Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Survivor 25.10

The Official Survivor: Philippines Recap Trilogy for week ten:

Mary Beth’s 2Cents: I didn't take many notes tonight during this episode of Survivor. I'm in the middle of a raging cold, congestion and coughing, so it was better for me just sit quietly under my blanky and watch. Sick or not, I can tell you, my bullshit meter was on high! More about that later…

I found it both funny and odd that Lisa felt the need to “break up” with Abi. She made it official by having a heart to heart that ol' Mrs. Garrett would have approved of. She told her she simply couldn't align with anyone who didn't trust her. Abi pretty much shrugged her shoulders and that was that.

At the Reward Challenge, it was apparent that Abi had no clue on the rules of the game. A race between two people to overturn three large drums before the other person can turn your drums over. Abi ran out and just started hurling drums from both teams giving their opponents the point. I wanted to chalk that up to the fact that Abi has sat out of nearly all the other challenges but then Skupin did the same thing! And his mistake cost his team the win. Yay, Skupin.

After returning from the reward – massages, baths and loads of food – Abi proceeds to swoon over how wonderful it all was as the others eat their daily portion of rice. Just when I thought she couldn't possibly be more self-centered, she started in again talking about how her belly was so full and sticking out! Afterwards, for reasons I'm not sure of, she announces that she will no longer work around camp but will rather “enjoy” the rest of her time out there. Denise said it best. “Whiners are wieners!”

At Immunity Challenge, an obstacle course on land and in water whereby a buoy is run along a rope that is twisted and knotted, the competition got whittled down to Denise, Skupin and Carter. It wasn't a great challenge. Call me jaded, but Survivor has had some great challenges and this wasn't one of them.

Anyway, Carter wins and it's off to Tribal. Abi apparently forgot that Lisa broke up with her because she tried to “tell” Lisa which way to vote and Lisa had to kindly remind her that they were no longer dating. Pete did his best to get Skupin to take his side but Skupin is… well, he's Skupin… and there's no telling what that man might do at any given moment.

Meanwhile at Tribal...

This is where my bullshit meter went ballistic.

As Probst started his usual Q and A with the group, suddenly Abi was the perceived “target” of the hatred of the rest of the group! What?? Probst even suggested, more than once I might add, that it was her cultural difference that was making the others misunderstand her intentions.

Give me a break!

I get that English is her second language, but she knows, and has known all along full well what she's been doing. I live with someone who has English as his second language. He is fully aware of how to pick up social cues and knows how to recognize other people's intentions.

This pity party Probst was throwing for Abi wasn't cutting it with me. She's not a nice person. She's self-centered, paranoid and hateful. And the reason she was suddenly teary eyed and being the victim is because she knows she is the next person gone. Good riddance!

I'm going back under my blanky now. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Jamie’s Prognosis: The tides had turned after Artis was voted off last week, and Abi and Pete were feeling; humbled. Nervous. Ready to make new friends? NOT! Of course Abi was over the top with the abrasive and self-righteous as always. Lisa Whelchel, who I could see as a cat hoarder if she hadn’t gotten a major role on a TV show as a kid, was still trying to make nicey nice with Abi by just telling her straight out that she was leaving her alliance.

I have to give Lisa credit. As annoying as her sugar and spice and everything nice act is, it seems to be working for her so far. She told Abi she would be perfectly happy just to come in 6th, and then she said to the camera with a glow in her eyes that the game had radically changed her life. We shall see Lisa. I read somewhere that you had malaria. That’s a change.

The Reward challenge involved running around in circles and flipping some drums over. I’m a little unclear on the details because I was making mashed potatoes for our Thanksgiving dinner. But apparently I wasn’t the only one who didn’t understand.

Abi, who rarely participates in challenges, started running the wrong way but I couldn’t legitimately bash her because I didn’t get it either. In spite of her poor performance her team, also consisting of Malcolm, Carter, and Slippery Pete, won. So off the four of them went to have spa treatments and copious amounts of food and drink.

 Now those familiar with the game of Survivor know that when you return to camp with clean hair and a full stomach you downplay it. You make it sound like it wasn’t all that great… ”Yeah it was okay, I guess”.

Not Abi.

She regaled the other four with descriptions of all that they ate, her bloated belly, how beautiful and clean she felt, that she felt like “Cinderella”. Seriously, this girl has no social skills at all and is clearly afflicted by a major personality disorder.

Sensing the irritation of everyone else she decided to do damage control by going on strike from doing any cooking for the others. Nice. Hey Cinderella, now I’m judging: You couldn’t even figure out which way to run in the challenge. No one is LESS deserving of a bath and food than you. Denise said it best, quoting from some of Sigmund Freud’s seminal work I am sure; “whiners are wieners”.

The Immunity Challenge involved pushing a buoy through a bunch of twisted rope. My girl Denise looked awesome. She is just fierce! She almost made it to the end, but Carter pulled away in the end and won.

Of course Pete and Abi were on the chopping block, but Abi has a Hidden Immunity Idol. So the plan would be to split the vote between Pete and Abi with the hope that Abi would play her idol.

Abi, sensing trouble, tried to work over Lisa who, like Abraham Lincoln cannot tell a lie and told her that she couldn’t promise she wouldn’t vote for her. Pete, also sensing trouble, set his sights on Malcolm trying to get Skupin to align with them and get him out. I could feel Mary Beth’s angst (in case you haven’t picked up on it, she digs Malcolm).

At Tribal Council all eyes were on Abi and she began to run her mouth. She tried to summon up some fake tears and then explained that some of her bad behavior is because English is a second language to her.

Really? English as a second language makes people become assholes? I think not.

She tried to act upset, but she is a terrible actress and something is SERIOUSLY wrong with her. No matter though. She played her Immunity Idol as expected and then Pete got voted off, just in time to pick up with the rest of One Direction on their North American tour.

I won’t miss Pete. And I look forward to Abi’s ouster. Soon please!!!

The Booth’s Bits: Since this is Thanksgiving Eve, my portion of the Trilogy will focus on the things that I am thankful for in season 25 of Survivor. Hopefully Mary Beth and Jamie did their usual stellar job of covering the details of tonight’s episode.

I am most thankful for Roberta Saint-Amour, better known as RC. Did you see the striking leopard print skirt she was rocking at Tribal Council tonight? I’m so thankful.

I am also thankful that the lame blindside of Malcolm that Scabby and Pete concocted fell through. I don’t think Mary Beth could have handled her boyfr…, er, Malcolm being voted off. It’s way too late in the season to find someone to fill the leadoff spot of the Trilogy.

Because of the failed blindside, I am thankful that Pete the narcissist was sent home. I almost vomited in my mouth after he had his Reward meal and basically said he was unbeatable. He proclaimed he was both athletic, smart and now he had fuel. I’m surprised he left out his roguish good looks.

I am very thankful to Executive Producer Mark Burnett for, not only casting RC this season, but for those stunning shots of her walking along the beach away from the camera in her leopard bikini. Cinematic gold…

Another thing I am thankful for is Jonathan Penner. Being a huge fan of both M*A*S*H and Russell Hantz, Penner satisfies my appreciation of both. He has not only embodied Alan Alda’s Hawkeye Pierce character, but he has sported a Hantz-like chapeau throughout the season.

After tonight’s Tribal Council, I was reminded to be thankful for Emmy award-winning host Jeff Probst. I have admired Probst’s work since season 1, but tonight could have been his finest moment. His relentless badgering of Scabby was inspired! He refused to let up until he reduced her to tears. It was a thing of beauty. Tomorrow I shall raise my drumstick to Jeff Probst.

I am also thankful for both Facebook and Twitter. These two social networks have provided me with additional methods to follow the jaw-dropping RC. Kudos to both of them for making this supplementary access possible.

Even though Scabby irritates the hell out of me and all the remaining castaways, I am thankful for at least one more week of her. Not only does she provide some necessary drama, she also has a respectable derrière. With RC relegated to the Jury, this aspect of the show was definitely lacking. Denise and Lisa just aren’t capable of filling this void.

Lastly, I am thankful that Survivor is still around for a 25th season. It allows me to be a part of the Official Survivor Recap Trilogy with Mary Beth and Jamie. Hopefully, between the three of us, we can provide some laughs for Fellow Survivor Geeks throughout the world.

Here are my updated “How I Want Them To Finish” rankings:

1. Penner (Hawkeye Pierce)
2. Malcolm (Mary Beth’s boyfr…)
3. Denise (Sex Therapist to the Corn)
4. Carter (Spicoli)
5. Skupin (Needs to start bleeding again)
6. Lisa (Drama Mama)
7. Scabby (Probst’s Biotch)

Happy Thanksgiving! Until next time…from the booth.

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