As the show opened, Coach related a story of how he was air lifted into the Amazon and was captured by seven midget natives with bow and arrows. He went on to say that they tied him to a stake and took turns beating him with a little club. Fortunately (?) he was able to escape.
Later when Jeff Probst questioned him at Tribal Council about this amazing tale, the Coach got more graphic in the details. He then explained that he typically tells the PG-13 version back at camp. The story helped to reinforce the fact that he is one peculiar dude.
He continued to amaze/amuse his Forza tribe mates and Probst by revealing that he has faced “five, six, seven or eight life or death situations. Moments when he thought he had three seconds left to live.”
His bull shitting wasn’t the only Coach “moments” that we were treated to tonight. Not by any stretch of the imagination.
Shortly after telling that captivating story he made several observations. First Coach declared that Brendan was the dragon and therefore he was the dragon slayer. Weird, eh? Wait, it gets better.
Next, he stated that Sierra was the bowel movement of the dragon and had to be eliminated. Hmm, no I won’t even go there.
You want more Coach quotes? When Stephen was being sent to Exile Island, Coach looked him square in the eye and said, “Be the wizard Stephen, be the wizard.”
Here's another one, after Tyson won Individual Immunity, Coach gleefully states, “This assures that Brendan is going home, because the dragon slayer has spoken!” I am serious he actually said that.
One last gem to illustrate how twisted this guy is. At one point in the show he raised his arms toward the heavens, looked upwards and pontificated, “Coach Wade is the chosen one!”
I am sorry; the Coach is starting to creep me out. Tyson is a freak, but he is trying to be a freak. The Coach is strange and he is not trying. It comes natural to him, it’s no act. Plus, you can tell that he believes his own bullshit!
To his credit, Coach Dragon Slayer backed up his bullshit tonight by using his evil powers to convince the others to do away with Brendan the dragon. The coming attractions for next week show Coach doing his best to eliminate the dragon’s bowel movement, Sierra. Until next time…from the booth.
5 comments:
Oh yeah, he's a weird one alright. I get the feeling he thinks he's Steven Siegal's long, lost brother or something. His behavior, while entertaining, is boarding on creepy!! I was SO hoping Brendan was going to pull off the coup but, alas, Coach lives to see another episode. Well, at least it's finally getting interesting! LOL
Coach is a zilch. The best is when he is knocked out of a challenge and looks forlorn sitting on the bench. Those midget ass-eating natives should've known they were dealing with the Dragon Slayer!
Didn't you just love the jumping out of a military helicopter bull shit??? And how he pulled strings to get it? I know a naval officer (ret.) and that kinds of stuff just doesn't happen. Plus, how did the idiot jump out of the copter with an "18 foot" kayak???? What am I thinking? I'm sure it was folded in his pocket.
Do you think it's time to keep Coach around, who would vote for him in the finals????
Mary - Am I the only one that was confused when Brendan compared Coach to Jacques Cousteau?
Karen - I agree, they have to keep Coach around, especially this season.
Personally I am pulling for JT with a soft spot in my heart for Sierra.
Thanks for all the comments!
I wish coach would go away. I can't stand him.
I had been holding out hope that the dull middle would maturing into an interesting end-game, but I yesterday's episode was not promising. All the good people are leaving, with the losers remaining.
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