Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Survivor 25.7

Your Official Survivor: Philippines Recap Trilogy for week seven: 

Malcolm - Mary Beth's Favorite
Mary Beth’s 2Cents: Tonight's episode started out over at Kalabaw, where Denise was wondering if she is cursed. She's been to every single Tribal Council since the season opener. Yet, she's still here, so perhaps she's blessed instead! Penner wonders why Katie would vote for him to leave! He says he “forgets that people are lying” on this show but “feels good” about his alliance with Jeff – who just might be lying to him!

At Tandang, Mike is fondly remembering the anniversary of his fall into the fire and subsequent medivac when he last played when suddenly a boat arrives and they find out… drum roll please!… the tribes are now merging! They have ten minutes to gather their stuff. No one seems to notice Malcolm running off into the woods on his own to unearth his Hidden Immunity Idol. I had forgotten he had one! Sigh…

When the two tribes merge (now called Dangrayne), Jeff starts scopin' out Skupin (I like saying that!) because he really doesn't want Penner to win this thing and wants to keep a seasoned pro on his side. Mike Skupin, ever the strategist, spends his first moments waxing lyrical about how he never made it to a merge before.

Later, he and RC begin taking advantage of the merge to get to know the other tribe mates which kind of leaves Abi the Evil and Pete shaking in their shoes. They see that if they don't do something Mike and RC will make a larger, stronger alliance and, frankly, they haven't treated either of them very nicely for a while now. Which, by the way, gets keenly pointed out to Abi Dabbi by RC when Abi tells RC to go get some information on the others for her.

Apparently, RC had a set of balls in that double D zebra bra all this time because she looks Abi in the eye and tells her “we're not one big happy family and we haven't been for 17 days!” RC has some chutzpah!

Tonight's moment of the bizarre – While the others are setting up camp and building a shelter, Lisa takes it upon herself to get everyone's clothing out of their bags and hang them up to dry in the sun. She inadvertently finds Malcolm's Hidden Immunity Idol.

Okay… What???

Since when do the others allow anyone to go through their bags without some serious repercussions? I remember a season when someone searched a bag for beef jerky and all hell broke loose! Lisa just goes through all the bags and no one says a word! And when Malcolm finds out about it, he simply says he's thankful it was Lisa “the church lady” and takes her at her word that she won't tell anyone.

Seriously??

I don't know but this portion seemed a little too scripted. As if Lisa Whelchel wasn't getting enough airtime or something. Right after this she is seen swimming with Penner, the only person who recognizes her, and tells him how refreshing it is to just get to be her. Yeah… I dunno… seems scripted and I hate to think that way, but it did!

There was a lot of talk about getting Penner voted off. Pete wants RC out and offers her up as the second. Malcolm figures out that if the vote is split 4-4 it will force Penner to play his Idol, which Pete tells them he has. The weird thing about the merge was that for as close as Malcolm and Denise were on their old tribe, before they were split up, it never showed them taking time to talk to each other to re-establish their ties. Maybe they didn't have to? Weird.

The Immunity Challenge was a show of pure strength as each person had to hold a rod, wrapped with a rope, tied to a bucket that held 25% of their own body weight. The challenge proved to be difficult and they started dropping like flies. Skupin was out in a matter of seconds. The others soon followed. Denise held on to be the last woman standing and she won immunity. Carter and Jeff battled it out with Jeff finally giving up. Carter wins immunity. Carter? Is this guy some kind of dark horse here? He will be interesting to watch in future episodes.

Everyone continues to scramble until Tribal Council. This show is great at making me think I know what's going to happen but then, inevitably, what I think will happen, doesn't. The notes I jotted down during tribal look like this. “Abi needs to go – HATE HER!!” “When did Lisa get to be so smart?” “Penner feels the heat and is forced to play his idol.” And then… I heard a loud scream and some out of control sobbing and I knew exactly what happened…

Jeff Probst announced, ”Voted off and the first person of our jury… RC!”

The screaming and sobbing was coming from the direction of Paul's house. I'm sorry, Paulie. I liked her too and I was hoping she would be able to stick around for a while. Now go dry your eyes, blow your nose and get a drink of water so you can calm  down. It's really going to be okay, buddy. Trust me.




Denise - Jamie's Favorite
Jamie’s Prognosis: If tonight’s episode of Survivor was a Nancy Drew mystery it would be titled “Curse of the Mammoth Mounds.”  But more about that in a bit. This week I noticed that Paul Vagnoni became a fan of RC’s Facebook page. I pictured him getting a package in the mail including a fun fan key chain, cheetah patterned T-shirt and matching sun visor, not to mention a DVD of all the times she ran across the beach in slow motion.

This week’s show began with boats coming to each beach to take the two tribes to the merge. Lisa Whelchel was appropriately dressed in her mom jeans and a long sleeved shirt. Really. Lisa!! You are old school Hollywood girl. Quit acting like Aunt Bea!

As the two tribes came together and before the last drop of celebratory wine was drunken there was talking and scrambling and backstabbing and potential flip flopping going on. It was hard to keep it all straight.

Penner and Lisa took to the water to discuss their situation, and he is clearly smitten with her, being the only one who knows her big “Facts of Life” secret.  Lisa went into full on “mom” mode and decided to do everyone’s laundry, and in doing so discovered Malcolm’s Idol stuffed carelessly in his bag. Moms who do laundry everywhere were cheering “Yes… YES this is why we do laundry!!” To discover secrets. Its true.

For the Survivors first Individual Immunity Challenge, contestants had to hold onto a bucket suspended above their heads that contained 25% of their body weight. Shame on the men who were outlasted by Lisa and Abi!!

I KNEW that Denise would dominate this challenge because as I mentioned before, my fave player is buff and muscled! She easily won the women’s challenge. But the big surprise for me was Carter, who I had generally dismissed as worthless until tonight. His scrawny self outlasted all of the men including former MLB baseball player Jeff Kent. 

I also found it quite interesting that Jeff Probst let loose during the challenge that Penner was going to be in trouble at Tribal Council. Can we be a little less obvious with the subtle manipulation of the show there, Jeff?

Back at camp more scrambling ensued and Jeff and Carter became the swing votes, so to speak in an election year. Would they stick with their original alliance? Or would they flip to the side of Pete, Abi and Artis, none of whom I like very much. 

For Jeff Kent this was tempting. He doesn’t like the fact that Penner is still in the game and wanted to vote him out. But in doing so would he potentially become the next one to be picked off?

At Tribal Council more subtle Probst manipulation ensued. Clearly Penner was in trouble, and by now I have decided that I like Penner. Not just because of the Alan Alda thing, but because I think he’s a good player. 

Abi and RC aired their ridiculous non-existent grievances about each other. Abi is just mean and unlikeable. I really hope she doesn’t make it much farther. After the vote was taken Probst asked if anyone had the immunity idol and wanted to play it. For a second or two it looked like Penner was going to risk it, but he wisely played his hidden immunity idol. 

As the votes were read I could feel my friend Paul’s angst all the way from the North side. Yes indeed, his beloved cheetah print underwire clad beauty and new Facebook friend RC was eliminated.

Jonathan Penner was not a happy man after the vote. And let me tell you, he does NOT look good on the night camera’s (which, by the way freaks me out… I hope no one EVER films me with one of those cameras). 

I would say that Jeff Kent has a big target on his back, and Penner is going to put his fight into high gear. Next week should be interesting. And I am sorry to report that after tonight’s episode all of the big breasts have been systematically eliminated. Unless Lisa Whelchel decides to take off the granny clothes and show what she’s got.




RC - Paul's Favorite
The Booth’s Bits: Okay, time to put on my big boy pants (insert inappropriate jokes here) and write about the saddest episode of the season. I am sure that Mary Beth and Jamie have both described the devastating demise of the lovely RC. With precisely 20 minutes left in the show it became painfully evident to me that the time had come for my personal favorite.

Hopefully my talented friends have gone over the other details of tonight’s tragic episode, because I am far too melancholy to deal with the other insignificant particulars. Please, excuse me for a moment; I need to grab another Kleenex before I continue.

Okay, that’s better. Rather than discuss the heartbreaking trivialities that occurred during this evening’s tear-jerking program, I shall rank the ten remaining scoundrels. Please keep in mind that this is how I want them to finish, not how I think it will end up. Not that it really matters, they are all jerks…

10. Abi – hopefully this Rosie Perez-sounding little shrew will get eaten by a shark or something. I can’t stand her. She was mean to RC. The sooner she is gone, the better.

 9. Peter – this guy has to go because he said, and I quote, “I never liked RC.” The audacity of this creep! Maybe when he gets voted off he can go buy a personality.

 8. Lisa – I’ve had just about enough of Blair. I just wish that they had HD television during her Facts of Life days rather than now. The woman looks like she is perpetually crying.

 7. Carter – is this season’s Jeff Spicoli wannabe. Too bad Ray Walston isn’t around to reprise his role as Mr. Hand so he could tell this boob, “I think you know where the front office is.”

 6. Artis – okay, I know, you’re an angry old black man with two earrings in each ear. Blah, blah, blah. Listen, I remember Special Agent Phil from season 22 and you sir, are no Special Agent Phil.

 5. Skupin – should just get out of there before he hurts himself. He’s living on borrowed time. It’s blowing my mind that he has gone two consecutive episodes without opening a gash on his body.

 4. Denise – I could almost root for her. She is smart, extremely athletic and understands the social aspect of the game. Her only drawback is the way she contorts her face while she nods knowingly at Tribal Council.

 3. Penner – is another castaway that I am close to pulling for. He is the spitting image of Alan Alda and frequently sports a Russell Hantz style hat. However, that little scene in the ocean with the sack-eyed Lisa made me vomit in my mouth.

 2. Malcolm – this hunky oaf is a super-sized version of Ozzy. Sure he’s probably the best competitor on the island, I get that. But come on, Lisa “got any Visine?” Whelchel found his Hidden Immunity Idol while rummaging through his drawers.

1. Jeff – I started out not liking him because he was a red ass when he played for the Blue Jays, Mets, Indians, Giants, Astros and Dodgers. Then he began to grow on me, I liked the way he played. Then I recalled that he was a red ass when he played for the Blue Jays, Mets, Indians, Giants, Astros and Dodgers.

Full disclosure: I had decided to use the photos of our favorite castaways next to our sections before the show began. Good thing I did. Poor RC. Man, I need to blow my nose. Crap, I probably look like Lisa by now…

Until next time…from the booth.

2 comments:

Leplume said...

Ahahahaha! Poor Paul...I'm deeply sorry for your loss. But hey! She'll be on the jury so you'll still see her each week...even if it will be brief. Okay, I have one beef with you so quit your sniveling and listen up. LOL

Why do you get a photo of RC languishing almost nude at the water's edge and I get the stock photo of Malcolm fully clothed??? Not happy, Paul...Not happy. Oh, wait I have another beef...comparing Malcolm to that Ozzy person is truly uncalled for. Yes, they are both tanned and have long hair but Ozzy was an arrogant ass whom, if you recall, I hated with a passion! Never speak the name Malcolm in the same sentence with Ozzy again. LOL!!

Paul E. Vagnoni said...

BWAHAHAHA!!! I didn't think you would notice. I got that photo of RC from her Facebook page. I follow her on Twitter as well. There is a photo of her at Wrigley Field…