Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest

In case you weren’t paying attention last week, Survivor: Redemption Island belongs to Boston’s Rob. The episode tonight made this even more obvious. The only way he doesn’t win the million dollars is if he screws up in a major way. By sending Kristina to Redemption Island he rid himself of the only person with enough brains to challenge him. He was fully aware of that, that’s why he convinced his mighty band of morons to vote for her. Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest.

And from what I have seen, there isn’t anyone from the Zapatera bunch savvy enough to outwit him when the merger comes. It certainly isn’t the Furry Farmer.

As far as the rest of them go, Stephanie is the lone person who seems to know how Survivor is supposed to be played. But she isn’t long for this game because she was a disciple of Russell. Besides that she is intelligent and stupid people are afraid of people with intelligence. Therefore, her days are numbered.

Here’s a brief recap of what happened on the show tonight:

The Ometepe tribe is growing tired of seeing Special Agent Phillip’s junk falling out of his pink briefs.

Someone forgot to tell Russell Hantz that there isn’t any crying in Survivor. Yes, that’s right, the “Hall-of-Famer” shed a few tears when he lost the elimination challenge to Matt.

However, before making his final exit from Survivor, Russell proved what an ignoramus the Furry Farmer is by tricking him into telling everyone he had a Hidden Immunity Idol in his possession. He made look like a real simpleton.

Back at Ometepe, Boston Rob made up a game for his tribe of dimwits to play while he found a Hidden Immunity Idol. What a group. Remember, Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest.

The Immunity Challenge was basically a Sears commercial, pimping Craftsman crowbars, shovels, hatchets, saws and hammers. What’s wrong CBS, don’t you make enough $$$ off of Survivor as it is?

By winning the challenge, the nincompoops from Zapatera not only won the tools, but a barbeque set complete with food. While feasting, the Furry Farmer asked the members of his tribe if he could lick the mustard off their noses.

Honest, he did. I can’t make stuff like that up.

Tribal Council was pretty run of the mill. Host Jeff Probst got Kristina and knucklehead Special Agent Phillips to bicker about which one should be sent to Redemption Island. Kristina lost and Boston Rob just grinned.

One last thing, WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO SURVIVOR??? At the very beginning, they are given flint and tools. Tribes are winning food on the fourth episode; before that it was fishing equipment and a tarp. For crying out loud, Richard Hatch and Sue Hawk would have killed for such luxuries.

I do believe Survivor has become sissified.

Okay, having said that, I feel much better now. Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest will be back next week. I can’t wait to see what kind of tomfoolery those numbskulls get themselves into.

Until next time…from the booth.


Leplume said...

I was thinking that too..why are they getting these luxuries so early?? I can recall past seasons where the people playing looked skeletal and ate rats for craps sake! While I am deeply saddened by Russell's untimely departure, I was thrilled to see him have one last Russellmania moment. Calling out the Furbeast for the doofus he is was great to see. BUT...why oh why did Kristina listen to Phillip and not say a word to Rob about what really happened at the challenge?? It was her one chance. She deserved to go...because she's an idiot! LOL

And you won't believe this but the comment moderatin word verification this blog is asking me to type in is "shambo". I kid you not! LMAO!!

Paul E. Vagnoni said...

What are the chances of that. Mary Beth? Too funny! You coined two more great terms - Furbeast and Russellmania! Very good!

sue said...

Yuk Yuk Yuk... junk falling out of pink briefs, Hantz crying, furry Farmer (that amount of hair yuk) licking mustard off of noses (well asking).. sounds like a bunch of children in the playground. Definitely gone far too soft.

Paul E. Vagnoni said...

It wasn't pretty, Sue!

Gregory (Greg) P Turco said...

I liked this episode because Matt embarrassed Russell and then he CRIED. For a brief second I felt sorry for Russell.

Happy to see Russell in Survivor retirement.

Karen R said...

I'm sorry to see Russell go. I wanted to see if he would change his game somehow to be more likable at the end. Alas, we'll never know! I can't see the permanently sweatered guy making it far. What a dunderhead! This could be Rob's season.

Paul E. Vagnoni said...

@Greg - You are the third "Russell Hater" that said they felt sorry for him briefly. All of you emphasised the briefly part!

@Karen - I think you might find this interesting. It's an excerpt from Jeff Probst's blog.


Before the tears could even dry, the Russell of old was back, once again stirring up trouble. As with Rob, this is another example of why some players get invited back and most don’t. Russell played Ralph like a finely tuned fiddle. He baited the hook, dropped it in the water, let Ralph nibble on it and then hooked him. As charming as Ralph is, he was so outmatched it was hard to watch.

Russell suckered Ralph into bragging about the idol in front of the Ometepe tribe. They now know he has it and if a merge comes, and Ralph still has the idol, it may cause him more problems than it will help solve.

In that moment, Russell flipped the game once again and he did it after he’d already been knocked out of the game. That’s why he’s played three times and… despite his claims that he’s finished… that’s why he’ll probably end up playing yet again.

Thanks for the memories, RH.