Last Wednesday marked the opening night of Survivor: Nicaragua. My first blog chronicled the demise of Wendy Jo the insane goat farmer from the Espada tribe. I mentioned that Wendy Jo was a bit manic. At that time I thought she had set the “Psycho” bar pretty high for season 21 of the award-winning reality show. Boy was I wrong!
Note: from now on the older tribe, Espada will be referred to as the Old Farts. La Flor, the young tribe will be known as the Young Snots.
The episode tonight quickly established two new nutcases from the Old Farts gang. First there is Holly. She didn’t like the way Dan the mafia boss looked at her, so she filled his $1600 alligator shoes with sand and left them in the water. He is lunatic number two for bringing shoes that expensive to compete on Survivor.
At this point I was assuming that the Old Farts had cornered the market on crackpots. Boy was I wrong again!
When the Young Snots tribe lost the Immunity/Reward Challenge, they lost much more than Immunity, a treasure chest loaded with fishing gear and a clue to the Hidden Immunity Idol. They also lost their frickin’ minds!!!
At Tribal Council they collectively left host Jeff Probst stunned with his mouth hanging open. And that was in the first sixty seconds! Although they came unhinged as a group, there were four Young Snots that really stood out.
Chase quickly proved he was a spineless jellyfish as he sputtered and stammered while trying to explain whom he was going to be loyal to.
Fabio was, well he was just Fabio. He really isn’t very bright and proved it every time he opened his mouth. Nothing but stupidity comes out of his mouth, which only infuriates the angry black woman.
Ah yes, the angry black woman. That would be Nay who stole Fabio’s socks because she couldn’t find one of hers. You ask why Fabio? Because she doesn’t like him, that’s why. And she announced it in grandiose fashion at Tribal Council.
Quite a representation of the youth of America. But wait; remember I said there were four fools from the Young Snots tribe that were head and shoulders above the rest. The fourth member of this moronic quartet is Shannon the douche bag.
I know, that’s pretty strong language, but if you witnessed his performance at Tribal Council you would probably say I was going easy on him.
Right out of the box he told Chase the spineless that if he didn’t vote his girlfriend (Brenda) off, he would be next. I believe this caused Chase to wet himself.
When Sash told him to calm down, Shannon the douche bag promptly asked him if he was gay. Repeatedly. At that point, I blurted out, “What the f*ck?” This ignoramus was totally out of control.
All kidding aside, the real sad part of all of this is that this loud-mouthed, homophobic jerk is the father of three young children. Let’s just hope that their mother was smart enough not to let them watch their father’s brainless display.
To their credit, the Young Snots mustered up enough sense to vote off Shannon. It had to be done. Although it did amaze me that two imbeciles went along with him and cast votes for Brenda.
So where are we after two weeks? The Old Farts have eliminated their half-baked goat farmer, while the Young Snots disposed of their douche bag. Surely things will be a bit calmer next week. Oh wait, maybe not. I almost forgot that the coming attractions showed Nay the angry black woman threatening to beat amputee Kelly B. with her prosthetic leg. I can’t wait.
Until next time…from the booth.