You Get What You Need

Back in 1969 the Rolling Stones told us that you can't always get what you want. Although fairly obvious, it’s still a bit discouraging in the grand scheme of things. However, if I remember correctly, Mick also told us that if you try sometime, you just might find you get what you need! At least that offers a sliver of hope.

Well, that’s exactly what we fans of Survivor need to do this season - hope that we at least get what we need. Because it is becoming abundantly clear that we can’t get what we want.

Don’t get me wrong, early in tonight’s episode I optimistically thought that things were taking a definite turn in the right direction. There were numerous indications that Survivor Tocantins was going to become must-see television.

We wanted personalities and we were getting them. Bizarre personas were beginning to run rampant in Brazil. And it was great!

Coach Svengali, when not impersonating Keith Carradine, was constantly analyzing everyone and everything. Early in the show he declared, “It’s about me now!” and then laughed maniacally. Later he was talking about being a dragon slayer and calling people warriors. The coach was starting to creep me out again.

But not nearly as much as that lunatic Tyson! What a nutcase this guy he is.

His comments make you want to punch him in the forehead and at the same time vomit. A prime example of this was when he was discussing his primary adversary Brendan. While calling him a sneaky bastard, Tyson also mentions, "that Brendan has felt my steamy breath on the nape of his neck, even his lower back…"

What a freak. Exactly what Survivor fans wanted!

After Tyson was victorious in the initial post-merge Individual Immunity Challenge, we got more of what we wanted. Scheming, lying and backstabbing, all key ingredients of any Survivor season. And we were getting it tonight!

Coach and Tyson were deceiving their former Timbira tribe-mates Sierra and Brendan. Stephen was turning his back on Taj and the Exile Island alliance, while Debbie and Erinn wandered around like deer in headlights. JT chipped in, helping to create the potential for an all-time great Tribal Council.

For the first time this season I honestly was anticipating Tribal Council with baited breath. This was going to be good, I had no idea who would be told those fateful words, “The tribe has spoken.”

Then it happened. The Tribal Council to end all Tribal Councils was snatched from our viewing pleasure. How you ask? By Joe’s infected, pus-filled left leg, that’s how!

After the Individual Immunity Challenge, Jeff Probst noticed just how vile and disgusting Joe’s leg looked. Probst dismissed the rest of the challengers and had the medic check the leg out.

Following the examination, Joe was declared a no-go, which in turn put the kibosh on the Tribal Council that we were licking our lips over.

In the end, the Stones were right, you don’t always get what you want. But I didn’t really think that we needed to be disappointed. Not like that.

Well, I am going to the Chelsea Drugstore to get your prescription filled. I will be standing in line with my friend, Mr. Jimmy. Until next time…from the booth.