Local Shows

Today, as promised in yesterday’s blog, “K-Town TV Changes”, I will be elaborating on the local programs being shown on channel 73. Currently, there are ten such shows in the lineup, with more to be added when the weekend schedule is revealed. For now, here is a bit more on the weekday local shows.

Light ‘em Lenny will feature the bombastic radio host from WLIP, Lenny Palmer. He will provide commentary on local political issues and take your live calls. Parental guidance is suggested for this program.

Curmudgeon Corner’s cantankerous host Michael Chagdes will provide his unique opinion on a myriad of topics. The grouchy local guarantees that your life will be better for having watched his show. Parental guidance is also suggested for this program.

Shakin’ Up Kenosha with Dennis Shook was previously seen on the Kenosha Community Media access channel. This program will focus on a variety of issues in the community. Having appeared on this show, I can attest to its fine quality.

Bundy’s Big Bang will be a music show hosted by Joey Vagnoni. Local bands will be featured with the host also performing. Lots of guitars!

Local sports savant, Pat Hegewald, will host Kenosha Sports Talk. Hegewald offers his analysis on fantasy sports, the local sports scene and a wide range of subjects outside the world of sports.

Yours truly will host K-Town Classics. This program will present clips from TV shows that I enjoyed from days gone by. And yes, due to the enormous amount of requests, The Ray Rayner and Garfield Goose will be featured on a regular basis.

Survivor: Simmons Island will be Kenosha’s version of the popular reality show. Host Mary Beth Lindqvist will guide two tribes of local hopefuls on Simmons Island as they attempt to outwit, outplay and outlast in an effort to become the Sole Survivor.

Watch out Dr. Oz! What Does Dr. J Say? will be Kenosha’s answer to the popular medical advice show. Host Dr. Jamie Burhani Cairo promises to show Dr. Mehmet Oz a thing or two.

Tasting Kenosha will be a blend of all of Gordon Ramsay’s popular shows. Elements of Hell’s Kitchen, The F Word, Kitchen Nightmares and MasterChef will be combined Kenosha style. It was a major coup for K-Town TV to acquire the services of the iconic chef.

The last local program of the day is appropriately called Local and Live! Jim Selovich will host the variety/talk show, with a co-host that has yet to be named. A weekly feature will be the “Kenosha Got Talent segment”. Already named to judge this competition is Sharon Ekern and Patty McGuire Moran Kilkenny. I am still looking for the third judge, preferably of the male persuasion.

That completes today’s K-Town update. If you would like to be considered for the third judge of KGT or you have a suggestion, please leave a comment. My email is vag57@wi.rr.com if you want to get in touch with me that way. Also, if you would like to be notified when a new blog is posted, use the same email address.

Until next time…from the booth.

K-Town TV

As many of you know, Oprah Winfrey has recently launched her own network. It is called OWN – Oprah Winfrey Network. A tad pretentious? Perhaps, but when you are worth 2.4 billion dollars, you can call your network anything you want. Having your own network would be outstanding, wouldn’t it? So outstanding that I have decided to create my own network.

Since I am not worth quite as much Oprah, my network will be called K-Town TV and will be based in Kenosha. The local shows will be done at my Luap Studios located in lovely downtown Kenosha. If you are clever, you will figure out the studio name.

Here is the logo and the Monday thru Friday Schedule:


Midnight – 2 episodes of Seinfeld

1:00 am – 2 episodes of Cheers

2:00 am – 2 episodes of News Radio

3:00 am – 2 episodes of The Bob Newhart Show

4:00 am – 2 episodes of Wings

5:00 am – Barney Miller

5:30 am – The Dick Van Dyke Show

6:00 am – Leave It To Beaver

6:30 am – The Andy Griffith Show

7:00 am – TMJ4 Live at Daybreak – Kim, Vitrano, Gotter and Vitrano

8:00 am – The Newlywed Game

8:30 am – The Match Game

9:00 am – Light ‘em Lenny w/Lenny Palmer

10:00 am – Curmudgeon Corner w/Michael Chagdes

11:00 am – Shakin’ Up Kenosha w/Dennis Shook

Noon – Bundy’s Big Bang w/Joey Vagnoni

1:00 pm – Kenosha Sports Talk w/Pat Hegewald

2:00 pm – K-Town Classics w/Paul Vagnoni

3:00 pm – Survivor: Simmons Island w/Mary Beth Lindqvist

4:00 pm – What Does Dr. J Say? w/Jamie Cairo

5:00 pm – Tasting Kenosha w/Gordon Ramsay

6:00 pm – TMJ4 Live – Pathieu, McCrady, Fish and Needles

6:30 pm – UK News – “Taylored” for America

7:00 pm – Northern Exposure

8:00 pm – The Sopranos

9:00 pm – The Wire

10:00 pm – TMJ4 Live – Pathieu, McCrady, Fish and Needles

10:30 pm – Local and Live! w/Jim Selovich

I think it will be a great weekday lineup. Without going into great detail, the weekend schedule would consist of my favorite game shows, sitcoms and a mini-marathon from 5:00 pm to 10:00 pm. Marathons would include: The Three Stooges, World’s Strongest Man, King Of The Hill, Whose Line Is It Anyway? (BBC), Survivor and Hell’s Kitchen to name a few.

There you have it. Pretty impressive, huh? I will give you a while to absorb the concept. Feel free to send me comments and suggestions, as this lineup can be tweaked. Over the next few days I will elaborate on some of the “local” shows. So be sure to check back often!

Until next time…from the booth.

Gift Giving Time

Having always enjoyed giving gifts, it should come as no surprise that my Christmas shopping is complete. All that is left is a little bit of wrapping. The thing is, I still have the desire to make someone smile with a thoughtful present. What can I do?

Every now and then I wonder what kind of gifts I would give if money was no object, if I was Donald Trump or Oprah Winfrey rich. So, in the spirit of this glorious holiday season, I have decided to distribute some “money is no object” gifts. Not only will I give gifts to friends and family, but also to a few “celebrities”.


“Celebrities”

To Chef Gordon Ramsay, I give a lifetime supply of Ambien® and Rolaids. I would hate to see this man develop an aneurism during an taping of Hell’s Kitchen. He probably already has an ulcer.

To TMJ4’s Scott Steele, I give a role in a low-budget Broadway play. I truly that he would better suited in this endeavor than with his current attempts at entertaining the masses while masquerading as a weatherman.

To Prince Fielder, I give an epiphany that causes him to realize that agent Scott Boras is an evil jackal. This will cause him to fire Boras and sign a long-term contract with the Milwaukee Brewers at a hometown discount.

To Russell Hantz, I give a gift certificate good for a spot on season 22 of the hit reality show Survivor. If necessary, the gift certificate could also be redeemed for season 23. Or season 24. Or season 25…

To certain members of Kenosha’s City Common Council, I give a clue. They definitely are in need of one. Sometimes it seems as if they are on a reality show.

Friends

To Jamie, I give 4 front row tickets to the Bon Jovi concert of her choice. The only caveat is that she will be required to use the limo service that will also be provided. There will be no running to catch a cab.

To Pat, I give a two-hour weekday sports talk show on the radio station of his choosing. He will also be able to determine what time of day the show will be aired.

To Jim, I give a starring role in a Hollywood blockbuster hit. The popularity of this movie will lead to regular appearances on all of the late night talk shows. Except Leno’s. He sucks. A lot.

To Mary Kay and Penny, I give them both an equal piece of Pee Wee Herman’s infamous wiener. Don’t even ask.

To Sharon B., I give a store full of customers, enough to cause her to expand store hours and hire more staff. A significant portion of her new wealth of customers will be made up of family and friends.

To Sharon C., I give the position of Quality Director of the soon to be announced sixth season of HBO’s hit show, The Wire. This will allow her to take an extended leave of absence from the business she currently operates.

To Mike, I give an established publisher and talented author to help write his memoirs. “The Life and Times of an Ornery Curmudgeon” is guaranteed to be on the best sellers list for years to come.

To Julie, I give the time and resources necessary to showcase her outstanding talents. All I ask is that when she becomes famous the world over, she doesn’t forget all the little people.

To Mary Beth, I give unlimited round trip airfare to Sweden, available for her to use whenever the spirit moves her.

To Peter, I give an endless supply of Home Run Inn pizza. This will ensure he never has to eat another Tombstone pizza, no matter how much it would amuse his family.

To Leon, I give any job that he wants. No matter what job he chooses or how many hours he works, it will always provide him with exactly what he needs. He deserves this.

To all my friends that are Cub Fans, I give an ownership and management team that understands what it takes to finally put together a championship organization. Although I can’t stand the thought of the Cubs winning, enough is enough.

British Friends

To David, I give one years worth of vouchers good at any restaurant in England. Not only will this keep him well fed, but it will also save his sisters from having to hear him moan about having beans on toast for dinner all the time.

To Christine, I give a nice, cushy job where she will never be cold again. It will always be warm in the wintertime.

To Margaret, I give a tutor to provide humming lessons. Hopefully this will help her to win the humming game at Christmas time.

To Sue, I give her several invitations to events where her notorious see-through tops won’t cause a scandal. They might even be considered appropriate.

To Debbie, I give a personal chauffer to help transport her rambunctious son Jake to all of his sporting events. This includes, but is not limited to: football, rugby, judo and swimming.

To Bev, I give unlimited Internet access and the ability to see her grandson James whenever she wants to. Also included is a lot of tissues, because I know that she will be doing a lot of crying.

Family

I almost started to list gifts on an individual basis for my family members before realizing that would be silly. We have so much already.

Brother Mike and his wife Amy finally have their two adorable sons. Sister Teri and her husband Mike not only have a couple of great kids, but a pair of wonderful grandchildren. Brother Joey has another brand new hip and his wife Nancy has a blossoming career as a hair stylist and nail tech.

And we all have the greatest Mom anyone could ask for. She has been blessed with four children, four grandchildren and two great grandchildren who all love her dearly.

We are all so fortunate to a part of the wonderful Vagnoni family. Uncle John and Auntie Janet, Uncle Joe and Auntie Joanne and Uncle David and Aunt Bonnie have provided the Vagnoni clan with nine cousins to go along with me and my two brothers and sister.

Yes, as the magnificent Vagnoni family continues to expand, I am aware that we need no gifts. With Grandpa and Grandma ‘Noni, Aunt Bay, cousin John Dean and now my Dad looking down on us, we have the greatest gift there is. We have each other.

Please enjoy your gifts. I am. Until next time…from the booth.

Are You Tuned In?

Have you ever noticed that people are always talking about what they watch on TV? At the water cooler we typically hear questions like “Did you see American Idol last night?” Can you believe what happened on CSI?” “Wasn’t Biggest Loser fantastic?” Americans are infatuated with television. According to Nielsen research, the average American has television usage habits that include watching television for more than 4 hours every day. What about radio?

How much do we listen to the radio? When I Googled “How much radio do Americans listen to?” I got responses like, “Did you mean: How much cardio do Americans listen to” and “Similar questions with percent Americans listen Rush Limbaugh radio”, but nothing to answer my question.

Well, I for one listen to the radio quite a bit. Turning it on is one of the first things that I do in the morning and setting the “sleep” feature on it is the last thing I do when I go to bed. Oh, I definitely turn it off periodically, but I do listen to plenty throughout the day.

Just how much and to what?

There are six presets for both the AM and the FM on my Bose Music System. The AM six are:

1. 540 ESPN - Sports
2. 670 WSCR - Sports
3. 720 WGN – News/ Talk
4. 1000 WMVP - Sports
5. 1050 WLIP – News/Talk
6. 1250 WSSP – Sports

Although I primarily listen to AM, I have set the FM presets as follows:

1. 93.1 WXRT - Adult-oriented Rock
2. 94.5 WLWK – Adult Hits
3. 96.5 WKLH – Classic Hits
4. 96.9 WWDV – Classic Hits
5. 97.3 WQBW – ‘80s Rock
6. 99.1 WMYX – Adult Contemporary

On a normal day I will wake up around 6:00 am and listen to Bill Lawrence’s “Wake-Up Call on WLIP as I go through my customary early morning routine. The show is a good source for what’s happening around Kenosha and Lawrence’s bubbly personality is contagious.

After 8:00 am, I might bounce around the dial a bit, but usually just turn the radio off. That could very well change tomorrow as Dan McNeil and Matt Spiegel return to the “Score” at 9:00 am. It will be interesting to hear how this new show evolves. Spiegel has been a long time favorite and I am anxious for his return to the airwaves.

At 11:00 am it’s time for “The D-List” on 540 ESPN, featuring Drew Olson and Dan Needles. This program provides me with my Wisconsin sports fix. I usually listen until around 12:45 pm when “The Prince of Darkness” - Tom Haudricourt’s segment is finished.

The Bose is usually quiet until 6:00 pm when I tune into “The Game” with Bill Johnson and Steve Haywood, another fine show on 540 ESPN. You would have to search long and far to find two radio hosts that are more amusing than this duo. I laugh out loud every time they discuss the Brett Favre saga, especially when Johnson brings up the “Bugtussle Mafia”.

After 7:00 pm the radio rests once again until I turn in for the evening. As I drift off, what I listen to varies depending on the night of the week. On the weekend it will definitely be Nick Digilio on WGN. This is easily the funniest and most entertaining overnight show. To me, Digilio is better than any lullaby.

Besides Digilio’s shows, there are only two other shows that I make a point to listen to. On Saturday at 9:00 am the dial is tuned to 540 for their Fantasy Sports Weekly show. The trio of Frank Cossentino, Scott Wisniewski and Matt Salmon deliver plenty of sports knowledge while dispensing just enough wackiness to keep me listening.

The other weekend show that I am faithful to is the quirky TRadio show that airs on WLIP Saturdays from noon to 2:00 pm. Billed as Kenosha's radio rummage sale, it is much more than that. Host Jim Selovich, a comedian and actor, has been known to transform the show into a bawdy variety show. You never know what to expect.

Based on the above schedule, I listen to between 6 and 8 hours a day during the week. On weekends, it probably “drops off” to 4 hours each day. What can I say? Radio leaves you free to do so many other things as you listen. It’s the best of many worlds.

Better wrap it up, the Brewers game is over now and I have to tune into the Lowe’s Extra Innings show on 540 ESPN. Until next time…from the booth.