Thursday, January 31, 2013

So “The Big Game” Is Sunday…

So the word on the street is that “the big game” is this Sunday. I suppose it would be okay for me to refer to it as the Super Bowl since I am not advertising. How arrogant is that whole deal? You don’t hear the NFL bitching if a restaurant or tavern uses the “Pro Bowl” to promote an event the week prior to the Super Bowl, do you? I wonder why that is. 

Hypocritical bastards.

But that’s for another blog for another time. Today I would like to tell you how I feel about the Big Game or Super Bowl or whatever you want to call it. Okay, it’s the game being played in New Orleans that kicks off at 5:30pm on Sunday.

My new poll question reads – “How do you feel about the Super Bowl?” the choices are: Go 49ers!, Go Ravens!, Don’t care, no Packers and Don’t care, no Bears. It’s to the right of the blog, just below the archives. Because the question has only been up a very short time, there are only four votes cast and none are for the 49ers or Ravens. So far, nobody cares.

And you can include me in that group.

I was in the “Don’t care, no Packers” camp and I really don’t care. Depending on how the game is going, I can see myself turning over to American Pickers at some point Sunday night. And I’m serious about that. I can’t bring myself to root for either the Ravens or the 49ers.

Talk about the lesser of two evils.

While I am not a fan of either Harbaugh brother, Jim is easily the more repugnant of the two. I was going to say that he was douchier than his brother Jim, but that term has been overused ad nauseam. If repugnant doesn’t float your boat, try obnoxious, unpleasant, disagreeable, offensive, objectionable, repulsive, unsavory, odious, abhorrent, loathsome, insufferable, detestable, intolerable or putrid.

Take your choice, they all fit how I feel about the Harbaugh boys, but like I said, more so with Jim. After all, he is a former Chicago Bear quarterback. Under Ditka no less. I personally witnessed him kissing “da Coaches” ass after throwing am interception against the 13-Time World Champion Green Bay Packers in Soldiers Field. It was pathetic.

Therefore, based on my total disdain for 49ers’ head coach Jim Harbaugh, it stands to reason that I should be pulling for the Baltimore Ravens on Sunday. Right?


First off, they were the Cleveland Browns until 1995 when owner Art Modell, being the cretin that he was, moved the team to Baltimore. Not only did he change the name of the team to Ravens in honor of Baltimore icon Edgar Allan Poe, he changed their classic uniforms to a hideous, ghastly mess. Either of these are reason enough to prevent me from supporting Baltimore, but they aren’t the main reason I will be indifferent come Sunday. No, there is something else much larger that rubs me the wrong way about the Ravens.

Number 52.

Drafted the first year of the Ravens’ existence in 1996, linebacker Ray Lewis gained notoriety for his involvement in a January 2000 fight following a Super Bowl XXXIV party in Atlanta. The fight involved Lewis’ entourage and another group of people, and resulted in the stabbing deaths of Jacinth Baker and Richard Lollar.

Lewis and two of his companions were indicted on murder and aggravated assault charges. In a plea agreement, the star linebacker pled guilty to obstruction to justice in exchange for testimony against the other two defendants.

Okay, I wasn’t there and don’t know what happened that fateful evening in Atlanta, so I won’t judge Lewis. I can’t. But at worst he is heartless murderer and should be in prison. At the very least he is a worthless punk who ratted on his partners to save his own ass.

Either scenario, I don’t like number 52. I don’t like his stupid dance or his newly appointed position of being the favorite football player of our Lord Jesus Christ. Poor Tim Tebow. Just suppose that 49er quarterback Colin Kaepernick was a born again and pointed to the sky every time he made a long run or threw a touchdown pass. Then WWJD?

I don’t buy any of the Ray Lewis outrageous extravaganza forced down our throats and I can’t stomach the whole Jim Harbaugh persona of maximum intensity. Consequently, I will not be rooting for the Ravens or the 49ers. That is why I voted “Don’t care, no Packers” when polled on how I feel about Sunday’s Big Game.

Please make sure you cast your vote and let me know how you feel about the Super Bowl. Until next time…from the booth.

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