Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Survivor 26.7

Here is the Official Bodacious Baldies Survivor: Caramoan Recap for week seven:

Mary Beth’s 2Cents: To be honest, I wasn't expecting much excitement in tonight's episode of Survivor. At some point, in each season, they hit the wall and there are two or three episodes where not a whole lot of action takes place. After the Brandon Hantz meltdown it stood to reason that the next couple of shows would be snooze fests. Still, Survivor does not disappoint. Even when there is a lack of action there is always something amusing happening which is why I watch season after season.

Tonight Philip was so full of himself that he almost became a cartoon. He started out by extolling the good folks of Bikal with statements of just how physically strong he really is. He even illustrated the point by arm wrestling… Cochran? I'm no expert on arm wrestling but I think choosing the one person with absolutely no body strength at all is not the more honest way to show how strong you are. I'm pretty sure I could take Cochran in an arm wrestling match!

The display of strength sure pumped Philip up though and he was confident he would lead the tribe to victory at Reward Challenge. It was a foot race of sorts with each person carrying 20lb sand bags as they were all tethered together going in circles. When the last person standing races to the end, he or she is carrying all the weight.

Philip took the lead position after much arguing and then, once there, proceeded to poop out right away. He wasn't able to run at all so they walked helplessly behind him as he struggled. He finally just fell over leaving Mike to try to get to the end. It was a miserable failure.

Back at camp, he played it off by saying “It was just a reward!” and somehow, pathetically, they all agreed. In the meantime, Gota is enjoying a Coffee Bar with sandwiches, chocolate and cookies. Malcolm was so happy he gleefully kissed everyone in the tribe causing a slight stir of jealousy to course through me. Wait… What? Um… Where was I? Oh yes, I was appreciating the fact that tonight's episode featured a lot of Malcolm. Malcolm strategizing, Malcolm laughing, Malcolm conniving, Malcolm just being gorgeous… it was a good night.

Being the smart hottie that he is, Malcolm started looking ahead and realized that in a merge he and the other muscly men (Reynold, Eddie and Erik) would be on the outs. He enlists Reynold and gets him to join up. Reynold's is so trusting he even lets Malcolm know he has an idol. Now Malcolm is sitting pretty to run this show since he now knows where two idols are and one is in his pocket!

At Immunity Challenge, each team had to row out to retrieve a statue. They bring that back to shore and set it on a base. They then grapple hook five keys to unlock the base and pull a rope to make it rise. First to the top wins. The first part of this challenge was even Steven. It wasn't until they started grappling that things fell apart quickly with Philip being completely unable to catch a key. Gota wins immunity and Bikal is off to Tribal.

Back at Bikal, Philip keeps telling Julia he wants to take her along but cannot guarantee how far she'll go. He also tells he not to tell anyone else so she, of course, runs over to Dawn to tell her all about it and Dawn goes back to Philip immediately to rat out Julia. This, naturally, makes the Special Agent pissed so he decides Julia should go next… or maybe not. Because when he hears Corrine talking about keeping Michael he doesn't like the fact that she is having an independent thought so he goes off the deep end and excuses her from the conversation entirely. And she goes. And the others all stand there and watch. So weird.

It seems that when Philip sees they are getting out of control all he has to do is mention that he played this game with Boston Rob and they all fall back into line. Cochran fears this will all come to a head at tribal but it doesn't. Everyone plays nice. They split the vote as Philip demanded and then, after a revote, timid Julia is sent home. It's just as well. She was the most nondescript boring people to ever have played this game.

Now I'm going to watch the Walking Dead marathon. Hmm, maybe Survivor would be more exciting if every once in a while a zombie herd stomped through camp eating the brains and entrails of the weaker players. Ah, nah… I would miss Cochran. LOL!

Vag’s Evaluation: While tonight’s episode wasn’t overly spectacular, it was satisfying on several different levels. First of all, there were two challenges. This, as Mary Beth well knows, pleases me greatly. Secondly, there were a couple of decent quotes. I always love a good quote from a castaway. Next, my feelings toward two of the favorites did a complete 180° turn tonight. Didn’t see that coming. And, lastly, I finally found my “girlfriend” for this season. Hey, Mary Beth has her Malcolm…

Let’s start with the challenges. The Reward Challenge was a Survivor Classic! The members of each tribe are linked together and must carry a 20 lb. sack around a large oval track in waist high water. The tribes start directly across from each other with goal being to catch up the other tribe from behind.

Because Gota had an extra member they had to sit somebody out. They decided on the lithe Brenda. Although she didn’t actively participate in the challenge, she provided encouragement with some very animated cheerleading. I know that it inspired me. A lot.

The challenge itself wasn’t much of a contest. The misfits from Bikal were no match for the young bucks of Gota. They made short work of Special Agent Phillip’s bunch with Dawn and Andrea dropping out and Phillip collapsing right at the end.

Want to know what they were playing for?

The victorious Bikal tribe were whisked away to a coffee bar on another island that put to Starbucks® to shame. Besides various forms of java, there were brownies, cookies and numerous other sweet baked goods all being served by two lovely island girl baristas.

The reward did not impress Dawn from the losing Bikal tribe. Not in the least. When she saw the victorious Gota tribe bouncing about (led by Brenda) euphorically, she sneered, “They’re gonna get sick.” Then, with a toss of the head, she added, “It’s no big deal. It’s a diarrhea-fest.” I wasn’t exactly hankering a brownie after that.

However, at the island coffee bar, that wasn’t the case. There was much joy as the Bikal tribe dove enthusiastically into their tasty reward. It wasn’t long before all seven members of the tribe were relishing the effects of their caffeine and sugar induced buzz. In fact, Erick passed out, while Reynold squealed, “Spring break! No Parents!”

I told you there were some good quotes tonight.

The Immunity Challenge was made up of rowing, diving, and more rowing and then grappling hook tossing. Surprisingly, Gota came from behind and had a chance when it got down to the grappling hook portion of the challenge, pitting Phillip against Bikal’s Reynold. Despite a valiant effort by the Special Agent, Bikal was once again triumphant. This meant Gota would be going to Tribal Council and voting one of their tribe mates off.

After the challenge, Phillip pulls Cochran off to the side for a one-on-one clandestine meeting. Checking to make sure that nobody can here him, he tells the startled Cochran that he threw the challenge so they could vote off the innocuous Julia.


The Special Agent took a dive to insure eliminating the weakest member of his tribe. Of course Cochran saw right through this facade and declared Phillip as fully delusional. I wasn’t quite as polite. I said he was full of shit.

It was at this point that my fondness for the amusing antics of Special Agent Phillip immediately disappeared. I mean, come on! It’s one thing if you want to believe your own bullshit, but you can’t honestly expect others to fall for it. Especially someone as intellectually gifted as Cochran. What an insult to brilliant nerds everywhere! I am now a fan of Cochran.

Yes, you heard me right, Jamie. I dig your favorite dweeb.

I am sure that Mary Beth reported that Julia was indeed voted off by the dwindling Gota tribe. I guess the Special Agent’s plan worked. (I rolled my eyes as I typed that.) They are down to five with a much-needed merge looming next week.

That’s it for this week… Oh ya, I mentioned that I had finally found a “girlfriend” for this season. It was tough, RC was a hard act to follow. Anyway, my new Survivor is the coquettish Brenda. I had been keeping an eye on her the last few weeks and the perkiness she displayed while cheering Bikal during the Reward Challenge was what did it for me. Well, that and the underwater shots of her climbing up into the boat during the Immunity Challenge. Yep, Brenda is my girl.

Until next time…from the booth.

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