Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Decisions, Decisions…

Being a recovering TV addict, I face tough decisions every day of my life. There is the constant struggle whether to watch TV or actually do something constructive. Having a DVR only adds another element to the dilemma and complicates things more so. Now, not only must I attempt to avoid the temptation of excessive TV viewing, I must also resist the opportunity to record more than one program at a time. The lurid seduction of a potential multiple TV-gasm is something I that battle daily. Decisions, decisions…

Over the past few years I have been fairly successful in my endeavor to curb my exorbitant TV viewing. This was facilitated when my both of my favorite HBO series, The Sopranos and The Wire, came to an end. This enabled me to make better decisions.

For a while, my only television addictions were Survivor, Hell’s Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares and reruns of Match Game. My condition was steadily improving and there were fewer tough decisions to make.

Unfortunately, that has changed. My TV dependency reared it’s ugly once again and I am compelled to make more tough decisions. Again.

It started a few months back when my friend Jimmy G introduced me to the History Channel. I know, the History Channel doesn’t sound that bad. After all, history is educational. It is, isn’t it?

Well, it is. Sort of…

The programs that I became hooked on are Pawn Stars, American Pickers and American Restoration. I realize that these shows are not exactly documentaries about the Great Depression or the Roman Empire.

However, they are better choices than some of the other selections the History Channel offers, like Ax Men, Hairy Bikers or Swamp People.

So thanks to Jimmy G, I am now obsessed with Rick, the Old Man, Hoss, Chumlee, Mike, Frank, Danielle and Rick’s crew on American Restoration. Thanks a lot, buddy.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, another friend decided to muddy the waters by enticing me with yet another program.

For a long time my friend, Patty 4-Names, told me how I should watch That ‘70s Show. She said it was a wonderful show based in the same era we grew up in and on top of that, it was set in southeast Wisconsin.

She would frequently remind me when it was on and tell me that I should watch it. Despite her glowing recommendations, I never tuned in to the much-ballyhooed program, poo-pooing her suggestions. I had decided that I just couldn’t get fixated on another TV show, not even That Show. I was gonna be firm this time.

Ya, you guessed it.

I am now strung out on That ‘70s Show. Strung out bad. I can’t help it, though. Every time I change the channel it’s on. Today alone there are 12 different episodes airing. It’s on channel 24, MTV, Nick at Nite and the Family Channel.

There is just no way to avoid it.

The thing is, I don’t want to avoid it. It is a marvelous show. Patty was right. It does indeed bring back many fond memories of growing up as a teenager here in Wisconsin. Heck, they even mention Kenosha all the time.

Each afternoon, I can’t wait to tune in and find out what wacky high jinks Eric, Donna, Michael, Jackie, Hyde and Fez are going to get themselves into. Then I wait anxiously to see how Red, Kitty, Bob and Midge are gonna handle those crazy kids. The hilarity ensues.

Compliments of my friend Patty, it’s official. I have become a That ‘70s Show Junkie. Way to go, 4-Names, I hope you’re happy now.

There you have it, thanks to two of my friends, I am again required to make an increased number of decisions concerning my compulsive TV habit. Hopefully there is a 12-step program to help get this monkey off my back.

I need to get going. I have to decide which show to watch live and which one to DVR tomorrow night, American Restoration or Dog the Bounty Hunter. Decisions, decisions…

Until next time…from the booth.

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