Tonight's episode begins with poor Laura B. feeling completely hornswoggled that she has been sent packing to Redemption Island. Her depression is short lived, however, when she reads to John and Laura M. that the winner of the next Redemption challenge will re-enter the game. The losers will just go home. I was briefly excited when I saw the challenge. I wondered if my strongly worded letter from last week had anything to do with the fact that tonight's Redemption challenge was a simple test of strength. The three competitors had to hang on a pole as long as they could. This was the kind of challenge I love and was hoping for!
The competition, however, was quite underwhelming. Anticlimactic, if you know what I mean. First John struggled his way out of his shoes and slid off the pole. Next Laura B. lost her footing and hit the dirt. Laura M. won, much to her daughter, Ciera's chagrin and I thought, “Meh…who really cares about any of these people?” I, for one, do not. Ciera was apparently afraid her mother returning was going to mess up her game.
I say, let the mess begin because then maybe something interesting will happen. Then Probst announced the tribes were now merging and he gave them all new buffs. Laura M. received the clue to the hidden Immunity Idol, which, like those before her, she promptly tossed into the fire. The symbolism of that particular gesture is lost on me now. If you're given a head's up, take it. Sheesh!
Back at camp, Ciera quickly takes her mom aside to let her in on the “plan” and to tell her to not play so hard or she'll get the axe. Laura M. somehow takes this to mean she is now in a “power position” in the game. Delusional much? Tyson goes off to find the Hidden Immunity Idol, which he does, in record time. At this point, the producers might as well put up neon arrows pointing to the thing. That's how easy it is to find it. Tyson actually stepped on it while he was looking for it.
Aras and Vytas have a brotherly moment where Aras lets Vytas in on the “plan” and Vytas tells his “plan” to Aras. Tyson tries to let Monica in on the “plan” but the woman wouldn't shut up long enough to hear it prompting Tyson to think of ways to kill her. She is very annoying and if he did kill her, THAT would be interesting. She has her dirty bikini bottom in a bunch because Tina tactfully let her know that she was #5 and that should make her happy. Oh that silly Tina!
The Immunity Challenge was a glorified game of Memory. Such a lame challenge! One by one they lost leaving the brothers, Vytas and Aras, to duke it out at the end. Oh the drama! But Vytas wins and off they go to Tribal Council.
At Tribal Council, I got totally distracted by Tyson's topknot Librarian bun hairdo! What was up with that?? He looked like a skinny, white Sumo wrestler who's top know was a wee bit too tight. Probst tried to raise some interest by poking at the old “which is stronger – blood or water” shtick but it was just more chatter and, in the end, Aras was blindsided and voted off to – Redemption Island? Oh dear lord, I thought we were finally done with that pretense tonight but NO…he gets another chance to come back to the game. Sheesh!!!
Vag’s Evaluation: Tonight’s episode started with Tina returning from Tribal Council and doing her best Laura B. impersonation. She immediately informs Monica that, while she is till in their alliance of six, the best she can finish is number five. Huh? I guess Survivor has Power Ratings now. I missed that in my Sporting News. What a dope.
At Redemption Island we are treated with Laura M., John (Candice’s wife) and Laura B. wrapped around totems poles. Whoever hangs on the longest wins and is back in the game. The other two smucks go home for good. John and Laura B. slide off first and are sent packing to be with their respective mates. Of course Laura burns the Hidden Immunity Idol clue. Great twist, Burnett.
After the duel, Probst announces that the tribes are now one. With the merge, the eleven remaining castaways are presented with lovely new purple buffs. And…you guessed it, another feast. The new tribe eagerly scarfed down sandwiches, salami, cheese and wine. Burp…
Before the Immunity Challenge, Tyson wandered off in search of a Hidden Immunity Idol. As they showed him strolling into the woods, I promptly vomited in my mouth. Am I the only one that is creeped out by those turquoise boxer briefs? Come on dude, but some pants on. Who do you think you are, Special Agent Phil?
Oh ya, he finds an Idol. At least he is smart enough not to let anyone else know that he has it. Those briefs must not be that tight.
Basically, the Immunity Challenge is a game of concentration. And Monica, Caleb, Katie, Tyson, Tina, and Hayden are quickly eliminated in the first round. In round two, Ciera, Laura M. and Gervase make a hasty exit leaving brothers, Vytas and Aras to battle it out for Immunity. Vytas wins proving that those drugs didn’t kill all of his brain cells.
When everyone returns to camp we learn two things. First, with no real explanation, the merged tribe will be called Kasmas. The other thing is that there are at least four or five alliances. Let me clarify that. Four or five “supposed” or “imagined” alliances. There is a two-word term for this. The first word is cluster. My mother doesn’t allow me to say the other word.
Tribal Council is pretty boring. If Probst wasn’t such a sneaky instigator, I think I would have fell asleep. Honestly. They blindside Aras and then Probst says something that totally pisses me off. “Aras, the tribe has spoken. But you’re not out of the game; you will now go to Redemption Island.” What the… I thought we were done with that failed twist. Man, how many more weeks are left of this train wreck?
Until next time…from the booth.
No comments:
Post a Comment