Dad wasn’t touching you with his actions, he was doing it with a corny joke or that silly look that he inherited from his pop, my Grandpa ’Noni. Dad had an exceptional ability to express his love without uttering a single word. You just knew he loved you. It was a wonderful thing.

I started this column by mentioning a football game. Years ago, Dad would often tell me to calm down when I would start hollering and stressing out while watching a Packers game. He would tell me that it’s not worth getting sick over, and that it’s only a game. Was he kidding?

At the time, I couldn’t grasp his lack of passion. After all, it was the Green Bay Packers! I knew Dad loved the Pack just like I did; he brought me up watching them. I just didn’t get why he never seemed to get as upset when they lost as I did. Well, now I finally do. Dad, after all these years, I now understand there are other things much more important in life.

Yes, the holidays are finally over. Jack Zimmerman’s no-hit little league ball is now in a protective ball cube on the shelf in my bedroom. And Dad’s rosary is still beside my bed. I will always cherish both of these items for different reasons. Now I get it.

                                              *  *  *  *  *

Until next time…from the booth.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Confused in 2014

My dear 80-year-old mother is a big fan of GSN – the Game Show Network. Or as she calls it, “the channel with the quiz shows.” A few weeks back I innocently asked her what she though of the new Newlywed Game.  She paused momentarily and then said it was okay but that she doesn’t watch it anymore since “the gays” were on it. Evidently, George “Mr. Sulu” Takei appeared with his partner and that was the death knell for the new Newlywed Game for Mom. I guess having “the gays” on the show was a deal breaker.

I thought better of getting into a discussion with her about how times have changed and what things are now acceptable. Mom is pretty set in her ways and I respect her beliefs and feelings.

However, it did make me think about how I feel about the whole Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender situation. I guess it is more important about how I react to the LGBT situation because personally I don’t understand all of it, especially the bisexual and transgender part of it. But I’m working on it.

The reason I said it’s more important how I react to the situation is because events this past week have made aware of how I feel about certain aspects of “the gay” thing. This in turn made me think about how I reacted to these specific events. Or, how I did not.

The first circumstance was when first lady Michelle Obama felt it necessary to congratulate “Good Morning America” host Robin Roberts and her newly acknowledged girlfriend, Amber Laign, as marks her stunning recovery from a bone marrow transplant.

“I am so happy for you and Amber!” the first lady tweeted Monday, while the first family spends the holidays in Hawaii. “You continue to make us all proud,” Obama added.

This confused me.

Was Mrs. Obama congratulating Roberts for coming out of the proverbial closet or for her valiant fight against her physical problems? If it was for the latter, I concur. As if it even matters what I think.

However, If it is for the former, I don’t get it. As most of us have, I have had several people in my life who have had to deal with horrendous physical hurdles. Never once were they applauded for their sexual preference. Why would that matter? Like I said, I don’t get it. I briefly talked about it with a close friend and let it go.

The other recent incident was the Internet rumor that Green Bay Packer quarterback Aaron Rodgers was gay. Wow, shades of 2003 when Terrell Owens accused former teammate Jeff Garcia of being gay. First of all, who cares? Secondly, why would it be termed an “accusation?”

Evidently there are people who do care. Check out this Facebook exchange regarding Rodgers being gay that took place yesterday:

Packer Fan to Bear Fan: “So you’re saying the Bears lost to a gay QB on Sunday? EmBEARassing.”

To which the Bear Fan responded: “Not as embarrassing as having a homo in the locker room.”

I’m not making this shit up. People in 2014 are honestly thinking this way. Homo? Really? I haven’t heard that used in intelligent conversation in the last decade or so.

To his credit, Rodgers brought up the Internet speculation during his “Tuesdays with Aaron” radio show with host Jason Wilde on 540 ESPN.

During the show, Wilde asked Rodgers about the negative aspects of being celebrity. Rodgers spoke about how hard it was to be “on” for fans, and explained why he did not like taking pictures while eating. He then addressed the recent Internet rumors about him being gay, a subject Rodgers raised without being prompted.

“I’m just going to say I’m not gay,” Rodgers said. “I really, really like women. That’s all I can say about that.”

Wilde, who was seemingly unsure how to address the awkward topic, said he felt bad about hearing the rumors because it depicted being gay as something negative, but Rodgers continued with the conversation.

“There’s always going to be silly stuff out there in the media,” Rodgers said. “You can’t worry too much about. I don’t. Just keep on trucking. I think professional is professional and personal is personal. That’s just how I’m going to keep it.”

Too bad more people don’t think like Jason Wilde rather than those knuckle draggers on Facebook. I honestly don’t care about what the sexual preference of a celebrity might be. I do care when the media makes a big deal about it. And even more so when morons think it’s their place to make negative comments about it.

Oh well, I’m still a bit confused. Happy New Year. Until next time…from the booth.