Saturday, January 29, 2011

Some Magnificent Mullets

While looking for a graphic for my last blog, The Big Bad Dog, I couldn’t help but notice what a magnificent mullet the Dog possessed. That brought to mind another finely coifed head of hair, that of Shambo from Survivor: Samoa. That was all the inspiration that I needed to put together this blog.

In honor of the hairstyle in which the hair is cut short at the front and sides and left long in the back, here are my favorite mullets:

Honorable Mention: Randy “Big Unit” Johnson, Chuck Norris, John Stamos, Rod Stewart and Mario Lopez.


10. Michael Bolton. A singer-songwriter who is best known for his soft rock ballads, his lovely tenor vocals and his dulcet tones. Quite frankly, he just creeps me out. A lot.


9. Brian Bosworth. A much ballyhooed University of Oklahoma linebacker who played a total of 24 games in the NFL. He went onto an equally mediocre acting career, appearing in a handful of low budget titles.


8. Jaromir Jagr. A former NHL star that played for the Pittsburgh Penguins, Washington Capitols and New York Rangers. I have over 750 different sports cards of his. You want them? I’ll give you a great deal.


7. Richard Dean Anderson. An actor who came to fame on TV as MacGyver. The resourceful agent was always able to solve any complex problem with everyday materials that he had at hand, including his ever-present duct tape and Swiss Army knife.


6. Andre Agassi. A former professional tennis player who was once married to actress Brooke Shields. Fellow former tennis great Steffi Graf is his current wife.


5. Hulk Hogan. A professional wrestling icon that is personally responsible for creating “Hulkamania”. However, the more accurate term for the grappler's hairstyle would probably be the “skullet”.


4. Duane “Dog” Chapman. A bounty hunter and a former bail bondsman. When the A&E tough guy isn’t hunting down ne’er do wells, he’s busy making babies. The current total is twelve and counting.


3. Patrick Swayze. An actor whose finest role was in the classic movie, “Roadhouse”, where he portrayed professional "cooler" James Dalton. Whenever I happen to come across this movie while remote surfing, I can’t tune away.


2. Shannon “Shambo” Waters. A former marine who went on to fame on Survivor: Samoa. A dirty old rolled-up bandanna and sweaty sports bra complimented her incredible hairdo.


1. Carol Brady. A stay-at-home mother who is the wife of architect Mike Brady. Together, they are the proud parents of Greg, Marcia, Peter, Jan, Bobby and Cindy.

Although these are what I consider to be the top ten mullets, I did not rank them. Rather, I left that crucial responsibility to my friend Jamie. She promptly emailed me a well thought-out list when asked what order the mullets should be ranked.

She even provided reasons for her rankings.

She revealed that Carol Brady had inspired her since childhood. Not only for her magnificent mullet, but also because she was a stay-at-home mother with a maid/housekeeper.

Being a fellow Survivor geek, it came as no big surprise that she ranked Shambo so high. Throughout the nineteenth season of the award-winning reality, I was constantly being reminded how much she loved Shambo.

Patrick Swayze was ranked third “because he was hot with or without a mullet.” She put the Dog next based on the fact that he was a “badass Christian”. I told you that these rankings were well thought-out.

Her reasoning for Hulk Hogan being fifth was because he was nice to her when she had met him in person. Michael Bolton finished dead last because “he freaks her out in a bad way.” She won’t get any argument from me.

There you have it, my top ten magnificent mullets as ranked by friend Jamie. Feel free to tell me who was overlooked. I know that I probably left out someone’s favorite. Oh, well. Until next time…from the booth.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

The Big Bad Dog

Yesterday while perusing the Weather/TV section of the Kenosha News, I came across the following blurb by Kevin McDonough of United Feature Syndicate:

“Part of the agony of watching a promising show die an early death is the knowledge that all too often the truly undeserving goes on and on. In this spirit, please note that tonight marks the 200th episode of Dog the Bounty Hunter.”

The gall of that man! Did he ever think that maybe some of us enjoy Dog the Bounty Hunter? Was he even aware that there was a daylong marathon celebrating this historic event? Probably not.

Perhaps he was just attempting to be snarky at the expense of those that choose not worship at the altar of American Idol. Different strokes for different folks, Kev!

For those of you not familiar with the show that Mr. McDonough was taking a pot shot at, here is the Reader’s Digest version of what this entertaining program is all about.

Dog the Bounty Hunter is a reality television show on A&E which chronicles Duane “Dog” Chapman’s operations at his job as a bounty hunter, at Da Kine Bail Bonds in Honolulu, Hawaii.

Each week his wife and business partner, Beth Smith Chapman, his children Leland Chapman, Duane Lee Chapman II, and “Baby” Lyssa Chapman-Galanti join Dog, working together as bail bondsmen and bounty hunters.


A typical show begins with a brief clip of the Dog and a part of his rather large family frolicking on a beautiful Hawaiian beach. Then it’s down to business.

At his Da Kine Bail Bonds office, the Dog reveals to his crew whom they are going after. After he gives a physical description, they discuss just how dangerous this person is and how they must be extremely cautious.

The next order of business is to “suit up”. This entails putting on a bunch of black stuff; bulletproof vests, gloves, hats and most importantly, sunglasses. The only exception to the all-black motif is Beth. Most of her accessories are pink. Go figure.

Now it’s time to chase down the bad guy. But not before they say the ubiquitous pre-hunt prayer. This is where everyone holds hands in a circle and the Dog asks Jesus to help them capture this dirty, rotten creep and make the world a safer place.

The next portion of the show deals with the tracking and the subsequent capture of their prey. Typically, the perp is violently thrown to the ground to a barrage of foul language that would make the most profane dockworker blush.

The final step of the process is for the crew to transport the ruthless wrongdoer to jail. Along the way, the Dog and his team will give their prisoner a cigarette, feed them, enter them into a rehab program and convert them to Christianity. It’s a beautiful thing.

Just as it began, the show usually ends with the Dog and the rest of the Chapman clan enjoying themselves in some sort of family activity. Remember, I told you that the Dog has a rather large family?

Here is a list of the Dogs progenies: Christopher Chapman, Duane Lee Chapman II, Leland Blaine Chapman, Wesley Chapman, Zebediah “Zeb” Duane Chapman, James Chapman, Nicholas Chapman, Barbara Katy Chapman, Tucker Dee Chapman, Lyssa “Baby Lyssa” Chapman, Bonnie Jo Chapman and Garry Chapman.

What a wonderful show! Now you can see why I chose to watch Dog the Bounty Hunter rather than American Idol. Nothing against the fans of American Idol, but to each their own.

Besides, it was the 200th episode of Dog the Bounty Hunter. And despite what that pantywaist Kevin McDonough says, I enjoyed it! Until next time…from the booth.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Gangsta Names

You can blame this blog on my friend Michael Chagdes. This is his entire fault, it really is. The other day he put a link to the Gangsta Name Generator. Yes that’s right, the Gangsta Name Generator. You simply type in a name and a Gangsta Name is miraculously generated for you. Honest. I’m not making this up. Actually, the thing is pretty cool.

Before I go any further, I should provide a couple definitions of “Gangsta” from the Urban Dictionary. That way everyone will be on the same page. Here are two of the better ones:

1. A sociopathic member of the inner-city underclass, known primarily for being antisocial and uneducated. Also known for ready access to illegal drugs and weapons, and staggeringly poor marksmanship.

2. One who willfully promotes and participates in destructive and self-serving culture in an effort to project a particular image of 'toughness' or to make oneself intimidating. Willingness to blatantly and horrifically misuse English is a necessity, as is a low IQ and sub-par education (or at least the appearance thereof).

Now that you know what a Gangsta is and how I discovered the Gangsta Name Generator, I would like to share some of the Gangsta names that I came up with for family and friends that follow this blog.

Gangsta Names

Sue Symes – Secret Ass Grabba
Beryl Cooper – Slippin Gorilla
Debbie Lammas – Fat Ugly Drug Smuggla
Mary Beth Lindqvist – Ribbed Shrinky Nutz
Julie Schuler – Heavy Buddha Balls
Jamie Cairo – Dances with Gatmasta
Pat Hegewald – Mista Biyatch Ass
Gary Schneeberger – Rank Dirty Chinaman
Greg Turco – Sherman Tank Guatemalan
Sharon Chilson – Slimy Shrinky Nutz
Judi Cornfoot – Rubba-Lipped Dung Beetle
Sharon Buege – Supa-Sprung Mule Robba
Karen Norris – Secret Canadian
Karen Rorek – Broken Rot Sloth
John Schwarz – Janky Bastard
Michael Chagdes – Chewy tha Guatemalan
Rose Chagdes – Slippin Pimp
Patty McGuire Moran Kilkenny – Drunken German Fool
Peter Pham – Janky Jimmy Jamma
Maureen Cox – Slippin Biyaaatch
Gus Cox – Threepac Prison Fish
Joe Vagnoni – Slippin Crab Whacka
Nancy Vagnoni – Tree Trunk Rat Snatcher
Janet Vagnoni – Rank Dirty Scratchy Nutz
John Vagnoni – Cold Canadian
Ann Vagnoni – Dirty Red Snappa
Susan Murphy – Heavy Buddha Balls
Milly Vagnoni – Off Da Hook Pud
Paul Vagnoni – Supa-Sprung Skull Cruncha

My apologies go out to those of you who received the more “colorful” names, but it’s not my fault. The Gangsta Name Generator came up with them. And, for some unknown reason, Julie and Susan get the same lovely name.

If you don’t believe me about these names, see for yourself. Click on Gangsta Name Generator and check it out.

On this site you can also generate Pirate, Mexican Wrestler, Pet, Taxi Drive and Mafia names as well. Being of Italian descent, I decided to run the same list and see what the Mafia names would be. I just had to.

Mafia Names

Sue Symes – Sabina Monkeyface
Beryl Cooper – Lucia Monkeyface
Debbie Lammas – Nina Costa
Mary Beth Lindqvist – Clarice De Luca
Julie Schuler – Silvia Greco
Jamie Cairo – Big Ass Alice De Luca
Pat Hegewald – No Brainer Jake
Gary Schneeberger – Fabiano The Snitch
Greg Turco – Giorgio Brassi
Sharon Chilson – Gina The Snack
Judi Cornfoot – Razor Blade Lana
Sharon Buege – Bad Breath Marta
Karen Norris – Epileptic Sara Barrow
Karen Rorek – Sandra Soprano
John Schwarz – Alfredo The Crank
Michael Chagdes – Decrepit Valentino Delucci
Rose Chagdes – Alley Cat Luisa
Patty McGuire Moran Kilkenny – Sabina Costa
Peter Pham – Chicken Fried Bruno
Maureen Cox – Luisa The Killer
Gus Cox – Salvatore Milano
Joe Vagnoni – Dapper Fabiano Delucci
Nancy Vagnoni – Busted Kneecaps Melissa
Janet Vagnoni – Green Luisa Rizzo
John Vagnoni – Angelo Barrow
Ann Vagnoni – Green Sheila Giamatti
Susan Murphy – Silvia Greco
Milly Vagnoni – Ruth Bruno
Paul Vagnoni – Decrepit Fabrizio Costa

Some of these Mafia names are worse than their Gangsta counterparts. I especially apologize to Jamie. Well enough names for now. Go to Gangsta Name Generator and have some fun. I’m going to listen to Nick Digilio and watch Roadhouse now.

Until next time…from the booth.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

American Idol?

Okay, tonight I bit the proverbial bullet and tuned into American Idol at 7:00. With pencil and pad in hand, I was ready to take copious notes and attempt to write a semi-humorous blog. But, what do I get? A mere shell of American Idol! No Simon Cowell. No Paula Abdul. Sure, Ryan Seacrest and Randy Jackson were still there, but Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler? Puh-leeze!

The last time I watched the show was in 2005 when Carrie Underwood, Constantine Maroulis and Bo Bice were battling it out for musical supremacy. Although I was never an American Idol geek, this just didn’t feel right. Something was definitely lacking.

After five or ten minutes it became crystal clear that this wasn’t worth watching. I know, I know; everyone watches the wacky auditions that they show the first couple of shows. Sorry, I wasn’t falling for it.

There is no Simon or Paula, so why would there be a Renaldo Lapuz doing “You Are My Brother”? Why would there be a General Larry Platt performing “Pants on the Ground”? And I guarantee you that there will be no William Hung singing “She Bangs”.

So now what? I was all fired up for American Idol and they give me this watered-down imitation. To say that I was underwhelmed would be an understatement to say the least.

I had promised to write a blog, but I was at a loss.

As I changed the channel to watch Dog the Bounty Hunter, it hit me. If they were going to change the American Idol brand, why not do it in style? Give the people something they could really sink their teeth into.

Bring back Chuck Barris. Bring back the sultry Siv Ã…berg. Bring back Milton Delugg and the Band With a Thug. Bring back the Unknown Comic. And, dare I say, bring back Gene Gene the Dancing Machine.

That’s right. Bring back the Gong Show.

Like American Idol, the Gong Show presented a contest between amateur performers of often-dubious talent, with a panel of three celebrity judges. The program’s most frequent judges included juicy Jaye P. Morgan, Jamie Farr, Arte Johnson, Rip Taylor and Phyllis Diller.

Just as American Idol has had a revolving team of judges, the Gong Show has its share of judges. In addition to Morgan, Farr, Johnson, Taylor and Diller, there was also: Patty Andrews, Pearl Bailey, Bill Bixby, Dr. Joyce Brothers, Joyce Bulifant, Freddy Cannon, Harry Wayne Casey, Scatman Crothers, Clifton Davis, Gary Mule Deer, Fannie Flagg, Wayland Flowers, Eva Gabor, Steve Garvey, Gloria Gaynor, Shecky Greene, Buddy Hackett, Pat Harrington, Harry James, Milt Kamen, Mabel King, Abbe Lane, Peter Lawford, Michele Lee, David Letterman, Shari Lewis, June Lockhart, Allen Ludden, Steve Martin, Pat McCormick, Barbara McNair, Scoey Mitchell, Louis Nye, LaWanda Page, Pat Paulsen, Johnny Paycheck, Mae Questel, Tony Randall, Charlotte Rae, Rex Reed, Joan Rivers, Mort Sahl, Soupy Sales, Ronnie Schell, Elke Sommer, The Unknown Comic, Bobby Van, Mamie Van Doren, Dionne Warwick, Anson Williams, Paul Williams, Chuck Woolery and Jo Anne Worley.

Pretty impressive list of luminaries, huh?

While American Idol has turned Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, Jennifer Hudson and Chris Daughtry into household names, the Gong Show has had its quota of talent cross its stage as well.

One of the biggest Gong Show-related show-biz successes was Andrea McArdle. Twelve-year-old McArdle appeared on an early show in 1976, shortly before winning the lead role in the hit Broadway musical Annie.

Among the other true talents that appeared on the show were singer Box Car Willie; comics Paul Reubens (aka Pee Wee Herman); Joey D'Auria (WGN’s second Bozo the Clown) and impressionist/comic Michael Winslow of Police Academy fame.

A band led by future film and television score composer Danny Elfman, called The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo eventually evolved into Oingo Boingo. Also, Academy Award nominated actress Mare Winningham sang the Beatles song “Here, There, and Everywhere.”

And finally, Future Super Bowl XXXV winning head coach and current NFL analyst Brian Billick also made an appearance, performing a routine known as the “spider monkey.”

There you have it. I tried. Give me the Gong Show and I will tune in. Unfortunately, I don’t think that is going to happen anytime soon. For now, I will watch Dog the Bounty Hunter and wait for Survivor: Redemption Island to debut February 16. Until next time…from the booth.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Meatballs

Next Sunday, January 23, 2011, the Green Bay Packers will travel to Chicago to take on the Bears in the NFC championship game. The last time these two teams met in the postseason was December 14, 1941 in a Divisional playoff game. That was over 69 years ago. That was exactly one week after the Imperial Japanese Navy attacked the United States Naval base at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. You get my point; it was a long time ago.

Despite the historic value of this game will, it hasn’t stopped the “meatballs” from doing their best to taint the event. Postings on facebook and comments being made on various sports talk shows have made me vomit in my mouth.

A longtime friend and Bear fan posted this on facebook: “Biggest Chicago Bears 1st half playoff game lead since 1941 playoff game vs. Packers, won by The Beloved 33-14.”

To which I responded: “Thanks for not saying "We", Randy.”

When he asked, “Paul, that is your big pet peeve, isn't it?” I answered, “Randy, when I see someone say, "We're kicking their ass", you don't know how bad I want to ask them what position they play. I have been very good and have restrained myself thus far.”

The “We” stuff is most prevalent on the radio. Here is a sample of the moronic comments being made.

We played the Packers and lost 10-7, but We didn’t even have our base packages in there.”

We gonna beat those guys, We looked pretty awesome today. Green Bay gotta look out for us.”

We stopped Rodgers when he had to win. We held him to 10 points.”

Don’t think the “We” comments were limited to the radio callers. Here are a few facebook postings:

“That’s why We won the division!”

We are kicking their ass.”

We are gonna kick the crap out of the Packers.”

We want bird or bear don't matter.”

The last post shows you that I wasn’t picking on the Bear fans. There are “meatballs’ from either side of the Cheddar Curtain throwing the “We” word around in a very cavalier fashion.

I will quit bitching about these “meatballs” as soon as one of them tells me what position they play or how long they have been coaching their team.

I will say with a great amount of certainty that not one of them has ever caught a pass, made a tackle or called a play for either the Packers or the Bears. So, please give me a break and quit using “We”, unless you have done so.

Although the Packers are the only publically owned team, there is nothing wrong referring to your favorite team as “mine” or “my team” even though you don’t actually own the team. Just quit using the “We” word. Please.

I leave you with a few unedited facebook gems from the "meatballs":

“yeeeeaaaah baaaaaaaabe!!! another victorious win for the bears!!! sorry seattle u gotta go and 4 all u packer fans ill tell u the same thing next week. Super bowl bound chicago bears.”

“Can't we all just agree that Green Bay is the suckiest sucks whoever sucked? I would go on but my damn wiener kid is listening.”

“Packers did not win, they were given the game, on interception....a little like kissing your sister...if the packers were any good they should have said…hey let me win by playing real football not coward football! Take that you Packer Mamby Pandys!”

Until next time…from the booth.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

BREAKING NEWS!!!

This just in, the two former players have been announced for Survivor: Redemption Island. Added to the cast are the Hall-of-Famer Russell Hantz and Boston Rob Mariano. It will be an unprecedented turn for Mariano. Hantz will be making his third appearance on the award winning reality show. Evidently the producers of Survivor realize what an attraction Hantz is. Love him or hate him, HE’S BAAACK!!!

Last year I jokingly said that if there were ever a Survivor Hall of Fame, Russell Hantz would be a first ballot inductee. Well guess what? There is and he was! Check out the article on Fancast.com to see how Survivor host Jeff Probst voted. Hantz was among the people he voted for.

A pretty impressive source, considering Jeff Probst is a winner of the inaugural Emmy Award for “Outstanding Reality Host” in 2008, a second Emmy for the same category in 2009, and the same honor again in 2010.

Here are some random observations about the 16 players competing with Hantz and Mariano.

• Ten of the competitors are from California. The other six are from South Carolina, Virginia, Wisconsin, Maine, Washington, D.C. and Tennessee.

• Andrea Boehlke will be representing the state of Wisconsin. The farm girl from Random Lake attends UW Stevens Point.

• Natalie Tenerelli at age 19 is the youngest female ever to compete on Survivor. Six others are between 20 and 30, four between 31 and 40, three between 40 and 50 and two are older than 50.

• When asked which past “Survivor Contestant You Are Most Like”, six and no answer or said they are their own person. Boehlke said she was a combo of J.T. and Parvati. Stephanie Valencia said “If Parvati and Russell had a love child, it would be me.” I like her style already.

• Each tribe features a former NFL player, Steve Wright on the Zapatera Tribe and Grant Mattos on the Ometepe Tribe.

What a day! Not only is it revealed that Russell Hantz and Rob Mariano have been added to the cast of Survivor: Redemption Island, but I also discover the Survivor Hall of Fame. I plan on putting up my own Survivor Hall of Fame poll. It will be located in the right hand column.

That’s it for now. Check back later to cast your vote for the Survivor Hall of Fame. Man, I can’t wait until February 16th! Until next time…from the booth.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Look What I Found!

Hey Fellow Survivor Geeks, look what I found on my facebook newsfeed this morning – “Meet the 16 NEW castaways of Redemption Island! Two former players have yet to be revealed!” Plus, two NFL players are in the cast. Is that great or what? February 16 can’t come too soon!

Here's a cast picture with some bios:


Zapatera Tribe

Name: David Murphy (31), West Hollywood, CA, Defense Attorney.

Hobbies: Sports, hanging out with friends and watching TV/movies.

3 Words to Describe You: Intelligent, thoughtful and sarcastic.

SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: I'd like to think I'd be myself and be original.

Name: Julie Wolfe (50), Oceanside, CA, Firefighter.

Hobbies: Outrigger canoe paddling, stand-up paddling and motherhood.

3 Words to Describe You: Hardheaded, outspoken and spoiled.

SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: Ashley from Survivor China. She was a strong outspoken woman whose mouth got her voted off the first episode.

Name: Krista Klumpp (25), Columbia, SC, Pharmaceutical Rep.

Hobbies: Water sports, traveling and running.

3 Words to Describe You: Driven, competitive and approachable.

SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: I thought I was most like Natalie White because we had such similar backgrounds, but I expect to play the game with a little more edge.

Name: Mike Chiesl (31), Del Mar, CA, Former Marine.

Hobbies: Scuba diving, football and golf.

3 Words to Describe You: Determined, disciplined and outgoing/outspoken.

SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: Rudy. Nobody was intimidated by him, so he wasn’t voted out early and he had the ability to tough it out.

Name: Ralph Kiser (45), Lebanon, VA, Farmer.

Hobbies: Hunting, hiking and traveling.

3 Words to Describe You: Determined, strong-willed and stubborn
.
SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: I'm probably a combo of Big Tom and J.T.

Name: Sarita White (36), Santa Monica, CA, Visual Effects Producer.

Hobbies: Travel, art and lounging around in various stages of repose.

3 Words to Describe You: Sagacious, wily and influential.

SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: Some strange combination between Courtney with her awkwardness in challenges and James with his kindness and blind loyalty.

Name: Stephanie Valencia (26), Long Beach, CA, Waitress.

Hobbies: Watching movies/plays, traveling and reading.

3 Words to Describe You: Feisty, unconstrained and ambitious.

SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: If Parvati and Russell had a love child, it would be me.


Name: Steve Wright (51), Huntington Beach, CA, Former NFL Player.

Hobbies: Photography, scuba diving and biking.

3 Words to Describe You: Honest, sincere and relentless.

SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: Tom Westman - just a pretty normal likeable guy.

Former Castaway – TBA

Ometepe Tribe

Name: Andrea Boehlke (21), Random Lake, WI, Student (UW Stevens Point)
Hobbies: Sports, theater, horseback riding, hunting and outdoor activities.

3 Words to Describe You: Hard-working, competitive and outgoing.

SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: Perhaps a mixture of J.T. because he is hard working and has a farm background and Parvati because she's competitive and knows how to have fun, but I'm also very unique.

Name: Ashley Underwood (25), Benton, ME, Nurse.

Hobbies: Basketball/sports, four-wheeling and helping out on the family farm.

3 Words to Describe You: Feisty, competitive and athletic.

SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: I'm not like anyone but myself.

Name: Francesca Hogi (36), Washington, DC, Attorney.

Hobbies: Writing, yoga and watching movies.
3 Words to Describe You: Determined, opinionated and stubborn.

SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: I would most likely be a Cirie/Boston Rob combo.

Name: Grant Mattos (29), West Hollywood, CA, Yoga Instructor.

Hobbies: Largemouth bass fishing, surfing and writing.

3 Words to Describe You: Outgoing, positive and friendly.

SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: ???

Name: Kristina Kell (46), Malibu, CA, Law Student (La Verne College).

Hobbies: Computers. 

3 Words to Describe You: Stubborn, logical and fair.

SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: None.


Name: Matt Elrod (22), Nashville, TN, Pre-Med Student.

Hobbies: Athletics, reading and exploring.

3 Words to Describe You: Mysterious, impulsive and deep.

SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: Any contestant who has played the game with honesty and integrity.


Name: Natalie Tenerelli (19), Acton, CA, Professional Dancer.

Hobbies: Dancing, spending time with friends and family, and trying to cook…sometimes this ends badly.

3 Words to Describe You: Determined, spontaneous and positive.

SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: Natalie White from Samoa.

Name: Phillip Sheppard (52), Santa Monica, CA, Technology Executive.

Hobbies: Chess, basketball, skating and sport training with weights.

3 Words to Describe You: Outgoing, articulate and determined.

SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: I am my own man!

Former Castaway – TBA

What do you think? Who do you like? Leave your thoughts in the comment section, on facebook or email me at: vag57@wi.rr.com. I will give my take later this week. Until next time…from the booth.


Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Local Shows

Today, as promised in yesterday’s blog, “K-Town TV Changes”, I will be elaborating on the local programs being shown on channel 73. Currently, there are ten such shows in the lineup, with more to be added when the weekend schedule is revealed. For now, here is a bit more on the weekday local shows.

Light ‘em Lenny will feature the bombastic radio host from WLIP, Lenny Palmer. He will provide commentary on local political issues and take your live calls. Parental guidance is suggested for this program.

Curmudgeon Corner’s cantankerous host Michael Chagdes will provide his unique opinion on a myriad of topics. The grouchy local guarantees that your life will be better for having watched his show. Parental guidance is also suggested for this program.

Shakin’ Up Kenosha with Dennis Shook was previously seen on the Kenosha Community Media access channel. This program will focus on a variety of issues in the community. Having appeared on this show, I can attest to its fine quality.

Bundy’s Big Bang will be a music show hosted by Joey Vagnoni. Local bands will be featured with the host also performing. Lots of guitars!

Local sports savant, Pat Hegewald, will host Kenosha Sports Talk. Hegewald offers his analysis on fantasy sports, the local sports scene and a wide range of subjects outside the world of sports.

Yours truly will host K-Town Classics. This program will present clips from TV shows that I enjoyed from days gone by. And yes, due to the enormous amount of requests, The Ray Rayner and Garfield Goose will be featured on a regular basis.

Survivor: Simmons Island will be Kenosha’s version of the popular reality show. Host Mary Beth Lindqvist will guide two tribes of local hopefuls on Simmons Island as they attempt to outwit, outplay and outlast in an effort to become the Sole Survivor.

Watch out Dr. Oz! What Does Dr. J Say? will be Kenosha’s answer to the popular medical advice show. Host Dr. Jamie Burhani Cairo promises to show Dr. Mehmet Oz a thing or two.

Tasting Kenosha will be a blend of all of Gordon Ramsay’s popular shows. Elements of Hell’s Kitchen, The F Word, Kitchen Nightmares and MasterChef will be combined Kenosha style. It was a major coup for K-Town TV to acquire the services of the iconic chef.

The last local program of the day is appropriately called Local and Live! Jim Selovich will host the variety/talk show, with a co-host that has yet to be named. A weekly feature will be the “Kenosha Got Talent segment”. Already named to judge this competition is Sharon Ekern and Patty McGuire Moran Kilkenny. I am still looking for the third judge, preferably of the male persuasion.

That completes today’s K-Town update. If you would like to be considered for the third judge of KGT or you have a suggestion, please leave a comment. My email is vag57@wi.rr.com if you want to get in touch with me that way. Also, if you would like to be notified when a new blog is posted, use the same email address.

Until next time…from the booth.

Monday, January 3, 2011

K-Town TV Changes

When I announced the launching of my new network in my blog, K-Town TV, I hoped to receive some response. Well, the amount of response was impressive! Several comments were made on the blog site itself, but the number of comments on facebook was overwhelming! There were well over 50, most of them coming in the first six hours of my initial announcement. Fortunately, there was a lull during the Packer game, but things picked up afterward well into the evening.

As promised, I am listening to your ideas and suggestions. Joan will be happy to know that the Dick Van Dyke Show has been flip-flopped with the Andy Griffith Show. Now she will be able to wake up to Dick every morning.

After much consternation, another tweak in the overnight portion of the schedule was made. Because Seinfeld is so readably available elsewhere, I have decided to replace it with WKRP in Cincinnati. Thanks to Reggie for this suggestion.

The names of the news shows have been changed. The will now be known as K-Town at Daybreak, K-Town Evening News and K-Town Latest News. The cast of talent will remain the same.

While I’m on the topic of news show talent, I am proud to announce the lineup for UK News – “Taylored” for America. Anchoring the British news show will be co-hosts, Bev Cooper and her sister, Sue Symes. Doing the weather will be Cooper’s daughter, Louise. David Taylor will handle sports, while Jake Lammas will give us a look at youth sports in the U.K.

That’s it for today’s update. In the days to come I will go into greater detail on some of the local shows being produced for K-Town TV at Luap Studios in Kenosha. The possibility for additional local shows on the weekend is also being explored.

Under serious consideration are: "The REAL Desperate Housewives of K-Town", “Let’s Talk Relationships With Gus” and “Terry’s Vaudeville Days” with co-host, Patti. Keep the ideas coming!

Until next time…from the booth.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

K-Town TV

As many of you know, Oprah Winfrey has recently launched her own network. It is called OWN – Oprah Winfrey Network. A tad pretentious? Perhaps, but when you are worth 2.4 billion dollars, you can call your network anything you want. Having your own network would be outstanding, wouldn’t it? So outstanding that I have decided to create my own network.

Since I am not worth quite as much Oprah, my network will be called K-Town TV and will be based in Kenosha. The local shows will be done at my Luap Studios located in lovely downtown Kenosha. If you are clever, you will figure out the studio name.

Here is the logo and the Monday thru Friday Schedule:


Midnight – 2 episodes of Seinfeld

1:00 am – 2 episodes of Cheers

2:00 am – 2 episodes of News Radio

3:00 am – 2 episodes of The Bob Newhart Show

4:00 am – 2 episodes of Wings

5:00 am – Barney Miller

5:30 am – The Dick Van Dyke Show

6:00 am – Leave It To Beaver

6:30 am – The Andy Griffith Show

7:00 am – TMJ4 Live at Daybreak – Kim, Vitrano, Gotter and Vitrano

8:00 am – The Newlywed Game

8:30 am – The Match Game

9:00 am – Light ‘em Lenny w/Lenny Palmer

10:00 am – Curmudgeon Corner w/Michael Chagdes

11:00 am – Shakin’ Up Kenosha w/Dennis Shook

Noon – Bundy’s Big Bang w/Joey Vagnoni

1:00 pm – Kenosha Sports Talk w/Pat Hegewald

2:00 pm – K-Town Classics w/Paul Vagnoni

3:00 pm – Survivor: Simmons Island w/Mary Beth Lindqvist

4:00 pm – What Does Dr. J Say? w/Jamie Cairo

5:00 pm – Tasting Kenosha w/Gordon Ramsay

6:00 pm – TMJ4 Live – Pathieu, McCrady, Fish and Needles

6:30 pm – UK News – “Taylored” for America

7:00 pm – Northern Exposure

8:00 pm – The Sopranos

9:00 pm – The Wire

10:00 pm – TMJ4 Live – Pathieu, McCrady, Fish and Needles

10:30 pm – Local and Live! w/Jim Selovich

I think it will be a great weekday lineup. Without going into great detail, the weekend schedule would consist of my favorite game shows, sitcoms and a mini-marathon from 5:00 pm to 10:00 pm. Marathons would include: The Three Stooges, World’s Strongest Man, King Of The Hill, Whose Line Is It Anyway? (BBC), Survivor and Hell’s Kitchen to name a few.

There you have it. Pretty impressive, huh? I will give you a while to absorb the concept. Feel free to send me comments and suggestions, as this lineup can be tweaked. Over the next few days I will elaborate on some of the “local” shows. So be sure to check back often!

Until next time…from the booth.