Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Survivor 26.10

I’m flying solo tonight because Mary Beth is away on assingment, so here is Vag’s Evaluation for Survivor: Caramoan week ten:

Not sure what to say. This might have been one of the most satisfying episodes of Survivor in quite a while. I’m not talking about just this season either. I mean it was the most gratifying in a very long time, and on so many different levels.

First, let me say it made me quite happy by having both a Reward and Immunity Challenge. None of that Reward/Immunity Challenge combo garbage tonight. As an added bonus, both of the challenges were exciting and of a physical nature.

While two good challenges always please me, it was some of the other elements of tonight’s episode that made it so notable. And one of these elements occurred almost immediately.

The show opened with Dawn freaking out and crying. That in itself isn’t anything unusual. It happens all the time. What made this breakdown uncommon was that she was screaming for help, telling the others to hurry, to run.

Only thing, nobody did. Except for Brenda. She was the only one of the nine castaways that answered Dawn’s frantic cries for help. Yes, indeed. When Brenda heard Dawn was in peril, she took off running.

That is when tonight’s episode first became special.

As Brenda raced through the woods to get to the beach, the cameraman ran behind her to follow the action. The operative word is behind. Survivor hasn’t demonstrated such cinematographic excellence since RC ran along the beach last season. That cameraman deserves some sort of reward for capturing every undulating moment of Brenda’s mad dash to aid the panicking Dawn. If I wasn’t so giddy, I do believe I would have gotten misty.

When Brenda arrived, it seemed that Dawn had lost her retainer in the water and couldn’t go on unless she found it. She is sobbing and talking about pulling out of the game. Remember, Dawn is a bit of an emotional wreck.

Anyways, Brenda dives into the water to search for the grief-stricken Dawn’s choppers. This provides more camera time for Brenda’s lovely derrière, which in turn raises the episode’s excellence quotient. Unbelievably, she finds Dawns retainer and saves the day. Not only does Brenda possess a fine keester, she is a master diver!

Please don’t think it was only Brenda’s attractive caboose that made tonight’s episode so outstanding, there was plenty more.

Earlier I had mentioned the two challenges. The Reward Challenge split the Enil Edam tribe into two teams of five. The Purple team consisted of Reynold, Erik, Dawn, Cochran and Special Agent Phil. The Orange squad was made up of Eddie, Malcolm, Andrea, Sherri and Brenda.

Each member of the team had go through an obstacle course. Up a wall, down a slide and into a mud pit. When in the mud pit, they had to find a bag of balls and then crawl under a beam through a bed of dirty rice. Once across the finish line with your balls, the next member ran the course.

After all five members completed the course, the untied the bags to free their balls. At this point, they attempted to shoot the balls into a basket high upon a pole. The first team to sink 12 balls won Reward.

Want to know what they were playing for?

The winning team went to a nice resort that featured a beautiful pool. While at the resort, they were treated to a feast fit for a king. Beef, shrimp, cocktails… You name it, it was there.

The challenge wasn’t even close, it was a real butt-whipping. The Purple team demolished the Orange, 12-0 and was off to the resort. The only noteworthy thing that happened during the reward was SAP bathing in the posh swimming pool rather than using the showers provided. I believed Erik vomited in his mouth when he saw this.

Before you could blink, it was time for the Immunity Challenge. This was a toughie! The castaways had to run across a deck, jump into the water, grab a ring, pull themselves under the deck with a rope, climb out of the water and put the ring on a post. Twice. I said it was tough.

The challenge was run in two heats with the top two finishers of each heat competing in the finals for Immunity. Phil sat the challenge out, claiming a childhood incident had scarred him. It was all Probst could do to keep from calling him a pussy.

Reynold and Andrea finished first and second in the first heat, while Malcolm and my girlfriend… er, I mean Brenda, were the top two in the second heat. The finals were even tougher with the competitors having to place five rings on the post. It was Reynold and Malcolm neck and neck all the way until the very end with Reynold emerging victorious. This challenge had a definite WOW factor. Alas, Mary Beth would have loved it.

Not only was the challenge spectacular, Reynold’s victory put a major snag in Phil’s Stealth R Us alliance. They had targeted Reynold, but he now had Immunity. This development forced a change of plans. They decided to split the vote between Eddie and Malcolm. What they didn’t know is that Malcolm had a Hidden Immunity Idol from way back when. Ha!

But wait, it gets better!

Before Tribal Council, Dawn, Andrea, Eddie, Malcolm and Reynold are searching to see if there is ANOTHER Hidden Immunity Idol. AND THERE IS! Malcolm finds it right in front of Dawn and Andrea. This shakes up Stealth R Us a bit and they don’t even know about Malcolm’s Idol…

But they find out at Tribal Council.

The seven jaws of Stealth R Us collectively drop when Malcolm whips out the second Hidden Immunity Idol and hands it to Eddie. They are openly scrambling and whispering amongst themselves as Probst tries to conduct Tribal Council. Malcolm, with a big shit-eating grin on his face proudly announces, “The Three Amigos” are voting for Phil tonight.

And they do and he goes home because the dopes from Stealth R Us still voted for Eddie and Malcolm, even though the votes wouldn’t count because of the Immunity Idols. To his credit, Erik was the only one from Stealth that voted for Phil.

This was truly an episode for the ages. And to think, it all started with Brenda gracefully running to the beach.

Until next time…from the booth.

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