Increments of Twenty!

Tonight was the next to last Thursday of Survivor Tocantins. After next Thursday we can count the days to the season finale on Sunday May 17. At the conclusion of the finale, the much anticipated reunion show will take place. Sadly, after that Survivor fans will have to wait until fall for season number 19 to begin.

By contrast, the students of Auburn’s Drake Middle School will only have to wait until early June for the school year to come to an end. Why do I say fortunately? So they can get away from their lunatic Principal, Debra Beebe!

Until recently, this bleach bottle blonde - complete with the ubiquitous boob job, was not overly annoying. She played nicely with others and even won an Individual Immunity Challenge along the way.

Then she got in tight with the heinous Coach Dragon Slayer and his smarmy sidekick Tyson, becoming part of the nefarious Warrior Alliance. Unfortunately, being part of this alliance required that you act smug and lie a lot. Debra was not accomplished at either.

Last week, after watching her tell lies and then sob afterwards, I made the comment, “I wonder what the parents of the children at her school are thinking. Nice Boobs?” You would hope that a Middle School Principal wouldn’t be a too-faced bimbo. Maybe that’s why she was blubbering, she felt guilty.

Perhaps you think I am being too hard on Coach’s fair-haired girl. You could counter with the point that everybody plots, schemes and tells half-truths on Survivor. And you would be correct. Even though she is a Principal, I might even let it slide.

However, after her mind-boggling performance tonight, I feel justified in my assessment of Debra Beebe.

The following exchange took place early, during the time-honored Survivor auction. Please keep in mind that Jeff Probst instructed the contestants that they must bid in twenty-dollar increments.

Taj made an opening bid of $40 for a plate of French fries. Undaunted, Debra thrust her cash in the air and shouted out $50! Probst shook his head and reminded the flaxen haired leader of Alabama’s youth that bids must be made in increments of twenty-dollars.

After the laughter had died done, Debra composed herself and confidently made a bid of $70. Need I say more?

The only positive that the parents of the Drake Middle School students could possibly draw from Principal Debra’s performance tonight was her tenacity. After finally mastering the seemingly perplexing twenty-dollar increment conundrum, she won the French fries for a paltry $120.

Then she was voted off at Tribal Council.

Thankfully, in September, Survivor fans will be rewarded with the 19th season of the show we have come to love. Regrettably, September also marks the return of the Alabama’s young minds to Auburn’s Drake Middle School with the lovely Mrs. Beebe there to guide them. Until next time…from Tocantins.