The Big Bad Dog

Yesterday while perusing the Weather/TV section of the Kenosha News, I came across the following blurb by Kevin McDonough of United Feature Syndicate:

“Part of the agony of watching a promising show die an early death is the knowledge that all too often the truly undeserving goes on and on. In this spirit, please note that tonight marks the 200th episode of Dog the Bounty Hunter.”

The gall of that man! Did he ever think that maybe some of us enjoy Dog the Bounty Hunter? Was he even aware that there was a daylong marathon celebrating this historic event? Probably not.

Perhaps he was just attempting to be snarky at the expense of those that choose not worship at the altar of American Idol. Different strokes for different folks, Kev!

For those of you not familiar with the show that Mr. McDonough was taking a pot shot at, here is the Reader’s Digest version of what this entertaining program is all about.

Dog the Bounty Hunter is a reality television show on A&E which chronicles Duane “Dog” Chapman’s operations at his job as a bounty hunter, at Da Kine Bail Bonds in Honolulu, Hawaii.

Each week his wife and business partner, Beth Smith Chapman, his children Leland Chapman, Duane Lee Chapman II, and “Baby” Lyssa Chapman-Galanti join Dog, working together as bail bondsmen and bounty hunters.


A typical show begins with a brief clip of the Dog and a part of his rather large family frolicking on a beautiful Hawaiian beach. Then it’s down to business.

At his Da Kine Bail Bonds office, the Dog reveals to his crew whom they are going after. After he gives a physical description, they discuss just how dangerous this person is and how they must be extremely cautious.

The next order of business is to “suit up”. This entails putting on a bunch of black stuff; bulletproof vests, gloves, hats and most importantly, sunglasses. The only exception to the all-black motif is Beth. Most of her accessories are pink. Go figure.

Now it’s time to chase down the bad guy. But not before they say the ubiquitous pre-hunt prayer. This is where everyone holds hands in a circle and the Dog asks Jesus to help them capture this dirty, rotten creep and make the world a safer place.

The next portion of the show deals with the tracking and the subsequent capture of their prey. Typically, the perp is violently thrown to the ground to a barrage of foul language that would make the most profane dockworker blush.

The final step of the process is for the crew to transport the ruthless wrongdoer to jail. Along the way, the Dog and his team will give their prisoner a cigarette, feed them, enter them into a rehab program and convert them to Christianity. It’s a beautiful thing.

Just as it began, the show usually ends with the Dog and the rest of the Chapman clan enjoying themselves in some sort of family activity. Remember, I told you that the Dog has a rather large family?

Here is a list of the Dogs progenies: Christopher Chapman, Duane Lee Chapman II, Leland Blaine Chapman, Wesley Chapman, Zebediah “Zeb” Duane Chapman, James Chapman, Nicholas Chapman, Barbara Katy Chapman, Tucker Dee Chapman, Lyssa “Baby Lyssa” Chapman, Bonnie Jo Chapman and Garry Chapman.

What a wonderful show! Now you can see why I chose to watch Dog the Bounty Hunter rather than American Idol. Nothing against the fans of American Idol, but to each their own.

Besides, it was the 200th episode of Dog the Bounty Hunter. And despite what that pantywaist Kevin McDonough says, I enjoyed it! Until next time…from the booth.