Saturday, January 22, 2011

Gangsta Names

You can blame this blog on my friend Michael Chagdes. This is his entire fault, it really is. The other day he put a link to the Gangsta Name Generator. Yes that’s right, the Gangsta Name Generator. You simply type in a name and a Gangsta Name is miraculously generated for you. Honest. I’m not making this up. Actually, the thing is pretty cool.

Before I go any further, I should provide a couple definitions of “Gangsta” from the Urban Dictionary. That way everyone will be on the same page. Here are two of the better ones:

1. A sociopathic member of the inner-city underclass, known primarily for being antisocial and uneducated. Also known for ready access to illegal drugs and weapons, and staggeringly poor marksmanship.

2. One who willfully promotes and participates in destructive and self-serving culture in an effort to project a particular image of 'toughness' or to make oneself intimidating. Willingness to blatantly and horrifically misuse English is a necessity, as is a low IQ and sub-par education (or at least the appearance thereof).

Now that you know what a Gangsta is and how I discovered the Gangsta Name Generator, I would like to share some of the Gangsta names that I came up with for family and friends that follow this blog.

Gangsta Names

Sue Symes – Secret Ass Grabba
Beryl Cooper – Slippin Gorilla
Debbie Lammas – Fat Ugly Drug Smuggla
Mary Beth Lindqvist – Ribbed Shrinky Nutz
Julie Schuler – Heavy Buddha Balls
Jamie Cairo – Dances with Gatmasta
Pat Hegewald – Mista Biyatch Ass
Gary Schneeberger – Rank Dirty Chinaman
Greg Turco – Sherman Tank Guatemalan
Sharon Chilson – Slimy Shrinky Nutz
Judi Cornfoot – Rubba-Lipped Dung Beetle
Sharon Buege – Supa-Sprung Mule Robba
Karen Norris – Secret Canadian
Karen Rorek – Broken Rot Sloth
John Schwarz – Janky Bastard
Michael Chagdes – Chewy tha Guatemalan
Rose Chagdes – Slippin Pimp
Patty McGuire Moran Kilkenny – Drunken German Fool
Peter Pham – Janky Jimmy Jamma
Maureen Cox – Slippin Biyaaatch
Gus Cox – Threepac Prison Fish
Joe Vagnoni – Slippin Crab Whacka
Nancy Vagnoni – Tree Trunk Rat Snatcher
Janet Vagnoni – Rank Dirty Scratchy Nutz
John Vagnoni – Cold Canadian
Ann Vagnoni – Dirty Red Snappa
Susan Murphy – Heavy Buddha Balls
Milly Vagnoni – Off Da Hook Pud
Paul Vagnoni – Supa-Sprung Skull Cruncha

My apologies go out to those of you who received the more “colorful” names, but it’s not my fault. The Gangsta Name Generator came up with them. And, for some unknown reason, Julie and Susan get the same lovely name.

If you don’t believe me about these names, see for yourself. Click on Gangsta Name Generator and check it out.

On this site you can also generate Pirate, Mexican Wrestler, Pet, Taxi Drive and Mafia names as well. Being of Italian descent, I decided to run the same list and see what the Mafia names would be. I just had to.

Mafia Names

Sue Symes – Sabina Monkeyface
Beryl Cooper – Lucia Monkeyface
Debbie Lammas – Nina Costa
Mary Beth Lindqvist – Clarice De Luca
Julie Schuler – Silvia Greco
Jamie Cairo – Big Ass Alice De Luca
Pat Hegewald – No Brainer Jake
Gary Schneeberger – Fabiano The Snitch
Greg Turco – Giorgio Brassi
Sharon Chilson – Gina The Snack
Judi Cornfoot – Razor Blade Lana
Sharon Buege – Bad Breath Marta
Karen Norris – Epileptic Sara Barrow
Karen Rorek – Sandra Soprano
John Schwarz – Alfredo The Crank
Michael Chagdes – Decrepit Valentino Delucci
Rose Chagdes – Alley Cat Luisa
Patty McGuire Moran Kilkenny – Sabina Costa
Peter Pham – Chicken Fried Bruno
Maureen Cox – Luisa The Killer
Gus Cox – Salvatore Milano
Joe Vagnoni – Dapper Fabiano Delucci
Nancy Vagnoni – Busted Kneecaps Melissa
Janet Vagnoni – Green Luisa Rizzo
John Vagnoni – Angelo Barrow
Ann Vagnoni – Green Sheila Giamatti
Susan Murphy – Silvia Greco
Milly Vagnoni – Ruth Bruno
Paul Vagnoni – Decrepit Fabrizio Costa

Some of these Mafia names are worse than their Gangsta counterparts. I especially apologize to Jamie. Well enough names for now. Go to Gangsta Name Generator and have some fun. I’m going to listen to Nick Digilio and watch Roadhouse now.

Until next time…from the booth.


Anonymous said...

Hey Paul,
I love the link! But can you tell me why when I type in the name Leon Rosko, it generates the gangsta name "Leon Rosko"? Guess you can't mess with perfection. Pack 27 Chicaco 13. Gotta go now. Rex promised me a foot rub.

Kool Papa

Paul E. Vagnoni said...

Listen Janky Bastard, don't be messing with Whipped Gatmasta! By the way, do you like the way I used J.P.'s picture for the blog?

Anonymous said...

True dat, on the JP likeness. However, is Mercedes Rollin' Tang Chasa any way to address the Sheriff of Kenosha County, AKA the fastest slow guy/ slowest fast guy in Kenosha softball history? And who's wearin' who's underwear when the batting order is made out?

Kool Papa

Anonymous said...

Now, I'm torn. I was sold on the site when they came up with No Pants Gangsta for John Tracy, but was a bit chagrined when they saddled my mom with sumthin' Ho Slappa. I forgot what the first word was. (I'm on my 7th Captain and Coke) I guess you shouldn't put your mom's name in there. I gotta go find where Nick hid the nail clipper.
Kool Papa

Sue said...

Ha ha - think they got that slightly wrong - Secret Ass Grabba - should be See through Blouse Wearer !! and as for the Slippin Gorilla and the Fat Ugly Drug Smuggla .... ha ha.

Paul E. Vagnoni said...

Kool Papa, I plead the fifth, that's right the fifth, on who's wearing whose underwear. Did you find the nail clipper?

Sue, what can I say? The Gangsta Name Generator doesn't lie! I just hope Doris and Debs don't sock me!

Gregory (Greg) P Turco said...

Listen Decrepit Fabrizio Costa,

It takes a lotta guts to post names like these.

You know Paulie Vagnoni is pretty Mafia already.

My Mafia and Gangsta alter-egos are Bear fans -- I can't see Mafiosi or rappers in Green and Gold.

Giorgio Brassi

Paul E. Vagnoni said...

Hey Giorgio Brassi,

Thanks! My middle name is Enrico and I took the name Christopher for my Confirmation name. So I guess you are right, Paul Enrico Christopher Vagnoni does have a Mafioso sound to it.

Decrepit Fabrizio Costa

Leplume said...

Ribbed Shrinky Nutz??? Good lord I did a spit take when I read that! LMAO!!!

Paul E. Vagnoni said...

Mary Beth, at least it wasn't as bad as the name that they hung on Jamie!

Pet Taxi said...

Thanks for sharing this great article! That is very interesting smile I love reading and I am always searching for informative information like this! You are bookmarked!

Pet Taxi

Paul E. Vagnoni said...

Thanks for reading, Pet Taxi! I'm glad you enjoyed my blog. Just curious how you found it!