Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Survivor 24.10

Here’s the Official Survivor: One World Recap Trilogy for week ten:
 So, tonight's episode brought out some mean spirits, an auction, some really stupid moves, and a whole lot of head shaking by Jeff Probst. As the tribe headed back from the last Tribal council, it finally dawned on Troyzan that he was likely not long on the island. They all got back and got real snotty with each other. Leif didn't say a word, naturally. Someone made some snide comments to someone else. Christina looked perplexed.

To tell you the truth I wasn't really paying that much attention. At the reward challenge, each person had $500 to spend on whatever Probst revealed. Again, it was mostly food. Kim got to take a shower which creeped me out because Tarzan was craning his neck to see her in the buff.

Troyzan spent almost his entire $500 on an advantage at the next challenge. Christina was bidding against him but for some reason stopped with a constipated look on her face.

Tarzan wasn't bidding either. He said he was saving his $500 to get the shocks fixed on his truck. Wait… what?? Isn't he a plastic surgeon and don't they make more money than Donald Trump? Surely, he could have spent a little dough on some peanut butter and chocolate and still got his truck fixed! But, alas, Alicia outbid everyone for a letter from a loved one, which sent Tarzan into a sobbing fit so Probst let him buy his letter for the same price.

Ack! I'm just rehashing everything that happened and the truth is… I just don't care anymore! Sure, it was nice that someone finally got a fire lit under their ass (Troyzan) and that started a great shouting match and some classic whining but I don't like him at all so I don't care if he gets voted off! In fact, he looks so much like a dirtier, smellier version of Kenny Loggins circa 1985 that now I have the song “Footloose” stuck in my head! So thanks for that, Troyzan!

I'm also sick and tired of these people feigning starvation each week. I mean, did you see them running around during the Immunity Challenge? There was more Jell-O jiggling going on than I've ever seen this late in a season of Survivor.

Little Leif was in danger of catching fire from the friction being caused by Christina's thighs as she ran! And Alicia's bikini bottom is stretched to its limit! That thing is going to go “SPROINGGG!!!” any day now. Far be it for me to make jokes at a chubby person's expense, but these guys are not starving. They have a feast on every episode and they all look very well fed.

So, to wrap this up, Troyzan attempted to get Tarzan, Leif, Christina and Alicia to vote out Kim. They didn't. Leif went home. Oh, and I always wait until the credits to see what the person voted off has to say. Yeah, not much. Leif remains a man of few words. And he said those few words so quietly I actually had to turn up the volume on my television.

Quick question: Whom should I root for? Honestly, I can't decide for myself. I hate them all so I'll root for whomever you want me to! I'm just that NOT into this season! Ha ha!

 Jamie's Prognosis: Time for therapy!!

Ok, ok… Now we’re getting somewhere. Tonight was interesting. Tonight was the Troyzan show and I kind of got into it. Up until tonight I’ve found myself rolling my eyes when Troy said or did something. He actually reminds me of a guy I dated once upon a time… goofy, egotistical, irritating, a little angry. I still did some of that eye rolling tonight, but he got my attention in a new way! He was in fighting mode literally from the moment that they all returned from last week’s Tribal Council.

Troyzan and Alicia got into some verbal sparring right away, and of course we know that SHE is always up for some trash talk. Troyzan clearly has some issues. For one thing, he’s obviously had trouble with women stating that “women get what they want and then leave you high and dry”. If he wins the million dollars he can hire Dr. Phil to work through it. Anger makes dull men witty, but it may keep them poor…

The immunity challenge was the much-anticipated auction, where contestants are given $500 to use to bid on mostly food items. Sabrina paid $400 for a margarita and chips and I was about to make fun of her when I thought hmmm… if I went that many days without booze, I’d easily fork over that amount of money for a margarita.

I’m going to guess that Paul Vagnoni enjoyed Kim taking a shower while eating peanut butter and chocolate. But the highlight for me was Kat bidding heavily on a BLT and then exclaiming in wonder that there was bacon on the sandwich. Indeed, she also had trouble adding. I can’t tell if she is for real that dumb or if she’s using it as strategy. On second thought she wouldn’t know strategy if it bit her on the ass. She’s dumb.

 Back at the “one world” beach Troy was on a mission. This is a man who clearly doesn’t like to lose or take no for an answer. He was talking strategy trying to get a new alliance going. He was pretending to find another immunity idol. He was talking in the bushes to the camera in third person.

It was pretty clear that this dude does not go down without a fight. This is not a guy that you want to hire or date or argue politics with because you can tell he’s never wrong. In real life he’s probably just a pain in the ass to be around.


He didn’t eat a thing at the reward challenge. He saved all of his dollars for the card that guaranteed he’d be ahead of the others in the Immunity Challenge. It was yet another challenge that involved the lobbing of coconuts at stuff.  I am absolutely certain that they did this very same challenge just a few weeks ago, but whatever. Troyzan took on a freakishly ashen looking Tarzan in the final and won immunity again.

Dear Dr. Phil… Just so you know, your new patient who likes to be called “Troyzan” is not a good loser. He’s an even worse winner. His people skills are sorely lacking. He rubbed everyone’s face in his win.  He claimed himself a loner in the game. He made more women hate him. Even Tarzan finds him to be obnoxious.  

Speaking of Dr. Tarzan, he always does something weird and ookey that creeps me out and this week he gave little Leif a bath. Yep. It was weird… Maybe if Troyzan gets an appointment with Dr. Phil he can take Tarzan with him.
Now that he had the immunity necklace back around his neck, Troy played the game. And here is where this wack job earned my respect!

He made a good point to Christina and Alicia that they are low on the totem pole and soon to be on the chopping block. It would have been a great time for them to make a move and for a slick minute I was pretty sure that Alicia would take the bait. She's like Mitt Romney… she will say anything to stay ahead in the game, but this would have been a bold move and of course she caved.

They voted squeaky-clean Leif out. It looks like it may be an all girl catfight to the finish unless Troyzan can keep up his angry fight. Because the ladies of Survivor hate him too and the second he falters he will be out!
 Tonight’s episode was eye opening and at the same time a bit mystifying. All rolled into one fun-packed hour. I even learned a few things about myself. However, for each thing that I learned tonight, I was left wondering about several others. Strangely enough, with enlightenment and bewilderment, tonight’s show was the most entertaining in a long time. I even yelled out, “YES!”

One of the first things to help educate me was the Survivor Auction show. I saw that when given $500, each of the nine castaways will spend it differently. Here are the results:

Chelsea - $160 for 3 donuts and an ice coffee.
Sabrina - $400 for chips, guacamole dip and a margarita.
Leif - $100 for a protein shake and a couple of bananas.
Kim - $40 for the privilege of taking a shower during the auction.
Kat - $180 for a BLT, chips and an ice tea.
Kim - $240 for a bowl of peanut butter and some chocolate.
Alicia and Tarzan - $500 for a personal letter from home.
Troyzan - $420 for an advantage in the Immunity Challenge.
Kat - $160 for a cake that she had to share with everyone else.

Auction notes: Kat was amazed to discover bacon on her BLT. Honest… Tarzan considered keeping his $500 so he could repair his car when he got home. Again, honest… The shared cake had to be eaten in 60 seconds. I don’t think it took 45… Finally, Christina did not spend any of her money. Maybe she is saving up for a brain. She could sure use one.

The next thing that I learned was that it is wrong to search for a Hidden Immunity Idol even when you know the other eight people are planning on voting you off.

Yep, Chelsea, Kim and the rest of the Estrogen Alliance thought it was in bad taste when Troyzan did just that. I guess he should have done like Chelsea suggested and take getting voted off “Like Jonas did. Like a man.” Um, man isn’t the word that comes to mind when I think of Jonas. It’s another word that means little kitty. Or something.

That leads me to what I learned about myself tonight. I have misogynistic tendencies. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate woman. In fact, I am rather fond of them. But I had to agree with Troyzan when he went on his little tirade toward the Estrogen Alliance.

He basically said that the six women basically used the men to build and provide for them until they were in a position of power. Then the men were no longer needed. And he thinks it sucks. And I agree.

Which brings me to the confusing stuff. Tarzan, while he’s not too stupid to realize what the woman folk are doing, he is too stupid to do anything about it! This was evidenced by how he voted at Tribal Council.

Here is what Emmy award-winning host Jeff Probst revealed after tallying up the votes:

Kim – 2 votes (Troyzan and Leif)
Tarzan – 3 votes (Kim, Christina and Alicia)
Leif – 4 votes (Chelsea, Kat, Sabrina and TARZAN)

Yes, Tarzan. This is after Troyzan came right out and explained to Alicia, Christina, Leif and TARZAN, that they were the bottom feeders in the eyes of the Estrogen Alliance. He then laid out the plan, point-blank, right there at Tribal Council. All it would take is voting off Kim and the power would be theirs.

As you can see, only the diminutive Leif went along with Troyzan’s plan and for his trouble he was sent packing back to Lilliput. Evidently Alicia, Christina and Tarzan don’t know a good plan when it hits them in the face. Those chowderheads had better wake up and smell the coffee or they will be next, mark my words.

Until next time…from the booth.

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