Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Good Old Days

Because I wasn’t feeling up to it last night, the Survivor: Redemption Island review is being written on Thursday, just like the good old days.  Maybe not being able to do the blog last night was actually a blessing in disguise. Even though this is the second season since Survivor moved to Wednesdays, I am still not used to it. Invariably, after posting the blog, I go to bed thinking that tomorrow is Friday. Not this time. Nope, I’m writing my Survivor recap blog on Thursday, just like the good old days.

Unfortunately the show isn’t like the good old days. Not even close.

For example, the Reward challenges have become blatant commercials. This season it was Sears Craftsman Tools and Sprint G4 Phones.

The Immunity challenge rewards have become laughably ridiculous. In the past you were lucky to win fishing hooks, a net or a flint. Those basic items all have been awarded again this season – along with lawn chairs, pillows, tarps, bowls, a brunch complete with coffee and mugs, the afore mentioned tools, a luxury lunch, a picnic, cheeseburgers, chocolate cake and milk.

What happened to eating bugs and worms? This is friggin’ Club Med compared to what Hatch, Rudy and Sue Hawk went through in season one.

Another huge departure from the good old days is the quality of the competitors. They are a bunch of whiny, mindless fools that act as if they have never seen an episode of this award-winning reality show. They have no idea how to play the game.

If Boston Rob would say, “Jump”, his empty-headed marionettes would reply in unison, “How high?” Then afterward, Natalie or Ashley would gush, “Boston Rob is so smart.” Morons.

As evidence as to how chowderheaded these people are, this is the first time in Survivor history that a tribe has stayed completely intact after the merge. Ometepe stayed one big happy family under the guidance of the cunning Boston Rob.

How did that work out for you, Andrea? Tricky, tricky, that Boston Rob.

Reluctantly, I have to give the members of the Zapatera tribe some credit. Much to my chagrin, on day 6, they conspired to eliminate Russell Hantz. They knew that they had to get rid of the greatest player in Survivor history. Unfortunately, they did it too soon and were decimated by Boston Rob’s gang of faithful zombies.

That being said, there are only two episodes left of season 22 of Survivor, next Wednesday and the finale on Sunday, May 15. Hopefully, Grant, Natalie, Ashley and Special Agent Phil will figure out that they need to blindside their fearless leader, Boston Rob. It won’t be easy though; he still possesses a Hidden Immunity Idol.

Although it clearly appears that the good old days are long gone, something has to happen pretty quick. With only two shows left, not only do we have Boston Rob’s crew, but also Matt, Mike, Andrea and the Furry Farmer left on Redemption Island.

That means six people must be sent terminated and sent to be part of the jury in that short time. This should be interesting.

Based on the assumption that only one of the contestants from Redemption Island will make it back to compete for the finals, I would love to see Mike be that person.

Not only is he a capable competitor, I want to see it when the boneheaded move he made last night blows up in his naive face. Who gives up the chance to spend time with his loved one in order to possibly win favor with the Zapatera tribe? Even the Furry Farmer knew it was a dimwitted move.

If only one person from the current bunch on Redemption Island does get “back in the game”, this is how I think things will shake out. The final three will be Boston Rob, Special Agent Phil and Natalie.

Here is the reasoning for my picks:

Boston Rob, because, as I have stated ad nauseam, the rest of people remaining are numbskulls unable to think for themselves.

Special Agent Phil, because Boston Rob feels that the pink panty-wearing undercover operative has annoyed or offended everyone to the point that nobody will vote for him.

Natalie, because Boston Rob has a soft spot in his heart for her. Ambah had better watch out!

Now if things don’t go to form, all bets are off and I would have a final three of Special Agent Phil, Matt and the Furry Farmer.

Here is my reasoning for these picks:

Special Agent Phil, because has he annoyed or offended everyone to the point that nobody will vote for him. It will be interesting to see his special agent training at work.

Matt, because I need to see what he has to say to the people that backstabbed him, not once but twice, especially Valley Girl wannabe, Andrea. If I’m not mistaken, he actually said a word that had to be bleeped out last night. Could be interesting.

The Furry Farmer, because I would find it very entertaining to see how he answers the questions the jury throws at him. The over/under for dag gummits would be 6.

Today is Thursday and tomorrow will definitely be Friday, just like the good old days. I just hope that there will be some semblance of those good old days in the final two episodes of Survivor: Redemption Island.

Until next week…from the booth.


sue said...

Bring back the good old days - why 'break' something that works. Unless there is a 'twist' though I cannot see this series getting any better (I am sure it is those pink panties !).

Paul E. Vagnoni said...

Sue, I think you would like Special Agent Phil. He is very annoying, but in a very amusing way!

Leplume said...

You wrote it late and I"m reading it later! I agree that this season seems to have been one made for wimps. Where was the usual eating weird crappy stuff challenge and what's with all the food this season!? Club Med indeed! No one's emaciated, starving or weak and it's almost over! Sue Hawk would kick all of their collective asses.

I'm hoping there is a surprise twist at the end. Here's my hope, as much as I appreciated Boston Rob being able to lead this pack of nitwits around by their noses, I want them to force him to use the idol he has. Then I want Matt to come back from Redemption Island at the end and beat Rob in a final challenge. Then I want Rob voted off and I want Matt to take this! What a great ending that would have someone who was basically banished for the entire game come back and win it all! I would love it!

Paul E. Vagnoni said...

That's fair, Mary Beth. I agree with your Boston Rob/Matt scenario. Or better yet, Russell comes back into the game through a major twist. Ya, that's it!!!