Thursday, July 1, 2010

Could Somebody Please Tell Me…

It’s Thursday night and it’s time to blog! No whining, no bitching and moaning about not knowing what to write about. Not tonight. No sir. Tonight I know exactly what I am going to write about. Tonight I am going to ask some hard-hitting questions. And I want answers! From you. Maybe you won’t be able to answer each and every one of them, but I would like you to answer the ones that you can. Please.

Could somebody please tell me why some people have a problem with athletes making millions of dollars and don’t seem to mind that entertainers earn similar amounts doing what they do? Even no talent bums like Kelly Ripa.

Could somebody please tell me why the Three Stooges were so misunderstood?

Could somebody please tell me why the British don’t acknowledge the letter Z? They spell realization – realisation. They even call it zed. Are we even really speaking English? I wonder how they spell pizza…

Could somebody please tell me why baseball managers and coaches wear full uniforms? In football the coaches typically wear team athletic apparel but they don’t wear helmets and shoulder pads. In basketball and hockey coaches wear suits and ties, yet baseball forces men in their sixties like Lou Piniella to wear snug form fitting uniforms. It just doesn’t make any sense.

While we are on the subject of sports, could somebody please tell me why Robin Yount was named to only three All-Star games during his illustrious 20 year Hall of Fame career? The Milwaukee Brewer star was selected as the American League MVP twice and the second time he didn’t even make the All-Star game! Pretty weird stuff.

Could somebody please tell me if there were ever any TV shows better than The Wire, The Sopranos or Northern Exposure? I’m not talking about sitcoms, so Leave It To Beaver doesn’t count.

Could somebody please tell me why I cry every time I watch the movie Bang The Drum Slowly? Keep in mind that I have seen it at least ten times.

Could somebody please tell me why some people insist on pronouncing Italian – “Eye-talian”? You certainly don’t hear them saying “Gee-erman” or “Pee-olish”.

Could somebody please tell me why people talking about professional wrestling feel it necessary to make it clear that they now it’s fake?

Could somebody please tell me why the only good radio shows on WGN are on after 11:00 pm? And no, Garry Meier isn’t cool anymore, even when he refers to the station as the “G”.

Could somebody please tell me why so many chefs on reality cooking shows smoke cigarettes? You would think that it would mess up their palette.

Could somebody please tell me why someone with purple hair, a plethora of piercings and tattoos covering every inch of their exposed flesh would ask, “What are you looking at?”

Could somebody please tell me why most people from Illinois have such a problem with ketchup being put on a hot dog?

And finally, could somebody please tell me why I liked Drew Carey on The Drew Carey Show, didn’t care for him as host of Whose Line Is It Anyway? and now enjoy him again on The Price Is Right? I just don’t get it.

There you have it, fourteen questions that I need answered. I would appreciate your responses as soon as possible so that I can discuss them in an upcoming blog. Thanks in advance! Until next time…from the booth.


phamily said...

1. Athletes AND actors make way too much money, but so do the franchises and movie studios.

2.I think there are two schools of comedy: physical and conceptual, and they rarely meet ...although there are demented people who appreciate both (me).

3. As I recall (and you too) several characters evolved out of the original Roman-Anglo alphabet... I believe F/S was one of those as well.

4. Soccer coaches are dressed to the nines-veritable fashionistas! I also never got the whole baseball coach/manager thing. Remember guys like Lombardi and Landry!

5. He was from a small-market team.

6. I like a bunch ...Six feet under, Curb your enthusiasm, Firefly, Dead like me, Pushing Daisies, Freaks and Geeks, My Boys, Trust Me...but them's just opinions.

7. Because its sad dude. Brian's song too.

8. I think its from the diphthong to be honest. Down in the lower midwest/high south they love to long-pronounce an initial vowel... ...EYE-ran and EYE-raq. My personal hates: chinaman, "oriental" yikes.

9. No one wants to be a chump...even when that's the they don't get it that they aren't supposed to. Huh?

10.Internet radio. Broadcast TV and radio needs to 'up its game.' I now listen to HD or Internet radio most of the radio day that I am not listening to NPR shows like "This American Life" or "The Story."

11.They are caffeine and nicotine junkies. Those that aren't have builds like me and/or alcohol habits. My food addiction is probably not a lot better though.

12.That's why they do it. It's the love/hate of attention seeking behavior.

13. Because it just ain't right unless your under 12. I likes my maxwell street sa'sage as intended--wit' sweet yellow mustard, peppers and dem grilled onions.

14. He seemed out of his element on WLIA. It was yet another american cop of a british show, and they picked Carey because of his improv buddies and comedy bgnd.

Sue said...

It is going to take me a while to comment on all of those. Will come back when I have more time but would say that some of the younger English people are starting to spell realisation with a 'z' or 'zee' as is said in some parts and Pizza is Pizza nothing else here in the UK !. Tell me though - why do people say Symes as Simms? !

Paul E. Vagnoni said...

Thanks Peter and Sue! I love the way you numbered each one Peter, it must be the instructor in you. Sue, in answer to your question, because your sister Doris told me to say it that way!

bev said...


Leplume said...

1. Actors and athletes both make too much money. But if I had to choose one of them I'd let the actors earn the money and give the athletes less. At least the actors can read when they get out of college. Well, most of them...maybe.

2. The Three Stooges. In my lifetime I've come to believe that you have to be male to get the Three Stooges.

3. The English also eat Spotted Dick and Kidney Pie! Dont try to understand it!

4. Because baseball is dignified. Especially those Cubbies! :D

5. Maybe if he had played for the Cubbies.... hehehe, ain't I a stinker?

6. Twin Peaks...I was a TP geek!

7. It's a damn sad movie, that's why!

8. Just try calling me Pee-olish...go ahead and try!

9. Professional wrestling is fake???? What the.... man, no one told me that!!!

10. Hmmm, I don't listen to radio so I'll have to take your word on this one.

11. It does. But it also relieves the stress. And being a Top Chef is stressful!

12. Oh come now, I'm sure at one time there some "look" or outfit you came up with that you thought looked super cool and you had the same reaction when someone looked at you! We all did that. It's being a teen.

13. Yeah...that's just plain weird. What's up with that? Ketchup goes with hot dogs!! Sheesh!!!

14. You're on your own with Drew. I can't stand him. Never could!

Gregory (Greg) P Turco said...

1. They both make way way too more than me. That is the problem.

2. The Three Stooges are not about understanding.

7. Twin Peaks, I agree. Also The Prisoner -- remember that?

12. I agree it is wierd to see this season's Top Chef candidates smoking. Yes, it should screw up their taste buds; let's see if they get kicked out early.

13. Good question.

14. Drew was better on "Whose Line" IMHO

Paul E. Vagnoni said...

Thanks Peter, Sue, Bev, Mary and Greg! Added to the responses that I received on facebook, I have plenty of material for Thursday's blog!