Here is the Official Bodacious Baldies Survivor: Caramoan Recap for week two:
As excited as I get about the season opening episode of Survivor, I have to admit that I enjoy the second episode even more. Why, you ask? Because that’s when they start getting into the personalities of the players and let us, the viewers, start to see who these people really are. Now, tonight's episode was pretty standard Survivor fare – showing highlights from each tribe as they learn to live together and work together as a team.
Yeah, well that didn't start out very well.
Coming back from the first Tribal Council, Brandon Hantz gets his undies all in a bundle because he thinks it was heartless to vote Francesca off first again. For some reason, he goes after Dawn for this though I seem to recall there were many other votes for Francesca, not just Dawn's. Dawn tries to explain herself but Hantz kind of blows her over.
The next thing we know, Dawn is crying because Brandon is being “mean” to her. Crying?? Really?? It's only Day Three for craps sake! There's no crying allowed! Least of all because someone is being mean to you! Hantz tries to invoke the spirit of his Uncle Russell and threatens to reek havoc on the island for some sort of avenging of the ousting of Francesca! Sheesh!
Over at Gota, Shamar is lying around doing nothing and generally annoying the others who are all doing something. He believes he's conserving his energy and his two tours in Iraq have somehow made it his right to do so. I have to confess I have a problem with Gota. I, for the life of me, cannot remember any of these non-descript players’ names. I remember Shamar and Reynolds. Then there are a lot of blonde people and some other young guy.
They are so uninteresting that even when I see their names on the screen I immediately forget them! Anyway, there's an older blonde that wants to keep Shamar around and she's got 5 other people on her side against the “pretty” foursome so it looks like they're at least trying to make it interesting.
Back at Bikal, Cochran is trying to counsel Brandon to help him be a better person. Brandon calms down and decides he can't be like his Uncle so he tells Cochran he'll be good. Is it me or does Cochran, in a very short time, look like some kind of homeless wino elf? Cochran, AKA Captain Obvious, declares that Brandon is “unpredictable”.
Speaking of unpredictable, Philip, still in his pink undies, tries to psychoanalyze Brandon telling him that he, Philip, is the CEO of the corporation and Brandon is Middle Management on a “need to know” basis. Sheesh!
At Immunity/Reward Challenge, the two tribes compete in a watery ring toss challenge where they first have to swim out to get on a raft, get towed to a pier, jump in and release some inner tubes, then get the inner tubes back by being towed to shore when a tribe mate then has to ring three posts.
It all started out pretty close but then something weird happened. No one on the Fans side could swim all of a sudden. When they got to the part to jump in and release the inner tubes no one could do it! The same blonde person kept jumping in over and over again but they could only get one tube. The Faves easily won Immunity and for reward they won fishing gear.
Afterwards, Philip started talking about how he is the leader of an organization called Stealth R Us. He gave all the other members of his alliance nicknames. They all smiled politely and nodded but I could hear their collective thought that this guy was completely crazy!
Before the Fans head off to Tribal Council, Reynold takes a look around for a hidden immunity idol. Now, in my opinion, whoever is in charge of hiding these “hidden” idols needs to fired. It's been way to easy to find these things for the past few seasons now. I swear he looked for about 30 seconds and he found the damn thing.
His joy was short lived though when one of the blondes saw him put it in his pocket. He wears these really tight cargo shorts and he either had an idol or he was happy to see her! She made this an issue at council and he was forced to reveal to the rest that he had it.
Reynold and Shamar get into it some more when Reynold's tries to point out what a lazy sack he thinks Shamar is. Shamar again tells them he's not lazy, he's a Marine and has been to Iraq! (I will never understand his logic with that excuse but there it is.) It didn't matter anyway because the non-pretty people banded together and voted out one of the pretty people leaving Reynold's to shake his head in wonder and Shamar hanging on for one more try.
I do believe this is going to be an outstanding seasons. Man, oh man! There are already numerous alliances being formed. We have more interesting characters than you can shake a stick at. The challenges have been new and challenging. We got it all this time around. I have only two minor complaints about tonight’s show. One is that they combined the Reward and Immunity Challenges. I always feel cheated when that happens. The other was that Reynold found a Hidden Immunity Idol in less than a minute. Please. Who does he think he is, Russell Hantz?
Because Mary Beth always does such an excellent job going over the details of the episode, I thought that I would elaborate on the current alliances and some of the more entertaining personalities.
So far there are three main alliances, of which the Gota (Fans) Tribe has two – the Pretty People and the Misfits. The Pretties consist of Reynold, Eddie, Allie and Hope. The Misfits are made up of ZZ Top wannabe Matt, Michael, Julie, Sherri, Laura and 300 lb. Iraq vet Shamar.
Unfortunately for the Pretties, after Allie got voted out, they are down to only three. On the plus side, leader of the Pretty People does have the afore mentioned Hidden Immunity Idol. How much of an advantage this will be remains to be seen, because everyone at Gota knows he has it. This is due to the fact that Misfit Laura noticed the “bulge” in his pocket.
On the Bikal (Faves) side of the island there is only one alliance, but it is a doozy – Stealth R Us, Inc. headed up by Special Agent Phil. He even assigned official names. I’m not real clear on all of them, but here’s what I got:
Special Agent Phil – The Specialist
Corrine – The Dominatrix
Malcolm – The Enforcer
Cochran – Intelligence Attaché
Andrea – The Eliminator
Dawn – True Grit
Quite an impressive group and leaves only Brenda, Erik and Brandon on the outside of Stealth R Us, Inc. But truth be told, I’m not sure how long this alliance will be together. I think Special Agent Phil is the only one that is real serious about it. But it sure is amusing.
I mentioned that there are a good number of eccentric characters in season 26. Special Agent Phil heads that list. Some of the others:
Cochran – Fellow Survivor Geek Jamie’s favorite geek. He does sort of grow on you.
Shamar – the Iraq vet that is not only large, but also loud. And very obnoxious.
Matt – the tattooed and bearded one who tends to overanalyze.
Sherri – she wants to mold Shamar into her personal Special Agent Phil. Okay, let's see how that works.
Michael – I think he has been holding his flamboyance in check so far.
Last, but not least, is Brandon. Wow, where do I start? Since he was last on Survivor he has added more bad ink to his body than Dennis Rodman. Plus, it looks like he has a broken pencil sticking out of his left earlobe. That’s not the crazy part of Brandon. That would be his schizophrenic personality.
If he isn’t attacking someone viciously, he’s either crying about or talking to God. There’s no in between with this boy. As if that weren’t enough, tonight he told Erik (why is this guy a Fave) that he felt like going “Russell Hantz” on everyone. Will he morph into his evil uncle? I don’t know, but during next week’s coming attractions he was threatening to piss in the water and the rice and possibly burn the camp down. Sounds reasonable to me.
That being said, I can’t wait to see if he does! I love this show. Until next time…from the booth.