Saturday, November 3, 2012

Hi, I’m Me

Back on August 5, 2008 I wrote a blog titled, “Prejudice On A Large Scale”. It was about the way our society treats “people of size”. If you want to read it, you can find it in the Archives section on the right side of this site. Yesterday I did just that and read it again myself. It got me to thinking about myself.

Well, actually there was something else that also got me thinking about myself. While doing a little straightening out in the basement, I came across some old photographs. Some were vintage pictures of my siblings, cousins and I acting goofy when we were kids. But those weren’t the ones that put me in a reflective mood. The photos that had the audacity to make me think range from the late ‘80s to the late ‘90s.

Some of the photos were from when I was of “normal” proportions. My weight hadn’t been this low since junior high school. Early junior high school. As a child, Ma always shopped in the “husky” section for my clothes. I was “normal” for approximately 2 years of my adult life, with transitional periods on either side.

The earliest photos were from a get-together at The Express tavern with some of the old 400 Club gang. Jimmy G, Munk, Bigs and Merf were among the luminaries attending the soirée. From the looks of the pics, I had not started morphing toward “normalcy”, but I looked like I was having a good time.

The next group of pictures was from after I had gone through my personal metamorphism. I had lost more than half of what I used to way. I was “normal”. These photos featured the two ladies I went out with during this period, Denise and Michelle. I have a big smile on my face in all of these pics.

The final batch was from my cousin Melissa’s wedding and a going-away party for a guy I worked with at Lida Manufacturing. I was no longer “normal” in these photos, but still looked very happy.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention one other photo. It was from July 1992. It was after my relationship had ended with Denise and before I had become involved with Michelle. It was at taken at Pickles Pub in Baltimore. I was attending a seminar for Koos Inc. at the time. Well, not when the picture was taken. Here, see for yourself:



Those were the Bud Dry Girls. I think if I would have smiled anymore my face would have exploded. Ya, I was definitely in good spirits that evening.

Every one of those 17 photos made me think. A lot. It made me realize that I was never “normal”, no matter how much I weighed. I was always just me, the fat jolly guy who wanted everyone to be happy. And for the most part, I am happy.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not always fun being super-sized, and as I grow older it limits me from doing some things that I would like to do. But I choose not to dwell on what I can’t do and try to make the most out of what I can do.

After doing all of this thinking, I have decided that I will always be me and will never be “normal”. Okay, no more thinking. After I post this blog, I plan on posting the other 16 photographs on Facebook. Take a look at them and check out how happy I am being me.

Until next time…from the booth.

4 comments:

bev doris beryl.cooper said...

paul you are what you are and we all still love you xxx lovely story x

Paul E. Vagnoni said...

Thanks, Bev.

Leplume said...

As a "person of size" myself, I also have looked back at photos and have seen the various sizes I've been throughout the years. And, like you, in those photos I am pretty happy no matter what size. But I think true happiness came to me when I stopped second guessing myself and allowing other people to tell me what I should look like. Self acceptance is a powerful and happy thing, my friend! I'v never actually even met you but I have a feeling that you are exactly as I know you to be and that makes me happy too!

Paul E. Vagnoni said...

Thank you, MB! I'm glad you're happy!