A Few Of My Least Favorite Things

Recently I have been feeling a bit verklempt and when you throw in a bad case of sinus-induced congestion, I really don’t feel like thinking or even writing for that matter. Like any red-blooded man, when I am not feeling up to snuff, my male instincts take over. The whining and complaining starts with a huge dose of bitching and moaning. So rather than writing an entertaining tale about Koos Inc. or The 400 Club, I have decided to simply make a list of things that either annoy me or that I just don’t like. Yes, I am going to bitch and moan. These are a few of my least favorite things.

Mayonnaise or Miracle Whip. I can’t tell the difference, they both activate my gag reflex. Pretty unusual for a man of girth such as myself, don’t you think?

The Chicago Cubs, St. Louis Cardinals, Chicago Bears, Minnesota Vikings and the Chicago Bulls. No explanation needed here, my feelings towards these particular teams have been well documented on this very blog.

People who think men should never cry. I have cried plenty since February 3 and I cry each time I watch the movie Bang The Drum Slowly. I have to wonder about any person who never cries.

Onions on pizza. Pizza is like sex, even when it’s bad it’s still pretty good. Except for when onions enter the equation, then all bets are off.

The Doug and Mike Show. I admittedly listen to an inordinate amount of sports talk radio, but the two giggling frat boys on 1250 WSSP are not a part of my regular listening rotation. Give me those “fat, boring white guys” from 540 ESPN any day.

Politics. The best way to start an argument is to bring up politics. Don’t get me wrong, I do my patriotic duty and vote regularly. I just don’t possess the passion that some of my family and friends have for the political scene.

American Idol. The last time I watched this show, Carrie Underwood beat out some Rock ‘n’ Roll guy in season 4. Time spent watching the next four totals less than two hours. The amount of time spent viewing the current season – zero.

Jay Leno. I was not a fan of Leno before the late night wars started. After he weaseled his way back onto the Tonight Show at 10:35 p.m., my opinion of him dropped even more. If that’s possible.

People who admire Donald Trump. Please understand; I think that “The Donald” is an insufferable, self-serving blowhard. However, people who fawn over him are in a category all their own.

NCAA Basketball Tournament. Many of you are probably shocked, knowing my obsession with sports. So I will explain. I only hate March Madness on the first Thursday of the tournament when it preempts Survivor. The audacity!

People who say you shouldn’t put ketchup on hot dogs. I know it’s a “Chicago thing”, but I happen to like ketchup on my franks, thank you. You don’t hear me telling people not to put that glow in the dark relish on their wiener, do you?

Close-minded people. It worries me when a person believes that they always know best. But it bothers me when they won’t even listen to the other side of the argument. Nobody is always right.

Even though I could come up with a few more, that’s enough bitching and moaning for one day. Please keep in mind that although I am not fond of these things, it’s only my opinion…for what that’s worth.

I fully understand that many people feel just the opposite and that’s okay with me. After all, I’m not close-minded. These just happened to be a few of my least favorite things. Until next time…from the booth.