Monday, July 8, 2013

My Apologies

I must apologize for not having posted a blog in over a week. I have been busy working on my book, “More Kenosha Softball” this past week and plan on doing the same for the foreseeable future. Oh ya, I have do a column for the Kenosha News this week as well. Hopefully, this chapter from my first book, “Some Kenosha Softball” will hold you over. Again, I apologize.

Be Careful What You Ask For


On a warm Tuesday evening in late June, I watched my 400 Club softball team warming up near the tennis courts at spacious Roosevelt Park. As I made the lineup for our 6:45 pm contest with Pasquali’s Bar, I noticed Matt Montemurro making his way from one teammate to the next. It was obvious that the young outfielder was the one doing most of the talking and all of the conversations ended with a mutual nod of the head and often a pat on the back. When it became evident what Matt was doing, a smile broke out on my chubby face and I went back to working on my batting order.

The reason I was smiling was because Matt had taken the advice I had given him in a phone conversation we had had earlier that afternoon. Based on our discussion, the talented young ballplayer was apologizing for what he had done the previous weekend.

Let me explain what Matt had done.

The Thursday before that eventful weekend, our 400 Club team had decided to play in a tournament in Whitewater at the Hawk’s Nest. When Matt heard that we were playing, he begged off saying he was getting “burned out” and needed a weekend off. I said fine, we would find someone to take his place.

If that was all that had happened, there would be no story.

 Our first game of the tournament had just finished and our team was making its’ across the parking lot to the bar for some “lunch” when Matt’s flashy sports car suddenly appeared. Screeching to a halt, Matt hopped out of the car and cheerfully asked, “How did you guys do?”

Not too many of us heard Matt’s question. We were too busy staring at the Tirabassi uniform he was sporting. Evidently he wasn’t too “burned out” to play in a tournament in Janesville with the archrival Tirabassi Excavators.

After the initial shock wore off, the response from his 400 Club teammates was less than cordial. After the burly Munk Ekern menacingly blurted out, “Get the fuck out of here!”, I suggested to Matt that he had better heed Ekern’s advice. He did so, and what could have been a very ugly scene was avoided.

Those are the events that led to Matt making that phone call to yours truly prior to our Tuesday game with Pasquali’s Bar.

The first words out of Matt’s mouth were, “That was pretty stupid of me. Am I still on the team?” After I reassured him that he was indeed still on the team, his next question was, “Is it fair to assume that I am not starting tonight?” After chuckling, I told him that was an accurate assumption and then suggested he apologize to the rest of the team before the game.

With the apologies and all the drama behind us, the game proceeded as most of our games with Pasquali’s Bar typically did…we were kicking their ass, only with Matt on the bench. Matt being a good soldier, eagerly coached third base and enthusiastically cheered on his teammates.

With our team preparing to bat in the bottom of the fourth inning, a well-intentioned Bruce Edmark approached me, pleading emphatically, “Puddles, Mattie has learned his lesson.” With chewing tobacco dripping down his chin, he added firmly, “Now get him in the game!”

It was then that I thought to myself, “Eddie, be careful what you wish for”…

With the emotional Edmark staring at me, I nodded in agreement and said, “Bruce you are right, Matt has learned his lesson. He should be in the game!” I then turned toward Matt  and bellowed, “Matt get in there. You’re batting for Eddie and playing left-center.”

Edmark, realizing that he had in effect just taken himself out of the game, slapped himself in the forehead and doing his best Homer Simpson, uttered a loud “Doh!”  Montemurro then hit a double in the gap, while a shaken Edmark was relegated to coaching third as the 400 Club went on to defeat Pasquali’s Bar by a rather embarrassing margin.

What could have been a potentially tumultuous situation was resolved and the topsy-turvy world of the 400 Club softball team was now back to a state of normalcy. Well, as close to normal as it could possibly be.

Until next time…from the booth.

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