Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Survivor 26.5

Here is the Official Bodacious Baldies Survivor: Caramoan Recap for week five:

Mary Beth’s 2Cents: Well, Holy Hotheads Batman! I hardly know where to begin with this week's recap! Tonight's episode started out pretty much like every episode – with the previous week's losing tribe returning from Tribal and venting their frustrations. Gota (the Fans) were doing just that. Then the next day they all went out and started searching for the Hidden Immunity Idol. Again, so easily found! Reynold just puts his hand in a hole in a log and voila! He's got it!

At Bikal, (the Faves) things were starting to take a weird turn. Brandon was losing his mind. He began by talking about living with passion and how his passion was his family and how he was selfish to just leave them all to come play Survivor. He asked that he be voted off next should Bikal lose the Immunity Challenge.

But wait!

The next morning, he's had time to think and tells them he is really there to play and knows he should stay! He also tells them that he was thinking of peeing in the rice and beans. Yes. Peeing. That's what he said. Cochran had this look on his face that said, “EW!” while he was telling him this. But wait! At the Reward Challenge something happens that makes his mind snap again.

In the challenge, two people have to hold a rope attached to a large net. Other people toss coconuts into those nets trying to make them drop the rope. Last person holding the rope wins reward for their camp. Brandon and Philip are the rope holders for Bikal. Michael and Matt are holding for Gota. Reynold starts targeting Brandon right away tossing coconut after coconut into his net.

Pretty soon little Brandon is shaking like a leaf until he just can't hold it anymore and BAM he's the first one down. This is the beginning of his end. The challenge goes on with Special Agent Phil being the last man standing. Bikal wins a beautiful spread of meats and veggies to barbecue.

Back at camp, everyone is talking and eating and enjoying each other's company rehashing the challenge and Brandon just sits there being pouty. He's seething with hatred for Philip but it's not really made clear why except that he feels Philip disrespected him in some way. He starts to go after Philip and Philip, to his credit, just walks away. This leaves everyone questioning Brandon's stability. Later, Brandon apologizes to Philip but Philip is now suspicious of him. Philip accepts his apology but tells him not to “bite the hand that feeds him”.

They all spend a completely cold miserable rainy night in silence.

The next day, Philip tells Andrea he wants Brandon gone. He even talks about throwing a challenge to make it so. Andrea, being an idiot who can't cover herself for any reason, lets Brandon know of it. This is when this episode reaches EPIC proportions!

Brandon goes completely apeshit. He rushes to the shelter and dumps all the rice into the sand. Then he grabs the beans and does the same. He starts to go after Philip, who again to his credit, walks off down the beach. Everyone stares at Brandon who is yelling at Philip, calling him the B-word many times and challenging him to a fight. Brandon has decided this was his way to “be the master of his own fate”! What? Yes, that's what he said.

At the Immunity Challenge, Brandon asks to speak directly to the other tribe. Probst knows good TV when he sees it so allows this. Brandon starts ranting about Philip and honesty and some other stuff that made no sense. Probst asks him to come stand next to him in order to keep him from going off on Phil.

Then Bikal does something unprecedented in Survivor history. They forfeit the challenge, giving up on a chance for Immunity, in order to get rid of Brandon. Amazing! Brandon continues ranting about Special Agent Phil, which sends Andrea into tears and makes Corrine grimace with stress. Probst finally makes Brandon leave the area by a circuitous route so he doesn't go near Phil. Gota is stunned but takes their Immunity gladly.

Before he leaves, Probst asks Brandon if this type of behavior is “in the Hantz blood”. Wait a second Jeffy. I am a HUGE Russell Hantz fan and while he was devious and a scoundrel he was also really smart. He would never have gone out like this. He would have worked his way through his tribe one person at a time and done it with all the devious class in the world.

Brandon Hantz may have the same last name but he will never be anywhere even close to the player and villain his Uncle Russell was. In fact, I imagine that somewhere Russell Hantz is wishing his nephew would stop going on TV and just leave the Hantz name to him!

Vag’s Evaluation: Well, back to only challenge this week. I’m sure that Mary Beth has already explained why. I can’t even write about the show like I usually do. This was insane. Literally. Man, what an episode. Truly unbelievable. I know that Survivor is “reality TV”. If it is reality and therefore, REAL, I am scared. Seriously. Scared for the wife of Brandon Hantz. Scared for the children of Brandon Hantz. Scared for the people who live near him in Katy, Texas. Scared for anyone who has to deal with him in any capacity. Hell, I’m scared for his uncle, Russell Hantz.


Brandon Hantz is bipolar. No doubt about it! Here is the Wikipedia definition:

Bipolar disorder or bipolar affective disorder is a psychiatric diagnosis for a mood disorder. Individuals with bipolar disorder experience episodes of a frenzied state known as mania (or hypomania) typically alternating with episodes of depression.

That is Brandon Hantz to a T. During the show I messaged this to my Fellow Survivor Geek Patty. She agreed and noted, “He’s a rapid cycler, too – the worst KIND!”

Rapid cycling, according to the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, occurs when a person experiences four or more mood swings or episodes in a twelve-month period. Brandon Hantz had a minimum of six mood swings in tonight’s episode alone.


Brandon Hantz made Andrea cry several times. He made Corrine decide to throw the Immunity Challenge. And the rest of the Favorites agreed! He made Dawn quiver so badly that Jeff Probst noticed the way she was breathing in an attempt to calm herself. He had Malcolm, Erik, Brenda and Cochran shaking their heads in disbelief. The deranged look he had in his eyes while he was spewing obscenities at Phillip was scary.

Even though we were deprived of an Immunity Challenge and an actual Tribal Council, it was well worth it because it meant that Brandon Hantz was no longer a part of the show. I know that it was probably edited to make it as dramatic as possible, but come on! Probst had physically restrain Brandon Hantz from going after Phillip. There was definite rage in that man’s soul.

I apologize for not recapping the show in my typical jocular manner. Hopefully Mary Beth’s portion covered what I glossed over. I just couldn’t get into it. The way Brandon Hantz acted on a reality TV show made me realize that there are thousands of others afflicted with this disorder. My heart goes out to their loved ones. I’m just glad Brandon Hantz is gone. I don’t even want to see him on the Reunion Show.


On a less serious note: Next week’s recap will be the first one featuring your freshly shorn co-contributors. Hopefully there will be new graphics in honor of our baldness. Until next time…from the booth.

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