Google It!

In the opening segment of the very first episode of Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, Russell “the Hall-of-Famer” Hantz made the following declaration, “Villains are smarter than Heroes. It’s a proven fact. Google it!” That statement, for at least the fifth or sixth time this season, proved prophetic again this evening. The surprising thing is, the Villain outsmarting the Heroes wasn’t the Hall-of-Famer. Tonight, the person doing the outsmarting was none other than Parvati, the evil Queen of the Villains.

And in doing so, she even outsmarted the evil King of the Villains, the Hall-of-Famer!

At Tribal Council, prior to award-winning Jeff Probst reading the votes, the Good Guys waited with baited breath for Parvati to use the Hidden Immunity Idol. If she did indeed use it, it would expose the Hall-of-Famer as the rat everyone (except for J.T. the dolt) knows he is.

I believe that it was Rupert who said, “We plan on ousting Russell for the weasel that he is!” Well Rupert, I got news for you, there’s a new weasel in town, and her name is Parvati.

When Parvati stood up and pulled out the Hidden Immunity Idol, the Heroes looked pleased as punch. That look was quickly wiped off of their collective face when she turned and handed it to Sandra. Not only were the Heroes shocked, so was the Hall-of-Famer. In fact, even Sandra had a look of disbelief on her face.

Pretty good stuff, eh? Well, you hadn’t seen anything yet. What Parvati did next was unbelievable. No, what she did next was EPIC!

After presenting the Hidden Immunity Idol to the astonished Sandra, she promptly announced to everyone present, “And to increase our chances, I want to give this to Jerri.” With that she produced a second Hidden Immunity Idol and gave it to a wide-eyed Jerri.

The jaws of the Heroes dropped in unison. J.T. sheepishly squeaked out an, “Oh shit”, that was barely audible, while the Hall-of-Famer uttered to no one in particular, “Someone has got some explaining to do.”

What this epic move meant was that any votes cast for Sandra or Jerri would not count. And you will never guess who the moronic J.T. and every one of his band of Good Guy geniuses voted for. That’s right, Jerri!

So it was only fitting that Heroes “mastermind” J.T. received the other five votes and was told by Probst that he was the eleventh person voted off of Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains. The tribe had definitely spoken.

Well class, what did we learn tonight? We learned that the Hall-of-Famer has competition for being the most despicable scoundrel in Survivor history. We also learned that Parvati, although is a snarky, self-centered, attention craving bitch, she knows how to play the game of Survivor. And most importantly, we learned that Villains are smarter than Heroes. And it’s a proven fact. Don’t believe me? Google it!

Until next time…from the booth.